max921860 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 So my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now. We are in out mid 30's and she has two children from another relationship. Our relationship has never been traditional in the sense that she is fully committed to her children and all of the activities that that she is involved in, as well as us living 1 hr away from each other. The relationship was like most, incredible in every way from the beginning (first 2 years) to quite a bit of frustration in the last year. All of which stems from the lack of time we are able to spend with each other ( 2 times a week), as well as me falling into some of the classic mistakes that people do. To be brief, this relationship has brought me to my knees and I am having a extremely hard time with what to do. I have gone from a fun, outgoing, happy man to an insecure, clingy, needy, worrier with this woman. Most of my mistakes/actions, I am aware of and I do know how I am acting, but I cannot grasp how I have come to such a down period of my life. I love this woman more than anything I have experienced in my life. From the beginning, we were so happy, flirty, fun, perfect sexually, and a great friend. Kind of story book which may make some may want to vomit, but it was true. She made me feel so good and confident in myself. Made me a better person and showed me how I want my relationship to be. Truly amazing! Now, the last year has been a different story. This past year, her involvement with activities, friends and obviously, her involvement with her children has taken over and I find myself now left in the dust. Typical things like, not talking as much, seeing each other less, her getting frustrated easily, sex is much less and I am walking on eggshells every day trying not to screw this up. It has made me a person that I don't know. I now rely on her attention in order for me to be happy. Now that is starting to go away and I am so worried that if she leaves, I will be left with nothing. Not a fun place to be. Here is when I made some major blunders and yes, I am aware of what I have done. I now have become the guy that worries every day if this relationship will end today, very insecure, always available to her, going over the top to accommodate her needs, constantly try trying to impress, over the top birthday and anniversary gifts, and so on. All of this with the hopes that she will turn into that person that she was when we started. I am very depressed and it has taken its toll in many ways like my job performance, relationships with friends, and all of my passions/hobbies that I used to do. I am literally a total trainwreck!! I am at a point where nothing else seems to matter to me except being happy with this person. I have never been like this before with any woman and many long time girlfriends in the past. This is the first and only time this has happened. I am totally lost in every way. She has done such a better job than I have in handling this relationship. She is very social, takes care of all of her responsibilities, and is not nearly as affected as I am. But thats not how it started with us. She used to chase me, make a huge effort, initiated time with me as well as initiating sex most of the time. Now it seems like the roles have reversed and she is in total control and I am the one who is sacrificing everything to make this work. Her desire for sex is less, interest is less, patience is less and blames it all on her busy life and stress. We talk every day and she tells me she loves me every day and I believe her, but I have this feeling like the end is near if things dont change. I try and take the approach that I need to chill out, give her space, make her miss me, but instantly go back to these new bad habits when the mind starts worrying that I may lose her. I struggle daily with should I just end it with her. I want myself back, but I also want her back. The way we used to be. I truly do respect love and adore this girl and want her to be happy. I have always treated her in loving, respectful way. The way I want her to treat me. I know I will take a beating for all of the things I am doing by you guys, but I need to hear it. I take responsibility for all of the mistakes I have made thus far. Again, the way I am acting is not me!! I have turned into someone that I thought I could never become. Just need some guidance.
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