People don't know a good catch when they see one, does it have to be that way?

[monkey00]

I really don't understand why people. And I feel women are more guilty of this actually. If there's a single guy who's probably a great catch and is well balanced gets shot down by women or goes out on a date with said woman and she decides he's not right for her.

 

Then down the line the guy winds up with a gf and all these women come out of the wood works clamoring for him. Maybe for attention or maybe they really do want him. And then they realize there's a quality about him that makes him qualifying bf material.

 

I feel like guys are easier to please and don't have the same high expectations of a woman/girlfriend that women have for men/boyfriend.

 

Women and men: Have you turned down someone only to regret it later on when you ran into them again or found out they were in a relationship?

[Mrlonelyone]

The reason is that people are followers. It's always easier to drive on the paved road, than to break a new path.

 

I have had it happen to me, when I am not in a RLship I can't get the time of day from some folks. When I am in a RLship suddenly the same people throw themselves at me.

 

No one wants to be the first to pick the forbidden fruit.

[monkey00]

No one wants to be the first to pick the forbidden fruit.

 

Well whoever's willing to take that risk might be in for a reward/surprise. Anyone else who didn't bother lost their chance. People can be such fools sometimes.

 

Another question I forgot to add also to my OP is: Has anyone been turned down by someone only to have them regret it in the future?

[madjac74]

There is a girl that I blew off that I will never forget. She did nothing but be amazing. I think every guy needs a taste of that in his life to remind him that he isn't that awesome.

[GirlontheLam]

Women and men: Have you turned down someone only to regret it later on when you ran into them again or found out they were in a relationship?

 

I can think of one person that is like this. And the only reason we didn't get together is that he wasn't direct enough in declaring his interest and I missed his subtle signals. I think he is single at the moment, but he lives on the other side of the country so no dice there!

 

I totally knew he was a good catch, apparently our bait and hook didn't seem to line up at the right time.

 

I can think of people in my social circle that I think are great catches, but I have no chemistry with them, and can't think of anyone to set them up with...

[Kofybean]

I really don't understand why people. And I feel women are more guilty of this actually. If there's a single guy who's probably a great catch and is well balanced gets shot down by women or goes out on a date with said woman and she decides he's not right for her.

 

Then down the line the guy winds up with a gf and all these women come out of the wood works clamoring for him. Maybe for attention or maybe they really do want him. And then they realize there's a quality about him that makes him qualifying bf material.

 

I feel like guys are easier to please and don't have the same high expectations of a woman/girlfriend that women have for men/boyfriend.

 

Women and men: Have you turned down someone only to regret it later on when you ran into them again or found out they were in a relationship?

 

Google "mate poaching". It is an interesting phenom.

[phineas]

I've had women that straight up blew me off months later all of sudden blowing up my phone because I was seen out with someone else or there was just the slightest hint from me to a friend of a friend that I'm dating but it isn't serious (FWB).

 

it's retarded.

 

But guess what? Once those women thought they had me, they lost interest.

I had to keep them in a state of constant validation through sex with the shadow of sex with other women just a text away.

 

Too much work.

 

And those women I spoke of have a new BF every 7 months. Total trainwrecks.

Edited October 2, 2012 by phineas

[El Brujo]

One person's "good catch" is another one's poison fish.

[monkey00]

Google "mate poaching". It is an interesting phenom.

 

Just looked it up...fascinating. Found the below from a web source:

 

Some men skip from relationship to relationship, never once staying single, because they always have a girl waiting in the wings. We tend to hate these guys, but it might be our fault they exist. Social psychologists at Oklahoma State University published a report in the current issue of Journal of Experimental Social Psychology on “mate poaching.” Participants in their study were shown the same picture of a moderately attractive male or female, depending on their gender, and some were told the person was in a relationship. Then, participants indicated how interested they’d be in pursuing a relationship with the person in the photo.The study found that single women were more interested in the guy when they were told he was already in a relationship. In fact, 90 percent of the women were interested in him when told he was taken, compared to 59 percent when told he was single. Men didn’t show any preference for the women as related to their relationship status, and neither did women in relationships.

“This finding indicates that single women are considerably more interested in pursuing a man who is less available to them,” reports Dr. Burkley. “This may be because a man who is attached has already shown his ability to commit and, in a sense, has been pre-screened by another woman.” Unconsciously, we’re screwing ourselves. By finding guys who are able to commit more appealing, we’re overlooking the ones who are available. Brains are useless when it comes to matters of the heart.

[Kofybean]

Just looked it up...fascinating. Found the below from a web source:

 

Therefore, the easiest way to get a girlfriend, is to already have a girlfriend.

[monkey00]

Therefore, the easiest way to get a girlfriend, is to already have a girlfriend.

 

Sounds like a catch 22. You can't get the job unless you have job experience, but if no one hires you how can you get the experience for said job!?

[somedude81]

Simply because what you think a good catch guy is, doesn't mean that a girl would think the same guy was a good catch.

 

For some reason, stoner guy who plays in a band would be much more desirable then a somewhat nerdy guy who is finishing up his engineering degree.

[GirlontheLam]

Therefore, the easiest way to get a girlfriend, is to already have a girlfriend.

 

I've got a friend like this. He is a good catch on pretty much all of the definitions. There are seriously like 20 women waiting in the wings. It is pretty hilarious.

[GirlontheLam]

Simply because what you think a good catch guy is, doesn't mean that a girl would think the same guy was a good catch.

 

For some reason, stoner guy who plays in a band would be much more desirable then a somewhat nerdy guy who is finishing up his engineering degree.

 

The guy I mentioned with 20 women waiting in the wings? Masters in computer science. And he is super nerdy. Working on a PHD now.

[CaptJay]

The reason is that people are followers. It's always easier to drive on the paved road, than to break a new path.

 

I have had it happen to me, when I am not in a RLship I can't get the time of day from some folks. When I am in a RLship suddenly the same people throw themselves at me.

 

No one wants to be the first to pick the forbidden fruit.

 

Personally, I've found that this happened to me a few times in the past because (after reflection; not at the time) there was something about being in a relationship that boosted my self-confidence through the roof while permitting me to let my guard down a bit, acting much "cooler" (chill) that I was while single.

 

Not sure if I'm the only one that feels that way though...

[CaptJay]

Another question I forgot to add also to my OP is: Has anyone been turned down by someone only to have them regret it in the future?

 

Yes, I am glad you asked this question. I am 38-years old and when I hit my early 30s, I had 4 women from my past contact me out of the blue to tell me "how great I was back then" (yeah right!) and that they regretted that things didn't work out (i.e. dumping me, I suppose!) back in the day.

 

I was involved with these four women when I was between 16-22, so I found it odd but slightly flattering that they popped-up 10+ years later.

 

My guess is that their memories of me at the time were better than their current situation in life (divorced, out of relationships for a while, etc.) and they were feeling me out ot see if I was taken.

 

That was the common denominator with all of them - a few minutes of small talk followed by the inevitable "oh, BY THE WAY... are you seeing anybody." After I told each of them that I was married, none of them ever contacted me again!

 

I guess I wasn't that good!

 

cj

[CaptJay]

Wanna pick up a bunch of woman at a bar?

 

 

PUT ON A RING

 

No joke... that still baffles me to this day!

[monkey00]

Wanna pick up a bunch of woman at a bar?

 

 

PUT ON A RING

 

Wanna pick up women from the street!? Walk a dog or push around a baby in a cart

[EasyHeart]

A "good catch" is only relevant if a woman is looking to marry and/or have children. If she's young and just looking to have some fun, it simply doesn't matter if you're a "good catch".

[iris219]

Women and men: Have you turned down someone only to regret it later on when you ran into them again or found out they were in a relationship?

 

Never.

 

I have, however, regretted giving someone who seemed like a good catch a chance when I knew I didn't feel it. It was a painful waste of everyone's time. Seeing this person with someone else would make me happy for them (and glad they won't try to ask me out again).

[Mrlonelyone]

No. Unless I was in a relationship when I turned them down. I know people have regretted turning me down.