s1421 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Hi. I know my fiancee is attracted to me. He tells me all the time. But I'm not attracted to him. I care for him deeply and he has been an emotional rock for me but I can't seem to shake myself of looking at other guys recently. I would compare them with my fiancee and be disappointed with him. I hate admitting that. Can you love someone with no attraction to him? He has other great qualities. I hate admitting all this because I know how superficial it is. One day, I'll be old and not be considered beautiful to most people, so I do feel hypocritical for thinking this way.
Canadian731 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 If you don't have any physical attraction to him why be with him. I know that seems somewhat shallow but are both of you really going to be as happy as you should be when there is no attraction from you towards him? I can't even begin to imagine how dysfunctional your sex life must be. I know you love him, but by looking at other men and being dissapointed in how he looks isnt fair to him or yourself.
mtnbiker Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I wasn't attracted to my ex for the first couple weeks, only when her personality shone through did I begin to see her as being beautiful. Just a thought. How long have you been together?
Author s1421 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Almost 7 years. I've learned to love and care for him deeply. But can't shake the feeling that I still don't particularly find him handsome.
mtnbiker Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 This is not a new feeling, but it is a recent growing feeling then? HAs he become less attractive to you either physically or through his actions or personality? Seven years is a very long time to be together, if you aren't sure you want to be with him by now... Then again, the fact you have stayed with him so long must mean something as well...
oldshirt Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 While it may seem mean and disruptive to call off the wedding and move on there really isn't anything more heartbreaking and frustrating to a man than to be living with a woman he loves that has no attraction or desire for him. It will end up being miserable for both of you because he will be wanting to have an intimate sex life and in a short period of time you will be recoiling, repulsed and resentfull of his advances and he will become bitter and resentfull of your rejections. Having kids will NOT cure this and will only make it worse. I can't understand why you have been with him for 7 years. that's crazy. The point of dating is to determine if you are a good match and to ensure that both of you are on the same sheet of music and will be a compatable couple. You should have moved on years ago before both of you got so emotionally invested. Sure he may be nice and supportive but intimacy, passion, romance etc are a critical part of a marriage and if it isn't there it isn't a real marriage, it is just a friendship. you deserve to be with a man that you feel passion and desire for and he deserves a woman who will feel passion and desire for him. Breaking up now will be painfull and disruptive but the only thing worse than breaking up today is putting it off for another day and wasting another day of both of your lives.
LoveHurts88 Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I can tell you what happens first hand. The first time we broke up she said she loved me but has lost physical attraction for me. We got back together 3-4 months later, I also said I didn't care because I loved her... Bad choice, we broke up 2 months ago and she's with someone else... What they want is the HONEY MOON PHASE.. Everyone looks good during then. We didn't have sex much, she wasn't into it and well everything went downhill. Leave her, its not worth the pain and suffering you will endure if this relationship lasts.
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