IndyT Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I'm a freshman in college and I was seeing this girl who is still a senior at my HS. We started talking over the summer, and things were going well for the first half. Then we hit some road bumps, there were a couple rumors of her hooking up with other guys. Although she denied them and there is no proof so I tried to stick with it, my HS has an absolutely horrendous reputation for starting BS rumors. After that we just didn't communicate things well, misread actions and it just fell apart and we decided to be friends. I then got to know her better, found out that her father was more or less abusive and had an affair and has called her a f*** up. She has also dated a couple jerks and possibly been cheated on. She told me she recognizes her issues and feels that she doesn't deserve anything better than a guy like her dad (the whole "your parents model your future relationships thing"). Now we are more or less together, nothing is labeled, and she is only an hour away so I see her most weekends. I personally don't mind this because it helps me focus on school work and grades. She recently asked me what we were, and I told her I didn't think I could label things, even though she said she was fine with labeling things. She knows I don't trust her because of everything that happened and I can tell she is really trying to earn it now, constantly texting when she goes to parties, assures me that she only wants to do stuff with me, etc. Although, there are a few things that make me nervous. 1. She has a lot of guy friends. Although, I somewhat believe that this is just because she is a talkative person and just wants the approval of guys in a non sexual way...something she never got from her father. However, I know that when she texts some guys as friends, they read it as more than just friends and start to like her. And she has been very open to me with this, I know the guys she texts and what not and which ones got the wrong message. So idk if maybe I'm too naive about it. 2. That she probably has so little trust in guys and fear that they will all cheat based on her father and past guys, that she is more likely to cheat as a way to ensure she doesn't get cheated on...although I would never do that to her. 3. The rumors, the simple fact is, I honestly don't know if anything did happen over the summer. And if I ever find out anything was true, I'll be gone. Not so much because she hooked up with someone a few months ago, but because she would have lied to my face about it if it was actually true. I know that these issues can go both ways. For example, lead to a girl who is overly clinging and committed to being different than her parents, or a girl who is so afraid and rebellious that she will do anything to avoid being hurt. I like her a lot, but there's just a lot of signs which make me feel that I'll end up getting hurt. W What do you guys think?
2sunny Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 You can't fix those issues for her. It doesn't look like a healthy choice for you. Choose wisely.
Balzac Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 You're all if what~6 weeks into undergrad? Move forward. 1
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