phatmatt777 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 My girlfriend of two years broke up with me a little over a week ago. Long story short, I loved this girl to death. But we were both not happy towards the end of things. Although the break up was her idea, it was semi-mutual. I understood where she was coming from and reluctantly agreed. I got through a week of torment and devestation that she was gone. We went NC for a week (my idea)...then I get a text from her sunday morning saying that she misses me alot. I knew I shouldn't have responded because it was still entirely too early, and we would both still be very emotional and not logical about things. I took the breadcrumbs and responded anyway. I was very polite and not emotional. As the day goes on emotions come gushing out, mostly on her side. At one point she actually got mad at me for how cold and emotionless I seemed (plus points for me? I was trying hard to remain a rock). She said shes wanted to text and see me so badly all week, and how no one has been there for her. Life without me is just ****ty, etc. To make matters worse, her uncle died this week, and her grandmother was sent to the hospital badly injured. Not the greatest week for her. As much as I knew I should keep the NC thing going, I decided that I just couldn;t sit back and let her do this alone. When things settled I told her that I would try my hardest to be there for her emotionally and to support her (I probably friendzoned myself) but I felt that was the right thing to do. I love her so much. I made it very clear that no matter how hard I will try, I really wanted to keep contact to a minimum because I wanted to be there for her, but I also need to try and move on from all this and keep pushing forward. Essentially I'm trying to get over the woman I love so dearly, while keeping her just close enough where I'm still in sight and can be someone she goes to. The topic of potentially reconciling came up, though I did most of the talking. She told me that if it was any other day of the week, her answer might have been different, but right now she just can't give that to me with everything thats happening in her life right now. She told me she would love for things to work out someday, but right now she just has to focus on her family, she doesn't want to half ass anything. So I don't know if she means that, or if it's just an excuse to keep softening the blow..but I agreed. I do firmly believe that the only chance our relationship has..is to figure out ourselves and what we both want, so we can truely fix the problems we had once and for all. So this space is needed. MY question is...what do I do from here on out? Did I already screw up by telling her I would try and be there for her? I would do anything to get this woman back in my arms, but even in my emotional state I'm trying my hardest to logically think about this and not spill my guts to her. Did I say/do the right things? Is limited contact the best bet right now? If I have any hopes of rekindling this...wtf do I do? Help!!!
chocolatecupcake Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 1. You did NOT screw up. You were there for someone who loved you who was dealing with something traumatic, and that should prove to her that you are someone loyal, reliable, faithful, etc and a GREAT person. she could never say that you are not. And all the more reason for her to consider the option of getting back together wiith you in the future when things with her do settle down. Heres what you need to do now: Take the time to be patient and wait. Only time will tell if what she said to you was true or not. Wait it out and see what happens, theres really not much else to be said about this. She made her decision to break up with you, and she said what she said. You have to take a deep breath and not think too har on this one. Okay? this is coming from an over-thinker. Relax and take one day at a time until she makes her move, and YES keep the contact to a minimum. The more in touch with her you are, the stronger your urges will be to want to pressure her into doing something shes not ready for just yet. Trust me, and this does NOT MEAN that you cant think about her during the day or cry about her or dream about her. But you need to give her space and see what happens.. "As always, my advice is given straight from the heart.~~~"
Author phatmatt777 Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Thanks for the quick reply. I think you're probably right. I already made it through the hell that was last week. I'm starting to have a positive outlook on things, however soon it might be. I'll try and keep an update on what happens. I would love to turn this into a success story, but I'm sure everyone thinks that initially. I'll try not to keep my hopes up too high, if at all
chocolatecupcake Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 Id love an update sometime, just out of curiousity. Good luck to you, Im currently being ignore by someone i have feelings for and im trying to keep my head up as well so to speak. Keep yourself occupied, do what you like (I dance to Deadmau5 in my room and hang out with my friends, go for runs, etc when im not working) and keep a steady heartbeat and neutral outlook. its really all you can do right now.
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