I feel too guilty to breakup with him

[Emily441]

My boyfriend and I have been dating since June and we have gotten along well. We have not had any fights and he is a very nice guy. However, he has so many weird fetishes that it's overwhelming. He is also unsure of his sexual orientation, so I sort of feel like an experiment. He is shy, and he doesn't open up to me much.

 

We are long distance right now and his birthday is on Sunday. He is planning on telling his family about us then. He is a sweet guy but lately in the past 3 weeks he hasn't paid much attention to me, I'm getting really sexual frustrated from all his fetishes and there is a really great guy interested in me. I talked to the guy I like about all this and he said I should let him go, but I just hate hurting people's feelings!

 

I am attached to my boyfriend because I've never been with anyone that long. (4 months isn't very long but when you're 16 like me it is) I love my boyfriend and I'm starting to feel like he just isn't happy with me. He is sweet but I've had to start nearly all of out conversations the past month. He isn't acting the same.

 

My heart wants to be with this new guy that likes me, but my mind is telling me to stay with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is sweet and respectful, and I'd hate to break a nice guy's heart, but I'm just not satisfied with our relationship. Also, I feel that if he is unsure of what his sexual preferences are, he shouldn't be tied down in a committed relationship, he should be out trying new things and meeting new people. He sometimes says he fantasized about me being boy, or him being a girl. He enjoys that. But I don't. He wants me to be dominate, but I don't want to be in charge. I like to be submissive. He never acts like he's really attracted to me either. I don't feel like I can be my complete self around him.

 

 

The new guy that likes me is a friend, and he makes me have butterflies in my tummy when we talk. He's always saying how cute I am and how he wishes I could be with him. I told him how I feel about my boyfriend and he said "Don't be with someone just because you feel like you have to. Sometimes you have to break hearts." I feel awful but I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of my relationship, it's like an old married couple that never does anything fun. This other guy is exciting and romantic. I want to break up, but I don't want to seem like a scumbag. And the thing I feel the worst about it breaking up with him out of the blue, when we haven't had any fights and he's about to introduce me to his family. I'd feel like I'd ruin his birthday if I broke up with him.

 

Help? I need advice! I'm not a bitch, even if this makes me seem like it.

[TaraMaiden]

You know what you need to do, absolutely you do.

it's just that you lack the courage to do it.

Well sweetheart, unfortunately it needs doing - and nobody else can do it for you.

You're just going to have to take a deep breath - and tell him.

Sometimes, there are just no gentle ways of doing it.

[LostOne1]

My boyfriend and I have been dating since June and we have gotten along well. We have not had any fights and he is a very nice guy. However, he has so many weird fetishes that it's overwhelming. He is also unsure of his sexual orientation, so I sort of feel like an experiment. He is shy, and he doesn't open up to me much.

 

We are long distance right now and his birthday is on Sunday. He is planning on telling his family about us then. He is a sweet guy but lately in the past 3 weeks he hasn't paid much attention to me, I'm getting really sexual frustrated from all his fetishes and there is a really great guy interested in me. I talked to the guy I like about all this and he said I should let him go, but I just hate hurting people's feelings!

 

I am attached to my boyfriend because I've never been with anyone that long. (4 months isn't very long but when you're 16 like me it is) I love my boyfriend and I'm starting to feel like he just isn't happy with me. He is sweet but I've had to start nearly all of out conversations the past month. He isn't acting the same.

 

My heart wants to be with this new guy that likes me, but my mind is telling me to stay with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is sweet and respectful, and I'd hate to break a nice guy's heart, but I'm just not satisfied with our relationship. Also, I feel that if he is unsure of what his sexual preferences are, he shouldn't be tied down in a committed relationship, he should be out trying new things and meeting new people. He sometimes says he fantasized about me being boy, or him being a girl. He enjoys that. But I don't. He wants me to be dominate, but I don't want to be in charge. I like to be submissive. He never acts like he's really attracted to me either. I don't feel like I can be my complete self around him.

 

 

The new guy that likes me is a friend, and he makes me have butterflies in my tummy when we talk. He's always saying how cute I am and how he wishes I could be with him. I told him how I feel about my boyfriend and he said "Don't be with someone just because you feel like you have to. Sometimes you have to break hearts." I feel awful but I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of my relationship, it's like an old married couple that never does anything fun. This other guy is exciting and romantic. I want to break up, but I don't want to seem like a scumbag. And the thing I feel the worst about it breaking up with him out of the blue, when we haven't had any fights and he's about to introduce me to his family. I'd feel like I'd ruin his birthday if I broke up with him.

 

Help? I need advice! I'm not a bitch, even if this makes me seem like it.

see the thing is.. this new guy is fun NOW but what about a few months later? What if you become an old couple that does nothing?

 

One thing I learned in a relationship.. the 1st year is ALWAYS the best. From then on things go downhill usually and you don't do as much as you used too. I mean you both are impressing each other and fighting for each other when you 1st meet. But then we all become an old couple until something happens to wake us up and realize we need to spice things up again.

 

So think about that too.... you feel butterflys now, because the new excitement is there. But you could be saying the same thing about ur new guy in a few months.

 

Personally I DON'T get why people cant talk stright up with their partners. I mean if you dislike something TELL HIM, if you find something annoying TELL HIM. I wish people would COMMUNICATE more often. We cant all read each others minds.

 

Sometimes you gotta sit down and talk it all out and bring out what you are bothered by.

 

That way he knows what bothers you and opens up more to you. But people are so stupid these days and hide feelings inside expecting their partner to read their mind.