beautifulstill Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) Okay, the logistics. Been in this relationship for over six years, he has accused me of cheating numerous times (completely innocent and proud of it!), the past six months have presented some rough spots but I thought we were working through them, then I found out he has recently joined dating websites. He can't even give me a reason what his intentions were but it is very clear it is my fault. "If I could just be more..." But according to him it isn't cheating. If he was going to do that he would just call (insert several suspiciously familiar names here) anytime. I just need to get over it. Well this rollar coaster has been playing in my head for over a week now. Anything I do bothers him. I am trying hard to be everything he wants, but he is still mad at me. He doesn't understand why I am hurting. I should mention he has been part of my son's life since before he was two. For the most part, I have been doing anything to keep the calm for my little boy's sake. I am overwhelmed, hurt, confused, and so very very very lonely. Please someone just let me know that I am not going crazy and that others have faced this painful confusion and survived. Edited October 3, 2012 by beautifulstill
ThatJustHappened Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 You're not going crazy...and this is not your fault. He's the @sshole here, not you. What he's doing is unacceptable, and not admitting that he's doing something wrong is even more unacceptable. You guys can't fix your relationship unless you're both willing to..and he doesn't seem all that willing. I'm so sorry you're hurting. 2
Author beautifulstill Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Thank you Happened for the support. It really feels like the walls are falling in. I can't sleep, can't eat. I close my eyes and all I can picture his him seeking out someone else. The yearning for him to hold me again is so strong.... I should be the strong intelligent powerful woman my mother raised me to be and here I find myself hurt and banged up by some...silly...stupid boy. The sun will shine again, I am sure of it. But the big question burdens everything, to leave or not to leave....to be alone or to forgive him and live a life of illusions. Is it possible to trust a man?
ThatJustHappened Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Yes it is possible. But maybe not this one. It sounds to me like he may have checked out of the relationship already and that it's only a matter of time. I would suggest couples counseling if he'll go for it. If not...I think you need to consider how much of this you can take, if he's not willing to discuss things or make any changes in your relationship.
robf1971 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 , then I found out he has recently joined dating websites. He can't even give me a reason what his intentions were but it is very clear it is my fault. "If I could just be more..." But according to him it isn't cheating. If he was going to do that he would just call (insert several suspiciously familiar names here) anytime. I just need to get over it. Wow!! look at this from his point of view. He's now got himself on dating websites so that he can have a bit of strange on the side but also has you at home to cook his meals and clean the house. You by not standing up to this appalling behaviour are giving him the green light to keep going do more of the same. Why would he want to change anything, it's perfect for him, he just has to feed you a few lies here and there and he gets to have his cake and eat it. You don't even have to say anything to him, pack his stuff up put it in the garage. When he invevitibly comes begging back, make him walk over broken glass to get the opportunity. This isn't even about him, this is about your self worth. Right now he has zero respect for you, precisely because you are letting him walk all over you, stop this now!!
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