Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 So, there are 2 guys that are more or less acquaintances that I've had feelings for in the past. I don't know how they feel about me and I'm now questioning myself. But, the questions are completely opposite. When I'm around guy 1, little things about him really annoy me and I feel like I'm constantly finding faults as to why we shouldn't date. But then afterwards, I feel like I've missed a chance with him and I start thinking about how we're very similar and compatible. When I'm around guy 2, I feel happy and flirty and outgoing. He's really fun to be around. But later, I think back on it and feel intimidated by his confidence and can't help but talk myself out of trying to make it go anywhere because he seems so out of my league. Just thinking out loud, and maybe an outsider might be able to help me sort things out? I have no idea if I should try to pursue anything with either or neither...
CaptJay Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 So, there are 2 guys that are more or less acquaintances that I've had feelings for in the past. I don't know how they feel about me and I'm now questioning myself. But, the questions are completely opposite. When I'm around guy 1, little things about him really annoy me and I feel like I'm constantly finding faults as to why we shouldn't date. But then afterwards, I feel like I've missed a chance with him and I start thinking about how we're very similar and compatible. When I'm around guy 2, I feel happy and flirty and outgoing. He's really fun to be around. But later, I think back on it and feel intimidated by his confidence and can't help but talk myself out of trying to make it go anywhere because he seems so out of my league. Just thinking out loud, and maybe an outsider might be able to help me sort things out? I have no idea if I should try to pursue anything with either or neither... I think that you are having control issues here. You like to get out of your envelope by flirting and having fun with the confident guy, but then back-off because you fear some form of implied control over you through his personality. With the other guy, you see/feel that he is less confident - so you pick on him to see how much he'll let you get away with. You still like him, but you're feeling him out as well. I think you are somewhere in the middle - you want a nice guy who is confident but not overbearing and controlling, but not a weak person who doesn't assert himself as much as the other guy. I think this is very healthy and normal. cj
Author Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Hmm...I hadn't thought about it that way. So based on that logic, neither one is worth pursuing since they're at the extremes?
CaptJay Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Hmm...I hadn't thought about it that way. So based on that logic, neither one is worth pursuing since they're at the extremes? Not really - date 'em both at the same time if you're up for it! What it comes down to is being honest with yourself. If you saw any truth in my opinion above (which is 100% opinion, mind you), then keep it in mind while you're dating so you understand your expectations better. I think, over time, your preferences will be in the middle of those extremes, which is probably a very healthy approach. cj
Author Hopelessromantic3 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Not really - date 'em both at the same time if you're up for it! cj Wow, wouldn't it be nice if I could just up and say "I'll date BOTH of you"? Unfortunately, I have no idea if either of them would even want to date me, and neither has made a move toward becoming more than casual acquaintances...
MrCastle Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 This is moot because you're not dating either one. They may be different when it comes to dating/relationships. I know I'm a different person when it comes to girls I'm dating.
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