jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 It kind of shocks me every now and then when there are normal, fit, young people (lots of guys on LS) who can physically attract virtually nobody. So, let's say hypothetically, that you couldn't physically attract anybody. I'm not talking about not being able to attract someone YOU are attracted to. I'm talking about nobody. Let's say for instance you were disfigured in a car crash or accident, but you still had your full health and could do all daily operations fine. But your face was disfigured. What would you do then? Kill yourself? Give up on dating? How would you play your cards?
verhrzn Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I've been told to either get prettier or give up. So, same logic to men I would guess. Get more attractive, or give up.
Author jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 I've been told to either get prettier or give up. So, same logic to men I would guess. Get more attractive, or give up. I know that you feel that your current reality is not far from my hypothetical. And i kind of feel the same. So, if it did happen, what would you do?
verhrzn Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I know that you feel that your current reality is not far from my hypothetical. And i kind of feel the same. So, if it did happen, what would you do? Like I said, give up, or get more attractive (plastic surgery.) I am slowly but surely saving up for the latter. I've also strongly recommended that guys on this site read Dr. Nerdlove. He doesn't do a lot for me, since his focus is more on guys' problems, but I think his tips could be really helpful to guys on this site.
AD1980 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Kind of the position im in:laugh: For me what works best is not even think about trying to get women and clearing that part of my life out my brain because when i try or just think about not attracting women it casues too much pain So for me the best way to deal with it is apathy Most of my friends i hang out with are married and no single women are in my social circle so its pretty easy for me to not even think about it The one thing thats gotten to me a little lately is my friend just got divorced and hes good looking and doing very well with women right now and not that im jealous of him[maybe a little] but what hurts is the married women trying to hook him up saying how excited women are hes single and that feeling of beign invisible starts to creep in again because ive ben single forever and nobodies ever mentioned hooking me up with a women
Author jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Like I said, give up, or get more attractive (plastic surgery.) I am slowly but surely saving up for the latter. I've also strongly recommended that guys on this site read Dr. Nerdlove. He doesn't do a lot for me, since his focus is more on guys' problems, but I think his tips could be really helpful to guys on this site. I think that most 'normal' people would not be able to handle it and would kill themselves, despite all that is said about looks not being important. I'd like someone to chime in with a serious answer...
ThaWholigan Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I would throw myself into my other endeavors that take up most of my time anyway, and get on with it. 1
Necris Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I already can't attract anybody, so this is not new to me, I'd just do what I do now, try to talk to girls in a futile attempt to get them interested in me, and do the other things I do.
Necris Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I think that most 'normal' people would not be able to handle it and would kill themselves, despite all that is said about looks not being important. I'd like someone to chime in with a serious answer... I haven't killed myself, hence the reason I'm supposedly typing this, and I can't attract anyone at all.
Author jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) I haven't killed myself, hence the reason I'm supposedly typing this, and I can't attract anyone at all. Yes, but you are not normal in the sense that you can't attract anybody right now. Why would you kill yourself if the hypothetical is not far from the way things are for you now? When I say normal, I mean people who have been able to attract at least a decent number of people during their lives. I'd like to hear some of the 'normal' people chime in... Edited October 2, 2012 by jobaba
oaks Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I would get on with my hobbies and career until I found someone who did like me. Getting rich would help, but it's not the only attractive quality. Also, meanwhile, I would whine about it on the internet. That's just an observational guess, though.
somedude81 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 It kind of shocks me every now and then when there are normal, fit, young people (lots of guys on LS) who can physically attract virtually nobody. So, let's say hypothetically, that you couldn't physically attract anybody. I'm not talking about not being able to attract someone YOU are attracted to. I'm talking about nobody. Let's say for instance you were disfigured in a car crash or accident, but you still had your full health and could do all daily operations fine. But your face was disfigured. What would you do then? Kill yourself? Give up on dating? How would you play your cards? Honestly, even without the whole horribly disfigured thing, I am unable to attract anybody. And now I'm starting to think about killing myself more and more each day. Right now I'm at the point where I wish I don't wake up the next day and get mad when I realize that a new day has started. I'm jealous of people that die in accidents, wishing it were me.
TaraMaiden Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I think that most 'normal' people would not be able to handle it and would kill themselves, despite all that is said about looks not being important. I'd like someone to chime in with a serious answer... Focus on becoming aware that leading a full, fulfilling, rewarding and happy life doesn't mean you have to have someone hanging on your arm. As this forum can sadly testify, that never guarantees your long-term contentment and joy. YOU do that. A SO may be the "Cherry on the Cake" - but bear in mind what the cake is. 1
Necris Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Yes, but you are not normal in the sense that you can't attract anybody right now. Why would you kill yourself if the hypothetical is not far from the way things are for you now? When I say normal, I mean people who have been able to attract at least a decent number of people during their lives. I'd like to hear some of the 'normal' people chime in... Guess I'm that weird guy then, but whatever, if someone would kill themselves because they can't get a girl or if you're a girl, can't get a guy or whatever they need to seriously man up.
verhrzn Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 There's no one who can't attract ANYBODY. I think this forum begs to differ.
AD1980 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Guess I'm that weird guy then, but whatever, if someone would kill themselves because they can't get a girl or if you're a girl, can't get a guy or whatever they need to seriously man up. I agree with that its more of an ego hit for me and while i do feel pain at times id never kill myself over it i still have family an friends i love being around so is not like im a totally lonely recluse without love.. I think having good friends is paramount when your like us because they make you feel loved and that you are a good person worthy of being loved
TaraMaiden Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 No, it doesn't. Attraction happens all the time. It's the maintenance, upkeep and effort that's lacking. And sometimes - just sometimes - people shouldn't be with the people they're with - at all. Why do we expect life to guarantee us a 'soulmate'? A 'love of our lives'? Just as not every couple who wants to have their own children naturally, has any guarantee of that happening, so we can never assume there's a definite definite out there for us. We shouldn't pin our hopes on expecting that because kook at the word Hope - there's a big fat 'O' in it. Life is really what you make it. As Oscar Wilde so wonderfully put it - "We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
TaraMaiden Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Testing post....? ETA: I just added a post here, but it informed me it was in moderation. This one isn't.... Forum playing weird tricks again. Sorry, O/T.
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I've been told to either get prettier or give up. So, same logic to men I would guess. Get more attractive, or give up. I'm confused. Don't you now have a boyfriend? 1
Necris Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I'm confused. Don't you now have a boyfriend? I believe vehrzn has had a few relationships in the past, but they keep failing or something like that. Since she is capable of getting into a relationship she certainly can attract men, something else is up.
verhrzn Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I'm confused. Don't you now have a boyfriend? Yes, but he is only dating me out of desperation and low self-esteem, not because he actually likes me. If I waited for someone who actually liked me or was attracted to me, I'd never date. 1
verhrzn Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I believe vehrzn has had a few relationships in the past, but they keep failing or something like that. Since she is capable of getting into a relationship she certainly can attract men, something else is up. If a girl was dating you only because she couldn't attract anything else, and not because she actually liked you, would you still call that relationship a "success"? 1
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Yes, but he is only dating me out of desperation and low self-esteem, not because he actually likes me. If I waited for someone who actually liked me or was attracted to me, I'd never date. Did he actually tell you this?
Necris Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Yes, but he is only dating me out of desperation and low self-esteem, not because he actually likes me. If I waited for someone who actually liked me or was attracted to me, I'd never date. I gotta say that sounds like some major insecurity issues coming from you making the relationship doomed to fail, unless he actually flat out said this, and if so why are you in a relationship with this guy? Is it because the exact same reason? Also if he did say this you need to find better guys than that.
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