CheezDoodle Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I don't understand what's wrong with me. She rejected me about a year ago. (despite having lingering feelings for me after I went hot and cold on her because I wuss'd out because I didn't want to enter a relationship with someone I only knew for a month and didn't man up and just tell her that) She told me she hadn't really ever liked me though i know she wasn't entirely truthful at the time. So now we're in limbo. It seems her feeling are back but I don't know how to approach the situation. In fact, I find myself ignoring her because I just shut down around her which never used to happen before. She'll make small gestures like smiling whenever she sees me, trying to initiate conversation, saving me seats next to her in lecture, etc. Me? I had the option oif sitting next to her or my friend (they were sitting together) and I chose to sit next to my friend because it was more convenient and lecture had started so I didn't want to cross the front and draw attention to myself. She. looked. miserable. In fact, in our next lecture together, she didn't even smile at me, she just looked at me with this weird sad/confused expression. After I said hi to her and gave her a smile she acted normal again and we had some small talk... I don't understand what to do and my brain (paranoia YAY) isn't helping. I have to constantly fight off dumb thoughts (this is x reason why she doesn't like you), (she was laughing with that guy you don't know, she likes him), etc. The most recurring theme being she has already found a new guy she likes and the only reason she constantly glances at me and pays me special attention is because she doesn't want me to feel bad and she feels guilty or something. Ask her on a date? I feel like she'll just be confused if I haven't been wearing my true feelings on my sleeve for awhile now and I randomly ask her on a date. Just sit her down and talk to her? Sounds awkward. I didn't get it right the first time I tried to tell her how I felt, and I was a mess when she rejected me. As soon as she rejected me , I wanted to get out of there so badly. So how should I proceed? I'm in a dorming college btw and she lives in the same building as I.
CC12 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Quit ignoring her and shutting down when you see her? It would be kind of weird if you asked her out on a date after being aloof with her. So warm up. Make jokes, flirt, and try to appear interested. If she seems to reciprocate, then you can ask her out. Don't wait too long on this, though.
Author CheezDoodle Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 I can never think of anything to start a random conversation with her. It always came natural before and now all I think of is schoolwork.
CC12 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Talk to her about schoolwork, then. Once you're on that subject, you can guide the conversation elsewhere. Talk about interesting things that happen in the dorm building you share, or something. Have you done the "catch up" talk yet to find out how her life has been for the past year? Ask her how she's been doing, what she's been up to, how school has been, what classes she's taking, if she's still into yoga or whatever. Don't freeze up around her. It's not like you're approaching a mountain lion or something. She's just some girl you used to be friendly with. She's not going to bite you.
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