pettypink Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Hello - I am so confused about what to do... I met my ex at a party last year and he liked me so much from the start that he asked for my number and talked to me everyday. I started seeing him and falling for him over the next 2 months, but didn't let me all the way in because his ex-girlfriend that he had loved had left him for another boy and he didn't want to be hurt again. He finally asked me to be his girlfriend (after some prodding). We dated for 9 months, and the first four were the best four months we had - he was so happy, and I was too although I didn't let myself acknowledge it because I didn't want to be hurt either. He stuck through with me through my hardest times (stressful internship, family problems, everything). We were long distance, and even though it was hard, we made it through. The next 5 months, I came back to live in the same city as him and we pretty much spent every single night/day together for the next four months. Because of this, I think we started giving each other less attention. During this time, I was at school, and there were a lot of guys who were flirting with me - attention I had never gotten before and didn't know how to handle. As such, I made some mistakes (no cheating!) like talking to them and dancing with them which made my ex very jealous and hurt. It was veryyy mean of me, especially cause I did it more than once. I broke up with him once because I thought we wanted different things in life (he wanted a family and I didnt) and he was so sad. But while we were broken up (2 weeks), I started to change my views and realize that I was just afraid of raising kids, not that I didn't want them. We talked about getting back together, talked everyday/kissed/cuddled everything. One night, I went out and got wasted and asked him to come dance with me. He had been distant that day, and he said no. I got very upset and made out with some random person at the bar. I later went to see him and told him what happened. He was so upset, he kicked me out (I deserved it). He was angry and thought something had broke between us. I tried everything to make it up to him and he finally agreed to take me back. A week later, he ended it, saying he wasn't "into it" anymore and wanted space and time to be alone. I cried, begged, pleaded, did everything I wasn't supposed to but he wouldn't budge. I failed a final and barely passed another one because I wouldn't get out of bed to study. I went down to see him again before I left town for a break for 3 weeks and told him again how much I loved him and realized my mistakes. He broke down, cried and kissed me, saying he still loved me but he didn't know. We cuddled, and he said he didn't lead me on, but I said I'd wait for him. The next three weeks we talked everyday on the phone and he was a little more distant that usual but still very caring and wanting to talk to me everyday. Some days he would talk first, some days I would. I came back to town and was convinced by my friends to stop talking to him in order to give him space, so I stopped talking on the phone and told him to not talk. We didn't contact each other for 2 weeks. I broke NC and talked to him briefly about some things and he started talking to me again, but this time even more distantly. I always started talking to him first. We recently saw each other at my friend's party and talked to each other on the phone drunk (normally, no relationship talks). He told me I looked good and I told him he did too. Th enext night, he and his roomies had a party and we went to it. I got reallly clingy - asked him to sit with me (he didn't fall for it), followed him around, etc. So I think I screwed up again...The next time we talked on the phone he was still distant (more than he had been after the party). I'm so confused about what to do? I can barely look at other guys (as my friends want me to) and I still cry almost everyday even though it's been 2 months. Do I continue to talk to him and stay in his life? Or do I cut contact? He had promised to come on a hot chocolate date with me when we broke up and IDK if I should still ask him to do that... I just dont know what to do...It sucks because he lives a floor beneath me and this is our last year in uni.
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