wheream_i Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I moved to a new city about six months ago and I'm about ready to start dating. I used to be Mr. Confidence, rarely got turned down and if I did, I took it with a grain of salt. Rejection doesn't phase me one bit. Recently, I developed a cyst on my vocal cords, which has left me with a constantly hoarse voice and sounding like a pubescent teenager at times. Now I've never done the whole striking up a conversation or picking up a woman in a grocery store... til now. I passed a woman in the aisle that was truly beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I started thinking about what I could say to meet her in a normal, friendly way. She was alone with no one else around that would make me more nervous than I already was for trying to "pick up a girl in a grocery store". I noticed she had very pretty tattoos. I have killer visible tattoos! BAM! There's my "in". She walked right past me and I asked, "who does your work? I'm new in town and looking for a new artist." She stopped and gave me some guy's info. We actually talked for a few minutes and it led to me asking a little bit about her. She worked at a salon and even offered me her business card. It had her number and where she worked on it. After a little more small talk, I told her I didn't want to keep her. I shook her hand, held onto it, looked deep into her eyes and said, "you are truly beautiful." And I meant it. She turned bright red, gushed like a school girl, smiled, said thank you and I let her go. I didn't ask her out, I didn't give her my number. But I walked away with her business card. I spent the rest of the day wondering what I should do. I got the bright idea of buying her flowers and taking them to her work. I consulted with a female friend of mine and she gave me her "blessing" saying that she would bowled over if someone showed that they were that interested in her. She suggested staying away from roses because that's too romantic, too soon. The next day I bought orchids and drove to her work. I've never been so nervous about meeting a woman. I pulled up just as soon as she's walking into the building. I get out and meet her in the parking lot, flowers in hand. The look on her face told me I was on the right track. She said she loves orchids. She looked amazing. I told her, "Listen, since yesterday I haven't been able to get you off my mind. I wanted to come here and ask you directly if you'd like to go out sometime." Her exact words were, "Well, I'm happily single but yes, I will go out with you." I drove off feeling so good about everything. I texted her later that day saying, "this is my number, I will call you in a few days when I get back in town." She responded, "Okay, sounds great!" Fast forward to Sunday (yesterday) I called her and left her a message to call me back whenever she's free. No call back at all. I'm feeling a little let down from the high I was on. As of this morning, still hadn't heard from her. I texted her," Good morning! Just wanted to say hello. Are you up for lunch sometime this week?" That was several hours ago. I'm beginning to feel like I'm getting blown off. If that's the case, why not just tell me you're not interested? Why even give me your business card that you know has your number on it? Why not just say you have a bf if you can't tell me no directly? I mentioned the vocal cord issue I have because it's zapped a lot of the confidence I used to have. I used to have a deep, masculine voice. Now I sound like a nervous kid. But seeing her, I couldn't bare to let her just walk away and wonder about her. When I left her a voicemail, my voice cracked a lot and I can imagine what I sounded like. I was going to wait to tell her about my issue when I got a chance to talk to her on the phone. After that phone call and the text this morning, I don't plan to bother her again if I never hear from her. I just feel let down and the wind taken out of sails. Any advice or suggestions? Thank you for reading.
GirlontheLam Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Personally, I am not all that attached to my phone. So if someone texts when I am not ready for phone time, I don's see it until later. Give her a day or 2 before writing her off. You said she works at a salon. Depending on her level of extroversion/introversion she might need a people break for a little while after finishing off a weekend of a work.
Author wheream_i Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 Thank you, Girl On The Lam (great name too)! What do you think about the approach? Like I said, I got one girl's opinion that it was a good way to go, but I'd like to hear other's thoughts on it. I've never done that for someone before. I know my thread is long but I'd like to hear more responses.
Imajerk17 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I'm wondering why you didn't ask for the date while she was in front of you--when you came with the orchids. Then again, she still might have flaked anyway. And you called her only yesterday--give her another day or so. The vocal cord issue isn't a big deal--even if your voice is that bad, just say something like "excuse my voice, vocal cord issues" And what do you have against meeting women in the grocery store? It's one of the best places to do so!
GirlontheLam Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Thank you, Girl On The Lam (great name too)! What do you think about the approach? Like I said, I got one girl's opinion that it was a good way to go, but I'd like to hear other's thoughts on it. I've never done that for someone before. I know my thread is long but I'd like to hear more responses. Good and bad. So if we met in the grocery store, and I gave you my info, and you didn't ask me out then, well you aren't super interested. And then on the second encounter you brought flowers. Good! And we talked again, good! But then you said oh I'll call you later to set something up, it would be a let down. I would worry a bit if you were actually interested, or you know on the fence. For all I know, you just might be a player who is trying to build up a waiting list with nice gestures. If I were in her shoes, If I really liked you, then I would probably be mulling over the best way to respond, because I am not 100% sure you are interested. If I was on the fence, I wouldn't respond since it seems like you are on the fence. I'm wondering why you didn't ask for the date while she was in front of you--when you came with the orchids. Then again, she still might have flaked anyway. And you called her only yesterday--give her another day or so. Scheduling right away is always the best plan! Then it makes your intent super clear. I like you, I want to get to know you, let's get started now.
FitChick Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I think she talked to her friends who said you were a stalker. I think giving her the flowers was a mistake. Too much too soon. You should have booked an appointment to have her cut your hair instead.
Imajerk17 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I think she talked to her friends who said you were a stalker. I think giving her the flowers was a mistake. Too much too soon. You should have booked an appointment to have her cut your hair instead. I was thinking that was a possibility too, as in she talked to her friends after and they told her it was weird. Then again, some women are positively bowled over by these over-the-top gestures--read some of the stories on the forum. Maybe that this girl has those tattoos means that she is emotionally expressive and is into emotionally expressive guys. I don't think her having him cut his hair would have been a good move though. A phone call planning a date would suffice.
Author wheream_i Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Looks like I may have jumped the gun in thinking she blew me off. She finally responded. She apologized for just now getting back with me and suggested dinner instead of lunch! Things are looking up. As far as not asking her out right then at the grocery store, I don't know. Like I said, I feel like that's kind of tacky and too obvious. I think what I did was the right thing. I also think her saying yes to a complete stranger she talked to for five minutes would've been more difficult for her. But a stranger bringing flowers to her at work would be hard to resist.
Author wheream_i Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Oh, also forgot to mention that she doesn't work at a hair salon. She does waxing and stuff. Therefore, I didn't need an appointment.
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