elcklan Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Wasn't this your post from a few years ago? You're referencing your xMM... That would represent that you had cheated, yes? You seriously need to work on yourself
standtall Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Projecting? Sorry, not us. My one and only wife and I are in our 17th year of a Bible based marriage and family.
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Sorry, not us. My one and only wife and I are in our 17th year of a Bible based marriage and family. I hope your kids are okay then seeing how you don't think you can address them as people until they are past the age of ten. 2
standtall Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) I hope your kids are okay then seeing how you don't think you can address them as people until they are past the age of ten. Wow...that's a sarcastic personal attack...Get it straight jack, I don't treat them as adults until they are older and ready....my kids don't run the show, me and my wife do. You run your house the way you want, and we run ours the way we want. Children are children, and IMHO, need to be sheltered from the ugly realities of failed marriages and such until both parents have decided that their maturity level is ready for it...not just the cheater or the betrayed one. If the squabbling spouses can't put their own differences aside to help their children through whatever drama it is, then perhaps they should give the kid to Solomon to see who really cares for them, because some posters here make me wonder. Edited October 4, 2012 by standtall 2
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Wow...that's a sarcastic personal attack...Get it straight jack, I don't treat them as adults until they are older and ready....my kids don't run the show, me and my wife do. Children are children, and IMHO, need to be sheltered from the ugly realities of failed marriages and such until both parents have decided that their maturity level is ready for it...not just the cheater or the betrayed one. If the squabbling spouses can't put their own differences aside to help their children through whatever drama it is, then perhaps they should give the kid to Solomon to see who really cares for them. Calm down Chief. I was just going off what you said first. 1
standtall Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 (edited) Calm down Chief. I was just going off what you said first. BS, your last post attacked my children, marriage, and Bible.You can't un-fire the bullet...but I don't hold grudges. I've said my peace/piece, noFool polled my opinion and got it. Edited October 4, 2012 by standtall
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 BS, your last post attacked my children, marriage, and Bible.You can't un-fire the bullet...but I don't hold grudges. I've said my peace/piece, noFool polled my opinion and got it. Are you suppose to be on medication or something? 1
elcklan Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Aww, that is the beauty of the site. Everyone can voice an opinion and have it heard whether there is agreement or not. The bolded is your opinion for your life....for those of us who have a different point of view and chose a different path...what you say does not work. When a WS divorces for an AP does that say who was right or wrong... probably not. And divorce comes about for many reasons not just infidelity...so divorce does not = wrong..it = divorced. And I didn't say you can't have your opinion, that won't change mine. When WS divorces for an AP means WS has reasons and it is right decision, or you would like he would stay out of guilt, because of kids.. Best thing try to help yourself and move on. But again it is victims mentality, poor poor me, how could he, I gave up my life for him and look at that, kids should know it all..
2sunny Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 And I didn't say you can't have your opinion, that won't change mine. When WS divorces for an AP means WS has reasons and it is right decision, or you would like he would stay out of guilt, because of kids.. Best thing try to help yourself and move on. But again it is victims mentality, poor poor me, how could he, I gave up my life for him and look at that, kids should know it all.. You may be looking at extreme situations of disclosure to kids. Appropriate balance for the age seems more healthy and useful. 2
Decorative Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 There are so many ways to tell kids it is not their fault. Sounds like trying to guilt tripping your husband Hmmm. Yeah. Notsomuch. My spouse was shown the door and told he could go and be happily ever after with OW. He could not get back to me fast enough after that- and worked his rear end off to stay with me. Guilt tripping isn't a part of the equation. Honesty and being a tight family unit is. I apologize- I missed your backstory. Are you a betrayed spouse? wayward? Child of a wayward? You have a lot of passion on this issue, so I am curious what your experience is? 1
2sunny Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 And I didn't say you can't have your opinion, that won't change mine. When WS divorces for an AP means WS has reasons and it is right decision, or you would like he would stay out of guilt, because of kids.. Best thing try to help yourself and move on. But again it is victims mentality, poor poor me, how could he, I gave up my life for him and look at that, kids should know it all.. What's YOUR STORY? Why are you here? You are correct - I don't need YOUR APPROVAL to voice my experience and perspective! 3
todreaminblue Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 What's YOUR STORY? Why are you here? You are correct - I don't need YOUR APPROVAL to voice my experience and perspective! if you look at this thread in all its entirety ....the lashing out the incriminations all done with posters who dont know each others story completely....this is with the simple mention of affairs and kids who have to deal with it...peopel turn nasty.......even when they are nto directly involved....affairs are nasty all round arent they....cloud judgements turn strong men and women into confused and hurt individuals.....direct involvement isnt even needed....now....we as adults.....turn into two camps.....has anyone checked the children yet.....the victims are th ekids and adults who will always fall into one or the other camp.......become kids themselves....this thread is proof of this...the kids should have a say....sheltering kids....to a certain degree......but sometimes it isthe kids who see more than we do...even when we try and shelter them, you just cant...kids will often be more observant than us....who finds the money on the streets....kids...why.....they look everywhere why we concentrate on getting to the destination they are observing what rolls past the window........we are too busy arguing to see what they see...this thread gets vicious....adults do that........deb 3
elcklan Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 What's YOUR STORY? Why are you here? You are correct - I don't need YOUR APPROVAL to voice my experience and perspective! My story doesn't have the affair aspect. My ex husband just wanted me to change into a different person. But do just people with experience of cheating can have their opinion about it? I've seen this happened too many times around me, and it didn't bring any benefits to kids. All it brought were physical anxiety signs. Now do I need your approval to talk about this topic further?
standtall Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Are you suppose to be on medication or something? More personal attacks?
amaysngrace Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 More personal attacks? No. Not at all. You accused me of all kinds of things I didn't imply. 1
standtall Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) No. Not at all. You accused me of all kinds of things I didn't imply. What are these then? Are you suppose to be on medication or something? that is self explanatory. Projecting? again personal and this last one, in direct response to my post that I am happily married to my one and only spouse of 17yrs, with a Bible based family, you responded by I hope your kids are okay then seeing how you don't think you can address them as people until they are past the age of ten. Which attacks our parenting style..and our family. Yes, they are personal attacks. I try not to engage in them, but being human, I sometimes fail, but you're engaging in a repetitive pattern of them. I am trying to point this out so that you can maybe... perhaps... refrain from continuing on before the mods slam dunk this thread. Edited October 5, 2012 by standtall
Author nofool4u Posted October 5, 2012 Author Posted October 5, 2012 It's amazing how most of the posters in this thread are missing the most important point. The posters here are stating what the parents deserve and who is the most fit...the question should be what is in the best interests of the children. And I'll say again, what would you perceive as best for the children, a loving parent who would stay home with the children and take their well being always into consideration, or the other parent that would leave the children at home with the other so they can screw other people? As far as the "who is most fit", that WOULD directly relate to what is in the best interest of the children. As far as what the parents deserve, well, it sucks to holy hell that a mother can disregard their children's well being by engaging in affairs, and the father gets screwed even further by not only being betrayed, but now being forced to be an every other weekend dad. Again, IMO, the parent that didn't give a crap about the well being of their children enough to keep from wh0ring around shouldn't be considered a best interest of the child. They can be fully involved in the child's life, but the parenting should go to the one that does everything for them and wouldn't risk their well being and happiness. 1
HappyAtLast Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 As far as what the parents deserve, well, it sucks to holy hell that a mother can disregard their children's well being by engaging in affairs, and the father gets screwed even further by not only being betrayed, but now being forced to be an every other weekend dad. /QUOTE] That very reason is exactly why I chose to stay with my boys' mother all those years ago. I would be damned if I was going to be a weekend dad because she chose to step out.
amaysngrace Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 What are these then? that is self explanatory. again personal and this last one, in direct response to my post that I am happily married to my one and only spouse of 17yrs, with a Bible based family, you responded by Which attacks our parenting style..and our family. Yes, they are personal attacks. I try not to engage in them, but being human, I sometimes fail, but you're engaging in a repetitive pattern of them. I am trying to point this out so that you can maybe... perhaps... refrain from continuing on before the mods slam dunk this thread. And I'll say it again...I wasn't attacking you. Sorry that you took it that way. I never even sought you out to post to you directly. I only answered you when you quoted me. The one thing I did do, however, was like your first post about thinking of what is best for the child. 1
standtall Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) And I'll say it again...I wasn't attacking you. Then I'll say it again..what was this? Your words exactly directed too me below. Are you suppose to be on medication or something? Just because you say you didn't say something doesn't make it true. I'm flabbergasted since your a big advocate of the truth at all costs, but you cannot tell the truth on a simple forum like this. Sorry that you took it that way. I never even sought you out to post to you directly. Again, refer you your medication insult. Who were you posting too exactly? Big bird? Lie #2 all in the same post..amazing. Are you going to lie some more and try to get the last word in and deny what you clearly said/did. My advice to the OP, nofool... 1. don't get advice or opinions here..it seems a lot of the posters have some major ethics/mental/reality issues. Go to the forum where the majority of the posters are not so absolute/bitter/mental. 2. You obviously had your mind made up anyway so why ask to pick a fight? Edited October 8, 2012 by standtall
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