standtall Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 (edited) OP, most older men pull this crap - they're getting to be 50 and all of a sudden realize they haven't left behind anything with their DNA. So, they shop for a young wife, spit out a couple kids, and find themselves divorced by the time they're 55 or so, with a couple of kids under the age of 6. Blech. . Kinda like how "most" women in their mid to late 30's start hearing that biological clock ticking and start looking for a sperm donor paycheck, let themselves go, gain 50lbs while being a total b****, then walk away while finding themselves( another man), and finally soaking the poor soul for spousal and child support. It's funny how gender hate generalizations can go quid pro quo. OP, you're just killing time and you're both using each other. You have told him that you want to get married and have children, but not with him...that speaks volumes and paints a pretty clear picture for you both....let him go. Edited October 3, 2012 by standtall
oldshirt Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 OP, you're just killing time and you're both using each other. You have told him that you want to get married and have children, but not with him...that speaks volumes and paints a pretty clear picture for you both....let him go. Yeah really. I'm not sure what is scummier, a 38 year old man hustling a 21 year old with small children to be a fu(k-trophy/bedwarmer or a 28 year old using a 45 year old man as a sugar daddy and "place holder" to put a roof over her head and provide for her children untill Mr Right comes along so she can dump him then. I guess they both deserve each other:sick: 1
Author How2fixit Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Yeah really. I'm not sure what is scummier, a 38 year old man hustling a 21 year old with small children to be a fu(k-trophy/bedwarmer or a 28 year old using a 45 year old man as a sugar daddy and "place holder" to put a roof over her head and provide for her children untill Mr Right comes along so she can dump him then. I guess they both deserve each other:sick: Neither of us have children...
Toodamnpragmatic Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Neither of us have children... Boy you're missing the point. A 38 year old should not be pursuing a 21 year old and at 28 years old you shouldn't be using a 45 year old as a sugar daddy until someone you want to marry and have kids with comes along. Every time on LS when a woman posts about her "cradle robbing" boyfriend it is always the same as she explains how mature and smart she is, and that they are perfect together and ignores all the damage the age difference created in the relationship. Quite comical if not so sad......
angie2443 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 What the fu*k were you doing with him for seven years if you had no interest in marrying him?!!?!?!!? Wow! Why do you take this so personally? You don't know what their relationship was like for those seven years. Could it be that he wasn't thinking of getting married until he hit a certain age and got scared? Are you trying to guilt her into bieng with someone for the rest of her life? This guy is oooooooooooooooooooooooooooold! She may love him and decide to give the rest of her life to him, but I don't think she would be fair to herself if she did this. If she was him since she was 21, she lost those years that are meant for self exploration. She has not had the experience of having a relationship with anyone else. IMO, this is not good. This 38 year old man (back then) should have had the decency to let the 21 year old experience life some before getting into an exclusive relationship with her. Another thing for her to consider, having kids can be exhausting. I know everyone loves to say that they feel much younger than their years, age is just a number, etc., but the reality is, this old man is going to be raising kids with her. She'll be doing most of the work as his body gives out year by year. Also, age does affect male sperm. This doesn't mean it will turn out bad, just that the chances go up. These are important things for her to consider as she makes this choice that will be with her for the rest of her life.
Author How2fixit Posted October 4, 2012 Author Posted October 4, 2012 We fight, we don't always see eye to eye. We have normal problems like everyone else. Our just might be a little different because of our ages. We had a long talk, he admitted that he didn't want this before we went to my sister's house. He saw how happy she was and how good her kids are so he wants all that with me... He did get worried when he realized he's the only one of his friends without kids (he was married for 6 months when he was a kid). He wants a baby that can be all his. We talked about when I wanted to get married, he said he'll never forgive himself for letting that opportunity pass him by. We think it would be good to do couples counseling. Has anyone had any experience with it?
Cb3657 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 I really hope what you expressed earlier about him being a placeholder is not a reflection of your true feelings because if it is I really don't know what you are trying to save. If you really feel that way then free yourself and him from this, I know you are trying to spare the feelings of someone you loved but this just prolongs the pain. How long will it be now before one of you finds someone else, your both wanting different things. In your case it seems you are looking for a better partner not just a different relationship state. Conselling is not relationship glue it cannot make you want different things it may clarify your positions and if it does this and you were serious in your earlier comments then the consuling will just accelerate your breakup and devesate him more.
strongnrelaxed Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 What the fu*k were you doing with him for seven years if you had no interest in marrying him?!!?!?!!? Somedude - Look up "hypogamy".
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