LaEnchante Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I am in a long term relationship that has been going for nearly 5 years. While we are not highly romantic, we have a relationship that works and is good. Almost a year ago, I met someone else at a work event. When we met, it was one of those strange, other-worldly connections where I fell fast in love with him. We talked online and by text and saw each other in person around once a week. I kissed him and danced with him. I felt very emotionally attached. The affair quickly became very complicated. We both felt uncomfortable with my relationship situation and felt lots of guilt for the potential pain that we could cause my boyfriend. He also was only in the country for 5 months and had no plans to move to the United States (nor I to his home country). We knew that, in the end, we could never be together. After a few months, we stopped contact, which was painful for us both. He left the country without a final goodbye. Sometimes we talk online, very innocently, but this is seldom. I cannot seem to get over him, however, and it has been nearly a year since our last meeting. My heart is broken. I think about him all the time and I miss him terribly. At the same time, I care for the man I am with and want to try to be good to him, but I find myself comparing him constantly to the deep whirlwind of love that I felt for another man, but never him. I also feel silly that I still feel so strongly for someone that I knew for such a short time. What do I do? How do I get over my affair and back to normal life?
Sameold Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 I'm sorry but before you get any other advice you need to tell your bf. You don't get to choose what happens now, he should. You have blown apart 5 years for nothing! Disgusting....
TaraMaiden Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 You're living a lie. Every time you look at your BF you see the other guy, and pine. you really shouldn't be in a relationship right now, your head is in a fug. This is extremely unfair to your BF because you're not committed. You are only giving a portion of yourself, and that's withholding a part of yourself that any partner deserves to have. Quit this relationship and be on your own for a while, until such a time as you can go through the day and feel indifferent about both of them. This could take a while - but while you're 'out of your head' - you're really not good dating material.
Recommended Posts