dannykeyz831 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here (a month i think) but thought I'd share a bit of what's happened these last few days. Well basically the ex gf (who dumped me) has been texting and calling me quite often. She first called me up on wednesday to see how I was doing and I did what I'm suppose to do and act indifferent towards her. Ever since that day, she's been texting quite frequently and the lil short messages have turned into those huge blocks of text about our past relationship and how we had some good times. I just keep my messages short and simple but then she calls me a lil while ago telling me how I'm different now and that I don't care about her. That really pissed me off considering she had a guy set up before she dumped me. I just told her to call me tomorrow because I had to wake up early. She then sends me a text saying that if she could speak to me once more. I said yes so then she calls me and starts telling me how she misses me and that's its been hard on her lately because she can't seem to let me go. What I'm thinking is that her rebound isn't working out or he got tired of her and dumped her. I know she will be calling me again soon but don't really know what else to say to her. She's way too emotional right now and I just don't wanna deal with it. I've been feeling good lately but she's just making things way too complicated. What do you think I should do. Block her, ignore her calls? 1
Liz2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 It depends if you DO want her back, if you do you have to do some kinda LC with her. You can set the boundaries, i.e. tell her you're there for her but not on the emotional stuff? For that you recommend she goes to her girlfriends? And then you can be there in other ways...or when she's 'ready'. Or say that you think she needs a month or two to gather herself and then you can see? If she really wants you, you'll be able to set the boundaries. Wow, some of us would love this day to come!!! Well done, I guess you handled yourself good during the BU 1
Author dannykeyz831 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 It depends if you DO want her back, if you do you have to do some kinda LC with her. You can set the boundaries, i.e. tell her you're there for her but not on the emotional stuff? For that you recommend she goes to her girlfriends? And then you can be there in other ways...or when she's 'ready'. Or say that you think she needs a month or two to gather herself and then you can see? If she really wants you, you'll be able to set the boundaries. Wow, some of us would love this day to come!!! Well done, I guess you handled yourself good during the BU I kinda do want her back but at the same time don't. However, this time around I don't really feel like I need to rush thing for fear of not hearing from her again. I guess I've learned a lot from our past breakups. I'll just have to let her know what she needs to do and what I need to do in order for things to not get all weird again. By the way my ex gf's name is Liz too...oh the irony lol
curiouslyhuman Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 The only reason you are posting here is because you are confused on what to do. The only reason you are confused is because you care and most probably still love. I dont think you want to ignore her calls, you like it. You like the fact that after all the pain and suffering, here she is knocking at your door telling you all the things u wanna hear and have been wanting to hear all this time. I know this because we've all been there. This is the time for you too truly think about what you want with this girl and how committed you are to trying again with her. Obviously (although i have not read your previous posts), you were not the one who wanted to sever the relationship, she was. This is a thinker my friend because whatever happened in the past, whatever grounds she found in your character/lifestyle that she disliked have probably not dissipated from the table. Not because they are wrong, but because you are you, and thats more than fine. Make sure, whatever steps you take, they are well thought out and protect numero uno... you! Its a hard and difficult choice to go back to someone who thought u werent good enough for them, for whatever reason that may be, just remember you come first this time, and for a long time good luck! 2
Tree_Salmon Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I kinda do want her back but at the same time don't. However, this time around I don't really feel like I need to rush thing for fear of not hearing from her again. I guess I've learned a lot from our past breakups. I'll just have to let her know what she needs to do and what I need to do in order for things to not get all weird again. By the way my ex gf's name is Liz too...oh the irony lol I've been at this point a few times. It's hard for me to say what you should do because every time i took her back it got even worse since she hadnt changed at all. in fact, she got worse. But if she has changed for the better and is willing to live with the boundaries you set then I would say give it a shot. But my gut always says let this s**t go and move on. Nothing good has come of a reconciliation like this one, for me at least. All i can base it on is my experiences. Either way take it slow. 3
Author dannykeyz831 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 I really appreciate everyone's input. Well I decided to call her up a little while ago and she admitted of not having the feelings with her bf that she did with me. Told me that even though they see each other almost everyday, she feels like they don't even know each other and that the chemistry just isnt there between them. I know her very well and she hates being alone so I think that's really the only reason she's with him. She just sounds like she's not over me at all. We spoke for about 2 hours and most of the conversation was just about how she misses everything we did together and how we knew each other like no other. Rest assured, I will be on my guard because there's a reason that we both broke up and at this point I don't really have my hopes up because it always seems like when I do, It comes to bite me in the ass. I really don't know how to continue this with her considering she has a bf. Some of the things she told me just made me a bit vulnerable. She's got me thinking about us now. What the heck am I suppose to do? I'm just confused right now. Part of me wishes I could be with her but the other part of me says to back off, sigh 1
magz Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Oh, you might need to think about it more...whether to continue talking with her....you guys need a conversation....
curiouslyhuman Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I really appreciate everyone's input. Well I decided to call her up a little while ago and she admitted of not having the feelings with her bf that she did with me. Told me that even though they see each other almost everyday, she feels like they don't even know each other and that the chemistry just isnt there between them. I know her very well and she hates being alone so I think that's really the only reason she's with him. She just sounds like she's not over me at all. We spoke for about 2 hours and most of the conversation was just about how she misses everything we did together and how we knew each other like no other. Rest assured, I will be on my guard because there's a reason that we both broke up and at this point I don't really have my hopes up because it always seems like when I do, It comes to bite me in the ass. I really don't know how to continue this with her considering she has a bf. Some of the things she told me just made me a bit vulnerable. She's got me thinking about us now. What the heck am I suppose to do? I'm just confused right now. Part of me wishes I could be with her but the other part of me says to back off, sigh Backing off in my opinion is the best route to take. She is the one who left the relationship, shes the one who has another man in her life... She should definately be the one to make the move. You should just sit back and watch the fireworks. If she doesnt press you on for a renewed relationship, then you know chasing after her would have been fruitless. If she does want a renewed relationship, its up to her to take the bold steps and prove it. Remember its all about you for now this round good luck! 1
Liz2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I kinda do want her back but at the same time don't. However, this time around I don't really feel like I need to rush thing for fear of not hearing from her again. I guess I've learned a lot from our past breakups. I'll just have to let her know what she needs to do and what I need to do in order for things to not get all weird again. sounds very sensible, tell her all of that and map it out if she also wants to get back and take it slow etc....communication will be key 1
Author dannykeyz831 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) I was thinking about this whole situation last night and one thing that really bugs the heck out of me is the fact that she will have the best of both worlds if I continue contact with her. She will have the emotional relationship with me and the physical relationship with her bf. It's actually making me very angry right now thinking about it. I'm not gonna tell her to break up with him or anything because that's just childish but I will let her know how I'm feeling about it and It's up to her if she wants to do anything about it. If I don't like her response then I will surely keep my distance because at the end of the day we both know that it was she who broke up with me. Not only that but had a guy lined up already. That's not easy to forget and it will be the fuel to my fire you better believe it. I forgot to mention that she lives 3 hours away from me because of school. Edited October 2, 2012 by dannykeyz831
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