Do you think distance ITSELF can ruin good relationships 2 ?

[bluegreen]

Huh what happened to that thread it got closed did we over talked it talked it all out nothing was left to say or was it something else ?

I was first one to get upset about some "facts" on it but @mods seemed to get situation under control so what happened anyone knows ?

[esstea]

Keeping my thread topic alive I see

 

I think the mods deleted it because of too many opposing opinions that weren't going anywhere. I mean it is a pretty debatable topic and there really is no right answer but merely a point of view, but no one wanted to simply agree to disagree.

[Star Gazer]

Good question! I actually had wanted to answer some questions in that thread that were posed to me, but the thread was closed.

 

To answer Elswyth and Little Tiger: It's been 10 months since I've SEEN my SO in person; that's not how long we've been dating. You both assumed incorrectly. This is why I asked you how you think military relationships survive. Many go or have gone just as long as I have without seeing their SO due to deployments. Those deployments don't break strong couples.

[bluegreen]

Star Gazer that's what I have also asked and since I have soft spot for uniformed forces : ))) and reason for it some of the posts seemed like childish whining to me as well.

 

Es-tea I hope we will be "allowed" to continue here and am glad : )) it was your thread am trying to keep alive you seem like great girl.

And actually this place has more then few people like that its amazing to be able to say that for one forum and members on it ...

[LittleTiger]

Good question! I actually had wanted to answer some questions in that thread that were posed to me, but the thread was closed.

 

To answer Elswyth and Little Tiger: It's been 10 months since I've SEEN my SO in person; that's not how long we've been dating. You both assumed incorrectly. This is why I asked you how you think military relationships survive. Many go or have gone just as long as I have without seeing their SO due to deployments. Those deployments don't break strong couples.

 

Are we allowed to resurrect threads that are 'under moderation'? If not, then this one will get locked off too. Perhaps if we 'play nice' and stay on topic?

 

Sometimes deployments do break strong couples Star Gazer, despite the fact that the military goes to great lengths to provide support for soldiers and their partners and families AND huge incentives (to men in particular) to stay married. Divorces amongst ex-military personnel are actually higher than the general population, because of the stressors of military life and the fact that incompatible couples stay together, during service, precisely because of those incentives - rather than because the relationship is strong.

 

In addition, military relationships usually have a definite end date. A girl I used to work with had a relationship with a soldier who was long term deployed. They got married eventually, but she wouldn't marry him until his deployment days were over because she couldn't handle the distance on a permanent basis.

 

How long have you guys been dating SG? If it's very early days for you, then I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get to close the distance soon. I wouldn't wish a long term LDR on anyone.

 

To survive a LDR requires a lot of unique skills that you have to learn as you go along. If you're lucky, you'll make it through the tough times and come out stronger, but it is very naive to think that you won't have tough times just because you are so compatible and so much 'in love'. The longer two people are apart, the more chance there is that problems will arise.

 

Moral of the story? Close the distance as fast as you can or be prepared for a rollercoaster ride!

[bluegreen]

I hope NOT : )) I like this subject have a lot to say on it and hope to read a lot on it few "morons" are not worth having it put under lock this time we should just ignore them ...

[justwhoiam]

Divorces amongst ex-military personnel are actually higher than the general population

Judging from "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", I would say not so many. You see the couple and all his (married) colleagues...

 

But of course there'll be divorces like for the rest of the population. I don't have any statistics, and of course fake marriages to get incentives would be included. So they wouldn't be very useful.

 

Distance itself can ruin an otherwise "good" relationship? Distance is like any other (big) hardship. It surely plays a role in the dynamics. So how strong the love is key. If no one feels like moving to the other country, the couple can spend some time here and some time there, not impossible (but maybe not 50/50, it'll be like 9 months in a place and 3 in another, for example). I know people who have done that all their life long for 800 miles or more. On the other hand, I know married couples who were never LD and split up because she wanted to live somewhere else and he couldn't leave (I'm sure it was not the only reason, but a big one).

 

So this just tells me that when/if love is there everything can be overcome.

 

Some mentioned that some couples were fine in any aspect of their relationship, except for the distance: that was their hardship and they couldn't overcome it.

[bluegreen]

Roller Coaster Tornado Volcano and Wild Sea Hurricane all rolled in one seems like better description.

Sometimes its hard to ask WHY are we doing this and how will we survive heartache if it all fails ....