jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 So, I made a thread about trying to avoid bitterness and some posters called me out for being a wuss. Said that I was unmanly because I was trying to advise other posters to avoid situations that would make them hung up on women and rejection, and ultimately make them bitter. So, apparently men are just supposed to approach indiscriminately, do what they want, shrug off any kind of rejection and keep going. So, being that kind of a macho man will exude the masculinity that will get you women. Then, reading two other threads, different posters commented that if you were Asian or under 6 foot, they wouldn't consider you a man anyway. Blah, blah, trying to change yourself to get women. You can't win. Just be yourself and keep playing...
heather_1 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I agree that you cant ichange yourself but I do think you can enhance yourself. Improve your confidence with women by approaching them regularly be it just for a casual chat or more. Treat it like a sport, practice makes perfect in my opinon. 1
MrCastle Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 So, apparently men are just supposed to approach indiscriminately, do what they want, shrug off any kind of rejection and keep going. Uh, yeah. Pretty much.
todreaminblue Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 So, I made a thread about trying to avoid bitterness and some posters called me out for being a wuss. Said that I was unmanly because I was trying to advise other posters to avoid situations that would make them hung up on women and rejection, and ultimately make them bitter. So, apparently men are just supposed to approach indiscriminately, do what they want, shrug off any kind of rejection and keep going. So, being that kind of a macho man will exude the masculinity that will get you women. Then, reading two other threads, different posters commented that if you were Asian or under 6 foot, they wouldn't consider you a man anyway. Blah, blah, trying to change yourself to get women. You can't win. Just be yourself and keep playing... the thing about criticism is it can be destructive or constructive or a mix of both you can take what you need to grow out of the criticism and discard the rest......what isnt useful to you ....wuss is not useful.....discard it...... here is my advice not criticism not fond of it in general....;0).....dont ask anyone how to be a man......you have that distinction already.....KAMIKAZE ALERT ALERT ALERT.....LOL here it comes love is not a game to be played you were right.....in my opinion pray for guidance when it comes to women....im praying for guidance when it comes to men..or should i say a man.....be happy with who you are don't try and change for anyone.....i am not and i am a kamikaze......i say what i mean i mean what i say type of gal..even if i say sounds stupid i am likely to say it anyway....be that....follow your heart.....pray from there too.....keep your family and friends close hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself and there are women out there who will appreciate your honesty i know there will be a lot of posters saying nah play the game mate treat em mean keep em keen....dont listen to that crap.....this is from a woman who dates short guys, tall guys.....i date men and have made mistakes on who i have gone out with...no more i tell ya....im looking fro an honest man this time....and i have renewed hope i will find what i am looking for if i havent already.......im hoping it is the latter.....love that word latter.....lol..... beeeeeee good follow et's rule and dont forget to phone home.......god listens when others dont......yeah yeah throw things at me after i leave thank you im an extremely good catch so ill thro wit back if i am in range...i wont miss....smilin.....chin up smiley:cool: laugh more, love harder and be good to yourself....throw things now i prefer stuffed animals thanks.....a llama would be cool...deb
Author jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 the thing about criticism is it can be destructive or constructive or a mix of both you can take what you need to grow out of the criticism and discard the rest......what isnt useful to you ....wuss is not useful.....discard it...... here is my advice not criticism not fond of it in general....;0).....dont ask anyone how to be a man......you have that distinction already.....KAMIKAZE ALERT ALERT ALERT.....LOL here it comes love is not a game to be played you were right.....in my opinion pray for guidance when it comes to women....im praying for guidance when it comes to men..or should i say a man.....be happy with who you are don't try and change for anyone.....i am not and i am a kamikaze......i say what i mean i mean what i say type of gal..even if i say sounds stupid i am likely to say it anyway....be that....follow your heart.....pray from there too.....keep your family and friends close hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself and there are women out there who will appreciate your honesty i know there will be a lot of posters saying nah play the game mate treat em mean keep em keen....dont listen to that crap.....this is from a woman who dates short guys, tall guys.....i date men and have made mistakes on who i have gone out with...no more i tell ya....im looking fro an honest man this time....and i have renewed hope i will find what i am looking for if i havent already.......im hoping it is the latter.....love that word latter.....lol..... beeeeeee good follow et's rule and dont forget to phone home.......god listens when others dont......yeah yeah throw things at me after i leave thank you im an extremely good catch so ill thro wit back if i am in range...i wont miss....smilin.....chin up smiley:cool: laugh more, love harder and be good to yourself....throw things now i prefer stuffed animals thanks.....a llama would be cool...deb Haha. You're crazy Deb. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I just need to be myself and tune out all of the negativity from my life.
Minka333 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 For the majority who finds a certain man unappealing. Irregardless of race, height or color. There will always be one non-judgmental woman who would look at him like he is the best-looking guy in the world. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Haha. You're crazy Deb. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I just need to be myself and tune out all of the negativity from my life. cool banannas.... thats the way to roll with the punches........you are most welcome......deb
AlexDP Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 For what It's worth, take it from a man who is consumed by bitterness. It's hard to be considered a "man" in the eyes of a woman when you happen to weigh LESS than most of the women you happen to be interested in (which is honestly a rarity within itself). I'm 26, 5'8" tall, have a waist size of 25 inches and have a body fat percentage of less than 4% body fat. Women don't find me "attractive" at all. And yet, I was "manly" enough to step in when a complete stranger (woman by the way) was being robbed and quiet possibly sexually assaulted and then murdered afterwards. This world is messed up. Far beyond words can say. You aren't wrong to be bitter. Quiet honestly, you'd be naive if you weren't. You can usually influence weight though..
AlexDP Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Not when you have a stomach disorder of unknown origin. Why I said usually. If you have a disorder, that sucks for you, but it's simple biology that females go for healthy males. Muscle and a bit of fat make a man look healthy, so it's normal they're going to be attracted to that. And this is coming from a guy who is pretty skinny himself.
xxoo Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Then, reading two other threads, different posters commented that if you were Asian or under 6 foot, they wouldn't consider you a man anyway. A man pays those kinds of comments no regard
AlexDP Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Oh, I'm "muscular". I know because women have told me that. Trust me, I've done my "research": Bruce Lee, during his prime (at the age of 24) was 5'8" tall, weighed 140 pounds, and had the following measurements: Calves: Left = 12.875", Right = 13" Thighs: Left = 22.5", Right = 22.5" Waist : 29.5" Wrist : Left = 6.75", Right = 6.875" Forearms: Left = 11.75", Right = 12.25" Biceps: Left = 13.75", Right = 14.25 " Chest: Normal = 39", Expanded = 44.25" Neck: 15.5" Me? I'm 26, 5'8" tall, weigh 112 pounds and have the following measurements: Calves: Left = 12 1/4”, Right = 12 3/16” Thighs: Left = 17”, Right = 17” Waist: 25” Wrist: Left = 5 1/4”, Right: 5 1/2” Forearms: Left = 9 1/16”, Right = 9 1/16” Chest: Normal = 31”, Expanded = Currently Unknown Neck: 13 1/2” What's the difference? Bruce Lee was a high profile somebody with an ego. He was also 30 pounds heavier and was't comparing his measurements with someone else's.
Emilia Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Not when you have a stomach disorder of unknown origin. You probably have IBS as discussed before. Go to a bloody doctor!
lino Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Going by what is often said around here, a real man watches tons of porn. Hope that helps you OP.
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 You and the other Bitter Boys/Lovable Losers make it sound that you are uniquely cursed. Dating is hard on everyone. There are plenty of guys your age who are dealing with divorce and not only do they have to deal with dating, but they also have to deal with parenthood and a woman they now hate getting half of their stuff. I know of one woman whose husband left her for another woman, after 35 years of marriage. (I wrote something like this on your other thread, but for whatever reason you ignored it. C'est la vie.) 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Men are allowed to have emotions, so long as they are the "correct" emotions. Joy, happiness, etc. are allowed. Negativity, anger, sadness, bitterness, etc. are off limits. It's interesting how this has worked out, but it is what it is.
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) Men are allowed to have emotions, so long as they are the "correct" emotions. Joy, happiness, etc. are allowed. Negativity, anger, sadness, bitterness, etc. are off limits. It's interesting how this has worked out, but it is what it is. No. Men are allowed to feel whatever emotions they feel. I and every other man I know has felt anger, sadness, confusion, and even some bitterness. I fully admit that dating still frustrates me from time to time, as I still suffer rejections that hurt. Thing is though, it's all in how you handle those emotions. In the end, a real man moves on. Edited October 2, 2012 by Imajerk17
CarrieT Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Just be yourself and keep playing... How not PLAYING at all? Your thread title is how to be a man. Be respectful, honorable, kind, considerate, and honest. Loving and affection certainly help. For the right woman, that is enough... I truly does not have to be a game to be played.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 No. Men are allowed to feel whatever emotions they feel. I and every other man I know has felt anger, sadness, confusion, and even some bitterness. I fully admit that dating still frustrates me from time to time, as I still suffer rejections that hurt. Thing is though, it's all in how you handle those emotions. In the end, a real man moves on. Pfffttt. Your definition of "moving on" involves continuing to approach women with the attitude that they're not going to be like the last one, that maybe just maybe someone out there will tolerate you long enough to want to be around for more than just a couple of days. That's not "moving on". That's being "delusional". I will move on by not attempting such frivolities.
Emilia Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I've already seen a specialist. All she did was prescribe me "belladonna" and another pill, which did jack **** nothing. I seriously doubt that anyone is going to be able to "help" me. I'm just posting for sake of the OP. If the rest of you don't like what I have to say, then go ahead and shove it. Cause I'm tired of being shamed for being honest. Perhaps you can do what you are subscribe to others? You are not being honest, just venting without any sense upsetting others. IBS is found through a process of elimination. you need to start a food diary and try to work out what you react to. Cut out dairy to see if anything changes. If not, look at the next food group.
somedude81 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 For the majority who finds a certain man unappealing. Irregardless of race, height or color. There will always be one non-judgmental woman who would look at him like he is the best-looking guy in the world. Bullsh*t. I hope nobody falls for that crap.
hurting tonight Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 IBS has nothing to do with a stomach disorder and weight.
Kofybean Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 For the majority who finds a certain man unappealing. Irregardless of race, height or color. There will always be one non-judgmental woman who would look at him like he is the best-looking guy in the world. Is that an excuse for shallow behavior? That there is one person out there? Out of 7 billion people, you are probably right. How long would it take to go through them all? Realistically, there are only about 25k days in your life. Per your logic, if a guy spend every day of his life talking to a different woman since birth to find that one women someone whose standards weren't over his head... he'd died prior to discovery.
Recommended Posts