TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I'm starting to think of my ex again. This seems to happen every 4 or 5 months and I'm not entirely sure where it comes from. I've accepted I'll always think about her in some way, but I'm happy with my love life finally. I've just celebrated a year anniversary with a wonderful girl who I love so much and who I share such a closeness with. I really don't want to be with anybody else. However, and this is the very first time I've addressed this on here, there's a sexuality about my ex I miss. She was a very sensual person with a bit of an edge to her and I did get off on that, whereas my current is just about the nicest person I've ever met and is quite timid at times. Being with my ex gave me a thrill I haven't really had since and I realise now I miss her for that, even if the thrill that made her so unpredictable and fun was the same thing that came between us. I guess you can't have everything you want.
Regrets58 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Hmmm my this struck a chord with me! My ex sounds very similar.Never knew what I was going to get when I saw her. Could range from a big hug and kiss to come in and shut the f'ing door. I'm pretty sensitive and thin skinned,she said the very first thing that came into her mind.Looking back,we were far from compatible. Hell she was exciting though,what a roller coaster ride. Now with someone calmer,nicer more predictable. Still nostalgic for her edgy ways at times,can't figure it out!
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 Hmmm my this struck a chord with me! My ex sounds very similar.Never knew what I was going to get when I saw her. Could range from a big hug and kiss to come in and shut the f'ing door. I'm pretty sensitive and thin skinned,she said the very first thing that came into her mind.Looking back,we were far from compatible. Hell she was exciting though,what a roller coaster ride. Now with someone calmer,nicer more predictable. Still nostalgic for her edgy ways at times,can't figure it out! First time I met my ex she said I wear my heart too openly on my sleeve. Told me to stop feeling sorry for the things I couldn't change. As with you and yours, she and I were not very compatible. We shared the same sense of humour and that magical, unexplainable chemistry you have when you just click with someone without even having to try. However, she was aloof, unpredictable, openly flirtatious with guys (she admitted she still did it after we got together, "for fun"), and in no way whatsoever maternal. Hell, she couldn't cook. When I stayed at her place she would micro some meals for us. But still, two sides to every coin. I loved things about her and I hated things about her, but why still this nostalgia? It's not like I'm unhappy. In fact, finally I am happy!
Regrets58 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Seems like we are both as baffled as each other! Maybe because of the lows the highs seemed higher? Have to admit when things went well,I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend time with. However the scales went the other way quite often. Perhaps we shall just have to put it down as unexplainable.
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 Seems like we are both as baffled as each other! Maybe because of the lows the highs seemed higher? Have to admit when things went well,I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend time with. However the scales went the other way quite often. Perhaps we shall just have to put it down as unexplainable. I agree the highs were exhilarating at times. I wonder though if there's another, better way of looking at it. For example, I didn't get closure, I'm guessing you didn't either. My closure was spending every day staring at my phone waiting for a text that never came. Each day began as an exciting high because it was full of the possibility that she would reach out. As each hour passed it closed the door on those possibilities, and I would rationalise it in different ways - she's always working till 5, that's why; Oh, she goes to the gym every Wednesday, maybe that's why - perhaps the reason I think of her still is that I never got the goodbye I wanted, perhaps because any meeting between us now would be pregnant with a mixture of anger and regret. I think the reason I think of her still is because I've never given up hope of one day telling her just how she ripped my heart out and left me broken and drunken most nights.
Regrets58 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Seems more complicated for you,have to admit. Saw a lot of my ex after bu and we talked about why she ended it. Think what perplexes me is why I still think about this edgy,difficult woman.She could be critical,controlling and often said completely inappropriate things. Could be lovely too and it was so so good when she was. I have never met anyone like her and will never forget her. My new lady is a joy to be around,I feel so relaxed and happy with her. The ex is still crawling around my mind though,defies belief really. I hope we can both see an end to this soon.
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Seems more complicated for you,have to admit. Saw a lot of my ex after bu and we talked about why she ended it. Think what perplexes me is why I still think about this edgy,difficult woman.She could be critical,controlling and often said completely inappropriate things. Could be lovely too and it was so so good when she was. I have never met anyone like her and will never forget her. My new lady is a joy to be around,I feel so relaxed and happy with her. The ex is still crawling around my mind though,defies belief really. I hope we can both see an end to this soon. Ah, I see. At least you were given closure. My ex broke up with me and after a very messy 2 month long break up we simply broke off all contact. That was my fault, I'll admit. She wanted to "stay in touch" but I refused the offer because she would not talk about our relationship and a big part of me suspected she was doing it to alleviate her own (possible) guilt or at least her part in the break up. I'm sure I feel like this because I want to speak to her and realise that thrill of being back in contact and trying to get the answers I've always wanted. I can't say why you feel how you do, perhaps a part of you misses that excitement, but if you are with someone you love, albeit someone less adventurous, you should keep that, and cherish it. Excitement fades away after a while. If you're not left with strong companionship and love after it, you're losing out on the thing that's most important of all.
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