Little ?

[someguy6187]

So I'm just a little confused here. I am a late bloomer and haven't had too much experience in relationships. I started seeing this girl a few months ago and we had known each other through work for approx 3 years. Well I became single at the time and asked her out and we started hanging out. Found out she had a crush on me that whole time. She was great, she was fun, energetic, asking to hang out, calling me more and more, sex was great, and thought she was the one! After about 5 months of dating she approached me about being exclusive and I eventually responded with yes I would like to, "you are great deal and i know when it's a good thing" was said to her. While initially hanging out I was a ball buster to her, calling her on everything but still doing nice things to let her know I care and she was great at giving it right back to me. In the beginning she was texting me everyday multiple times and talking about everything. Even called me a player which I thought was hilarious (effects of late bloomer.) After becoming exclusive I decided to lay back on this busting and increase the niceness. Approx 1 week after we became exclusive semi got in an argument about helping her move, no yelling, just casual conversation and she became upset with the fact I wouldn't drive up the day of moving and drive back (it was Mother's day...valid reason) yet I couldn't come up to hang out with her on her graduation night. I was driving to and out of town deal and happened to be right on her road and knew she was moving so I called her and she said sure come on over. When I was pulling around the corner she called me back and said "hey we are going to the other apartment," despite my response of I'm 1 min away so I sat there and waited by myself. Thought nothing of it but saw her and helped her move after showing up and she stopped kissing hi at this very point....which was weird but possible because her mom was there yet we are exclusive...confusing. Left and she was kind of distant sitting from me and barely kissed goodbye. She came over the next night and went out to dinner to a new place and had a good time. We came back to my place and we usually make out (maybe more) and she wasn't having any of this! She pecked but that was it, very very confusing. She wasn't against cuddling though. So this continued another two times with no making out or any physical contact. We had a date set up and I ended up cancelling because I thought it was over. She called me next day asking what happened? It started to seem like when I pulled back she came and when I went after her she pulled back. This continued and I lost all interest in her. We continued to talk but seemed different after that, just not her normal responses. Lost all enthusiasm. On Mother's day I called her to wish her mom a happy mother's day. She was actually in town (2 hr drive to her school) and I said well can I come by and see you and say Happy Mother's Day to your mom. She said no, just no. I said ok well how about later tonight I could stop by or you could come over....to which she said no. Got to the point where we didn't talk for a few days despite talking every day multiple times before exclusive title. Started missing her and ended up meeting up and talking about it a bit and saying ok not sure what happened but "still have feelings talk." I made a joke and said "Let's start over.....Hi I'm Jim, nice to meet you." Started talking again but she seemed distant. We started skipping days talking and she ended up coming over day before my birthday and gave me some thoughtful gifts but didn't have a card despite her mailing me cards earlier in the relationship. We kissed and she obviously wanted to because she was constantly looking at my lips. She text me early on my bday but never gave a phone call despite me calling her on her bday only 2 months before. I gave up completely at this point and we didn't talk until we saw each other at a mutual party. Both of us ended up getting drunk and she felt like I had become distant, well yeah no S. I told her you are worth the fight and she pecked me on the cheek. Yah I know it's done. Called her next night and she just texted back the next day. Called a few days later and same thing, text next day. I ended it after talking to her and she said she was coming over on a Saturday and I text her Fri evening and she didn't get back to until 8am and she just said what about the afternoon despite us agreeing that we talked about night and she knew I was working. I didn't respond and she ended up calling a few hours later and we talked and said my buddy is in town and was asking if we were hanging out in evening and would see my buddy earlier in the day. Just could never understand the concept of why she could never directly answering the question. I was just a little upset about her not answering the question because earlier in the relationship we would talk on the phone and she would say she is gonna come over and just has a few things to do and would show up 7 hours later. She said I never agreed to "grab food from grocery and cook together" despite her never saying no on the phone and saying see you soon. Does this seem weird, I think so. We talked for a good 4 hrs on the phone and I told her I wanted this to be a relationship but you just got so distant. Just hurts to think about it but I cooked her so many dinners and was always there to help her out or drive to WI at 8am just so she can have someone to eat breakfast with. Did I just date a b*$&@?

[someguy6187]

Also wanted to mention she said she was confused and didn't understand why I ended it. I am 27 she is 22 and chalked this up to immaturity. Thanks for any advice!

[River Rain]

She sounds immature when it comes to relationships, like, she doesn't know how to act. The whole game playing though...when you came to her, she'd pull back and vice versa...when it gets to that, maybe it's time to call it quits? If you're supposed to be exclusive, there should be more closeness and intimacy, and I'm not just referring to sex, but like you said, long conversations and the desire to spend time together. I wouldn't let her continue to take you for granted like that. She says she's confused, but at some point, she has to become un-confused and talk to you about what she wants from a relationship, if at all right? My ex played the distant game with me and said he was confused, strung me along for three weeks until I finally got fed up. He beat me to the punch and dumped me first, but at that point, I knew it was over. Being with someone should not be confusing and upsetting, it should be wonderful and loving. I'm babbling a bit here, sorry!