Anna84 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I feel like a dick writing this down, analysing it, asking for opinions, but I feel like it helps. Sorry for the bore, I hope it doesn't come across too vague!! Would really appreciate some opnions I've started going out with this guy since 1 month. Somewhere in between he went on holiday for 3/4 days, immediately texted me after he came back, asking me out on a third date. After the third date, about 1,5 week ago, I went on holiday with my friends. He'd been whatsapping me every day, during the whole day, from date 1 till the moment I went on holiday. On the third date, he came back home with me because I had to get up in the middle of the night to catch my flight and was worried I wouldn't wake up as I'd been drinking during the date (I'll explain; I hate flying with a passion, it's gotten to the point that I can hardly get on the plane.. for this reason I thought I might as well go on the date as I won't be able to sleep the night before the flight, and who knows: getting pissed might help calm me down - indeed it did). -anyway, we didn't go all the way, we did everything but the act. That morning I left and didn't contact him while on holiday, was too busy having fun. I didn't miss him while away, but as soon as I came back I did send him a text asking him how he was. I found out that he'd whatsapped me the day before, asking me if I was back already. So whatsapping the whole day to the point that it became tiresome and I couldn't really see what he meant/misunderstandings (that's the problem with chatting, that's also why I hate it.) So I told him I was tired of whatsapping, didn't like it very much, and maybe we should schedule something instead if he fancied it, which turned the 4th date in my initiative. He said, yeah, where and when? So we fixed the date for last saturday, as opposed to the other dates a DAY time activity without alcohol. He completely stopped whatsapping/texting me after this day (sooo from one extreme to the other, while I just meant tone it down a bit). I texted him the night before asking him if we were still on, he replied yes. We set off at twelve, finished 7 hours later, he paid (we'd split the bills all past dates, he's got a good job, I'm a student). During the date he asked me things about my holiday, asking me who the "dude" was on the photo (a friend of mine who I visited), and that he didn't think he was that good looking. At the end of the date he kissed me twice, saying if I could manage to do a successful pull-up (referring to the day time activity of that date - I can't do pull-ups), I would be allowed to see his house. Then he went his way and I went mine, haven't heard anything since. And yeah, it's monday morning now, and the date was last saterday, but this guy'd been whatsapping me EVERY day the WHOLE day till I told him I'd rather set up an appointment than blabber on whatsapp... what's the deal, is the ball at my court? Is he simply not interested anymore? should I just sit back and wait, or ask him what's going on?
phineas Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 If I went that far sexually with a woman I was seeing the night before her vacation & she was "having too much fun" to bother contacting me while she visiting her "guy friend" I'd act the same way also. Except I probably wouldn't of wasted an entire Sat or money on the woman like he did. He probably thinks you swapped spit with him then swapped spit with the other guy & is now. feeling ick. and i'm confused, how many times did you go on vacation since you've met him?
Author Anna84 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 he went once, and i went once, but he didn't contact me either when he was away. i don't want to come across as too clingy, so thats why I decided not to text him while i was away myself. i also told him i've known this guy for 3 years and he's just a friend... should i make the next move again? I initiated the last date.. thanks for your opinion btw
CaptJay Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 he went once, and i went once, but he didn't contact me either when he was away. i don't want to come across as too clingy, so thats why I decided not to text him while i was away myself. i also told him i've known this guy for 3 years and he's just a friend... should i make the next move again? I initiated the last date.. thanks for your opinion btw You said that you didn't text him while you were away because you were having "too busy having fun," and that you didn't think about him while you were away. But here, you said that you didn't want to come across as being too clingy, and that you decided not to text him vs. just going with the flow and not texting because of being busy. You need to determine which one it is, and have to be honest with yourself about the reasons.
Author Anna84 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 alright, well it's both. But that doesn't change anything, right? I think its healthy not to think too much of the guy when youre on holiday having fun with friends (fun as in, nothing funny with other guys) for 4 days.
2sunny Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 It may be more useful to train him to CALL you - texting minimizes the value of communication. If he won't call - then he's not willing to make the effort for you.
CaptJay Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 alright, well it's both. But that doesn't change anything, right? I think its healthy not to think too much of the guy when youre on holiday having fun with friends (fun as in, nothing funny with other guys) for 4 days. No, it doesn't really change anything provided you are being honest with yourself on your true feelings.
phineas Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 he went once, and i went once, but he didn't contact me either when he was away. i don't want to come across as too clingy, so thats why I decided not to text him while i was away myself. i also told him i've known this guy for 3 years and he's just a friend... should i make the next move again? I initiated the last date.. thanks for your opinion btw You and he vacationed at different stages. It isn't the same. And yes he probably thinks you aren't all that into him. I personally never go backwards with a woman. If we did everything "BUT" before she went on vacation then after don't wind up at someone's place naked i'd assume she hooked up on vacation & doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. I mean if I went that far with a woman & stopped for a specific reason, the only time their not clawing at my zipper is because they just wern't all that into me. I'd also keep in my mind that you may call those other guys "friends", but weren't you & he also "friends" not too long ago?
Mrlonelyone Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 The thing is, your relationship is really young. Three or four dates can seem like a big thing but let's be honest it isn't. Going for 1.5 weeks without contact could feel just like being broken up with. Try contacting him, by calling, or in person one more time. If he's not into you after that call it a day.
Frank13 Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 The thing is, your relationship is really young. Mrlonelyone, not to be rude and I can't PM you to tell you this, but I don't read your posts because your avatar of a closeup of an eye is gross and creepy. As soon as I see it I scroll past it.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 Mrlonelyone, not to be rude and I can't PM you to tell you this, but I don't read your posts because your avatar of a closeup of an eye is gross and creepy. As soon as I see it I scroll past it. Ha, doesn't bother me. I guess his eye is just too intense for you.. lol
Eddie Edirol Posted October 4, 2012 Posted October 4, 2012 OP, I think he probably thinks youre not that into him since you told him you didnt want to hear from him as much, especially since it was just after your vacation, with pictures of "just a friend". Women lie about these things, and he has to protect himself. So the ball is in your court. You have to start initiating everything so you can undo all the misconceptions you might have given him....if you really want to keep this going. If he is too paranoid and doesnt want to believe you are into him, then thats his problem and you can bail.
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