Men getting 'mad' at women for not having sex

[Pompom]

No one should "cave".

But if I were to find myself scared of getting hurt, and waiting ages to feel comfortable around a man I already!! call my boyfriend and consider our relationship intimate and exclusive, and allow his saliva in my mouth (yuckier than sex with a condom I tell you, at least there's no one's goo inside of you) I would start asking myself:

What am I doing?

 

Seriously, what's the difference between a close friendship, and a sexless relationship? How can you demand faithfulness and exclusivity on one hand, but not offer the essence of why such exclusivity is mostly required? "But it's only temporary" only flies when "temporary" doesn't mean "months and months on end". Your insecurities don't get to condemn a horny guy to masturbation while he could be out there enjoying himself. Especially if he's still sticking around, isn't that a sign he's probably kind of trustworthy? Nobody is 100% reliable, and nobody will never hurt you. You have to take risks and make yourself vulnerable if you want to establish genuine and mutual trust.

 

Not saying one should do what one is uncomfortable with, just saying one should question the point and reason of feeling and acting by this discomfort. Personally if I don't feel comfortable with a guy after the first date, I don't feel comfortable at all. My date a guy I'm not entirely comfortable with? Why even be in touch at all? If you make me feel uncomfortable, you are banned from my life.

First impressions are usually a good indicator of how you will further perceive a person. And if I feel comfortable with him right away, why act like I'm not just to see if he sticks around? It's like those trust fall exercises. It's not because someone has the common courtesy of catching you when they know you're dropping where you can easily help them, especially on cue, that this person will be there for you when you actually need them to. But I digress.

 

It's like considering a dog from the shelter and taking him on probation to see if he works out for you. As long as you don't fully adopt him, you don't get to call him yours and you don't get to whine if he charms someone else into adopting him. Likewise, why expect a guy to be faithful if something essential is missing? And like it or not, sex, in an intimate relationship, is essential. If not, be friends and allow him to get his sexual fulfillment elsewhere.

[Anela]

It floors me that in 2012, there are entitled women whom feel the world revolves around them (who aren't that sweet and innocent as they pretend to be, so what's up with that?) who still believe they're entitled to our hearts and commitment just because they have sex with a man. Unbelievable and revolting.

........

 

Who's pretending?

 

I PM'd you the rest. I'm out of this thread.

[TheBigQuestion]

My response to this thread = pretty much what Ninjapajamas said in his most recent post.

 

I too have noticed that very rarely will women on LS ever admit that they did something questionable or wrong when dating or in a relationship (not including the cheating/infidelity subforum, of course). I'm willing to bet that most of the women here have engaged in the exact type of "using" and/or "entitled" behavior that they vociferously criticize men for engaging in. Of course, they have to hide it. It's silly to do that, considering the anonymity afforded by message boards, but once they've created their online personas, they are loathe to do anything to betray it. How would they be able to stay atop their lofty perch and criticize male posters for "entitled" behavior if they reveal that they frequently behave in the same way in sufficiently analogous scenarios? When it comes time to piss upon perfectly reasonable viewpoints as being "entitled," when it comes time to bring out completely inappropriate analogies to "rape culture," of course everyone slinging that nonsense has to turn into Little Miss Innocent.

 

Am I really expected to believe that 90%+ of female LS posters are of the "sugar, spice and everything nice" variety? Well, I don't. You, like most people on Earth, have probably behaved very selfishly or possessed an entitled attitude when in a relationship. Do not accuse others of being "entitled," do not make grand declarations about how men are allowed to feel when encountered with conflict of a sexual nature, without making damn sure that you aren't doing the exact same thing yourself.

[joystickd]

Who's pretending?

 

I PM'd you the rest. I'm out of this thread.

I guess the truth is too much to take.

[TheBigQuestion]

Who's pretending?

 

I PM'd you the rest. I'm out of this thread.

 

Repeat after me.

 

"Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me."

 

Now take a deep breath.

 

You're welcome.

[Imajerk17]

I'm not sure what the women on here are arguing for, to be honest. I don't think any guy on here is advocating date-rape, or saying that he is "entitled" to access to your body. But just as your body is your own, our FEELINGS are our own, and they are what they are. I DO think that the guys on here are saying is that if you do not have sex, then he feels he is getting a raw deal out of it. Are you women saying that we are wrong for feelings this way??

 

This is the best analogy I can think of. You meet a guy. Every time you and he get together, you "hang out" and do something casual, simple and inexpensive. Not too much planning and effort on his part but you are into him so you go along. Then you happen to hear that for the previous girls he dated, he took them on elaborate dates from the beginning. How would that make you feel? Probably not great. I mean, it is his money and you are not entitled to have him spend it on you. But still, when you compare how he acts with you versus how he acted with all of his previous women, it sure is hard for you to feel special to him huh.

 

Something similar is going on for us men. We view sex from you as a barometer of how into us you really are. Or rather, we view how sexual you are with us, **versus how you were with other guys**, as a barometer of how into us you are. If you waited 6 months with the previous guys you dated and we have sex in 2 months, we feel great. If you always slept with the guy on the first date but then you decided to wait 2 months with us, we don't feel great.

 

It works very differently for women, from how it does for men. If you are dating a player who always slept with the girl on the first date but you get him to wait to have sex with you, then you probably scored a coup. If however, a guy is dating a woman who slept with all these guys on the first date and she hasn't had sex with him yet, he will feel like a chump if he finds out. Something for women to think about if they are considering a "wild girl" phase.

 

I realize some women will take offence at this, but I am giving you my honest thoughts and feelings on this, that suspect most other guys on here share.

Edited October 3, 2012 by Imajerk17

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I don't agree with the if you are not having sex part you are just friends. Some people like to take relationships slowly... and I dont kiss people I am just friends with.

 

I agree with you Eleanorhurting. To say that intimacy can only be developed through sex shows a limited understanding of all the amazing facets and corners people are capable of with one another. I also think that you will not enjoy the entire human experience of sex and relationships if you really think that the only thing that makes you more than friends is sex.

 

xxoo

There is no reason to have sex with a partner for the first time if you are not ready.

 

If he chooses not to wait for you to be ready, good information. Move on.

 

But guys--plenty of women do feel sexual attraction, and desire sex, but need some time to build trust, especially if you were near strangers before beginning to date. Is that really difficult to understand?

 

On the flip side, why don't you guys need to build trust first?

 

This I just loved. Great post xxoo.

 

I understand guys want to be close to the woman their dating and experience sex with her but to get frustrated at her if she isn't ready the minute you are isn't fair either.

 

TG1

Well I am a guy and I will say this, that all men we have needs and those needs definitely need to be fulfilled because let's just say we aren't being fulfilled by our women, that is when we tend to look elsewhere which leads to us cheating due to sexual frustration because women love to play with our minds but at the same time I can sort of understand from the female perspective

 

TG1, I think most women understand that men have needs. But women have needs too. What happens when what a woman needs might conflict with what a man needs? Some might say that they aren't right for each other. Or maybe it requires some compromising. Whenever I hear guys say "men have needs", my fear is that by saying this, men forget that women also have needs even if they are different and that her needs aren't less important than his. And that sometimes a woman needs time to build some trust and sincere intimacy that goes beyond sexual feelings first.

 

Lastly, great comments from threebyfate. It really is disturbing to me to see some men here display actual anger and bitterness if a woman made sexual choices about her own body that she doesn't perform on command for him.

 

I am not a virgin. Doesn't mean that I me wanting to take some time to build some intimacy with someone and wait to have sex with him makes me a hypocrite. Also, I had casual sex once. Does that mean that I need to keep having casual sex with any guy that wants it with me? Does that mean I need to lay down and spread my legs as soon as I open the front door for the guy I am currently seeing?

 

It seems to me that a scarey amount of men here think that a woman's body belongs to him and his needs and not her.

[joystickd]

I agree with you Eleanorhurting. To say that intimacy can only be developed through sex shows a limited understanding of all the amazing facets and corners people are capable of with one another. I also think that you will not enjoy the entire human experience of sex and relationships if you really think that the only thing that makes you more than friends is sex.

 

 

 

This I just loved. Great post xxoo.

 

I understand guys want to be close to the woman their dating and experience sex with her but to get frustrated at her if she isn't ready the minute you are isn't fair either.

 

 

 

TG1, I think most women understand that men have needs. But women have needs too. What happens when what a woman needs might conflict with what a man needs? Some might say that they aren't right for each other. Or maybe it requires some compromising. Whenever I hear guys say "men have needs", my fear is that by saying this, men forget that women also have needs even if they are different and that her needs aren't less important than his. And that sometimes a woman needs time to build some trust and sincere intimacy that goes beyond sexual feelings first.

 

Lastly, great comments from threebyfate. It really is disturbing to me to see some men here display actual anger and bitterness if a woman made sexual choices about her own body that she doesn't perform on command for him.

 

I am not a virgin. Doesn't mean that I me wanting to take some time to build some intimacy with someone and wait to have sex with him makes me a hypocrite. Also, I had casual sex once. Does that mean that I need to keep having casual sex with any guy that wants it with me? Does that mean I need to lay down and spread my legs as soon as I open the front door for the guy I am currently seeing?

 

It seems to me that a scarey amount of men here think that a woman's body belongs to him and his needs and not her.

The overexaggeration by fringe females

[Anela]

Repeat after me.

 

"Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me. Not everything is about me."

 

Now take a deep breath.

 

You're welcome.

 

I'm well aware of that. Do you know the sexual history of every woman in this thread, on this site, or those that you're newly dating? Even then, if a woman suddenly doesn't feel so comfortable for whatever reason, you don't get to say that she should put out, just because she slept with another guy (or more than one) early on. You do get the option to move on.

 

I took my own stuff privately, because I didn't want to post anything more on this thread; that's all.

[Anela]

I guess the truth is too much to take.

 

For whom?

 

..

[joystickd]

For whom?

 

..

 

You you you

[TheBigQuestion]

 

 

 

So far no woman has answered my question on why her feelings are more important than his. Why is his choice to move on if things aren't going according to his timetable any less valid than her choice to wait x amount of time before having sex?

 

The real question to ask is, "Why are the man's feelings and reactions less valid or important than the woman's ability to alter her relationship/sexual timetables as she sees fit?" No one has answered it, because the answer is obvious and it goes against all the wailing that has already happened in this thread.

[xxoo]

I DO think that the guys on here are saying is that if you do not have sex, then he feels he is getting a raw deal out of it. Are you women saying that we are wrong for feelings this way??

 

It isn't wrong to have feelings, but the guy may be making wrong assumptions.

 

The woman is also (presumably) spending time with the man, getting to know the man, without the extra thrill of sex. When a woman is into a guy, it is hard to go slow and let things unfold--but we do because we want to have a solid beginning.

 

If you look at it from that perspective, does the man get the raw deal?

 

Something similar is going on for us men. We view sex from you as a barometer of how into us you really are. Or rather, we view how sexual you are with us, **versus how you were with other guys**, as a barometer of how into us you are. If you waited 6 months with the previous guys you dated and we have sex in 2 months, we feel great. If you always slept with the guy on the first date but then you decided to wait 2 months with us, we don't feel great.

 

It works very differently for women, from how it does for men. If you are dating a player who always slept with the girl on the first date but you get him to wait to have sex with you, then you probably scored a coup. If however, a guy is dating a woman who slept with all these guys on the first date and she hasn't had sex with him yet, he will feel like a chump if he finds out. Something for women to think about if they are considering a "wild girl" phase.

 

I hear this, and I do think that women are making a mistake by sleeping with men who are not relationship material very quickly, but then intentionally making the good guys wait so that they don't look like a "slut". I can't really wrap my head around that, and I'm a woman.

 

Women need to understand what you are saying here--that men will take a delay as a sign that she is not so into him. Women need to make sure they acknowledge that, and make their interest very clear in other ways if they are not ready to have sex.

 

Men need to understand what women are saying here--that women will often delay more when they really like a guy. Women worry about getting hurt more when they really like a guy, so they are more cautious. Also, women worry about being judged more when they really like a guy. Men could acknowledge that, too.

 

What is really missing in this conversation, on both sides, is trust. And probably open communication, too, but open communication requires trust.

[verhrzn]

I am also a little confused about the assumption that all girls sleep around. Are we talking about situations where the guy knows his girlfriend had casual sex? What if she only did it once, and in all of her other relationships she waited? What if it was a "teenage phase," and since then she has kept sex to a strictly-relationship-after-a-month-of-being-exclusive only arrangement?

 

In these scenarios where the girl is withholding sex, does the guy know about her sexual history, or is he just assuming? Has the guy asked her why? If she says," I had casual sex before, and got burned, thus I want to wait to make sure I can trust you," is that such an awful thing? Isn't it a good thing if a girl has "learned her lesson" and isn't just sleeping with any guy who comes a-calling?

 

Putting aside the whole issue that it's her body, and thus she has a right to do with it what she wants, how in the world do the guys getting mad have such an intimate knowledge of her sexual past?

[joystickd]

I'm well aware of that. Do you know the sexual history of every woman in this thread, on this site, or those that you're newly dating? Even then, if a woman suddenly doesn't feel so comfortable for whatever reason, you don't get to say that she should put out, just because she slept with another guy (or more than one) early on. You do get the option to move on.

 

I took my own stuff privately, because I didn't want to post anything more on this thread; that's all.

 

Whatever. Save us the BS

[threebyfate]

For whom?

 

..

As a thought Anela, when someone's deliberately attempting to evoke an emotional response through baiting, it's worth your while to ignore the person.

 

This thread is interesting since it's a study in how desperately tied to ego, sex is for some guys and how it's the ultimate goal. In viewing sex from this perspective, it's the acquisitional mindset where women as purveyors of sex, become less than human. Note how the goal is "sex", instead of connecting with another human being?

 

Ladies, this is fantastic material for you to read. If you take sex off the table and the guy sticks around because he views you as more than an object, enjoying connecting with another human being, hold on tight to this type of man because he's a winner!!

[joystickd]

No matter what is said its inconsisyency on the womans part but thats expected when you are guided by emotion.

[verhrzn]

No matter what is said its inconsisyency on the womans part but thats expected when you are guided by emotion.

 

Is there not inconsistency on the man's side when he sleeps with a girl he has no intention of dating? If sex is so fundamental to a man's bonding process, why is he sleeping with girls he has no intent of bonding with? Why can a guy be inconsistent (sleep with girls but only date a few) but girls cannot be inconsistent?

[joystickd]

It isn't wrong to have feelings, but the guy may be making wrong assumptions.

 

The woman is also (presumably) spending time with the man, getting to know the man, without the extra thrill of sex. When a woman is into a guy, it is hard to go slow and let things unfold--but we do because we want to have a solid beginning.

 

If you look at it from that perspective, does the man get the raw deal?

 

 

 

I hear this, and I do think that women are making a mistake by sleeping with men who are not relationship material very quickly, but then intentionally making the good guys wait so that they don't look like a "slut". I can't really wrap my head around that, and I'm a woman.

 

Women need to understand what you are saying here--that men will take a delay as a sign that she is not so into him. Women need to make sure they acknowledge that, and make their interest very clear in other ways if they are not ready to have sex.

 

Men need to understand what women are saying here--that women will often delay more when they really like a guy. Women worry about getting hurt more when they really like a guy, so they are more cautious. Also, women worry about being judged more when they really like a guy. Men could acknowledge that, too.

 

What is really missing in this conversation, on both sides, is trust. And probably open communication, too, but open communication requires trust.

 

Guys overall dont have at problem with waiting for a period of time but when its seen one didnt have to wait then it can be a problem it can be seen as inconsistent. No matter what you say that is what the perception is.

[kaylan]

I'm not sure what the women on here are arguing for, to be honest. I don't think any guy on here is advocating date-rape, or saying that he is "entitled" to access to your body. But just as your body is your own, our FEELINGS are our own, and they are what they are. I DO think that the guys on here are saying is that if you do not have sex, then he feels he is getting a raw deal out of it. Are you women saying that we are wrong for feelings this way??

 

This is the best analogy I can think of. You meet a guy. Every time you and he get together, you "hang out" and do something casual, simple and inexpensive. Not too much planning and effort on his part but you are into him so you go along. Then you happen to hear that for the previous girls he dated, he took them on elaborate dates from the beginning. How would that make you feel? Probably not great. I mean, it is his money and you are not entitled to have him spend it on you. But still, when you compare how he acts with you versus how he acted with all of his previous women, it sure is hard for you to feel special to him huh.

 

Something similar is going on for us men. We view sex from you as a barometer of how into us you really are. Or rather, we view how sexual you are with us, **versus how you were with other guys**, as a barometer of how into us you are. If you waited 6 months with the previous guys you dated and we have sex in 2 months, we feel great. If you always slept with the guy on the first date but then you decided to wait 2 months with us, we don't feel great.

 

It works very differently for women, from how it does for men. If you are dating a player who always slept with the girl on the first date but you get him to wait to have sex with you, then you probably scored a coup. If however, a guy is dating a woman who slept with all these guys on the first date and she hasn't had sex with him yet, he will feel like a chump if he finds out. Something for women to think about if they are considering a "wild girl" phase.

 

I realize some women will take offence at this, but I am giving you my honest thoughts and feelings on this, that suspect most other guys on here share.

I agree with all of this.

 

But I must say again, either I just pick women who match me well, or it really seems to me that the guys who get wait-listed are simply men who dont get their women revved up early on.

 

Ive never gone more than 3 weeks without something sexual happening. And in all but 1 case, we were already having intercourse by the 3rd week. And Im not sleeping with super skanks or anything.

I agree with you Eleanorhurting. To say that intimacy can only be developed through sex shows a limited understanding of all the amazing facets and corners people are capable of with one another. I also think that you will not enjoy the entire human experience of sex and relationships if you really think that the only thing that makes you more than friends is sex.

Intimacy is of course not only developed through sex. However, I believe sex builds the greatest intimacy, or that it can be seen as a total expression of intimacy.

 

But yes, sex is what makes people more than friends. I have best friends, and Ive had close female friends. These were chick friends I could tell many things to, women I could lay down with and watch a movie with. But what separates our relationship from friendship and romanticism is whether or not we kiss and decide to cultivate any sort of sexual feelings.

Edited October 3, 2012 by kaylan

[GoodOnPaper]

In these scenarios where the girl is withholding sex, does the guy know about her sexual history, or is he just assuming? Has the guy asked her why? If she says," I had casual sex before, and got burned, thus I want to wait to make sure I can trust you," is that such an awful thing? Isn't it a good thing if a girl has "learned her lesson" and isn't just sleeping with any guy who comes a-calling?

 

Putting aside the whole issue that it's her body, and thus she has a right to do with it what she wants, how in the world do the guys getting mad have such an intimate knowledge of her sexual past?

 

They wouldn't . . . IF the waiting didn't seem out of sync with the girl's character (and one or two tries at casual sex in the past that the girl didn't like isn't going to change her character) or out of sync with the development of the relationship.

 

I wonder if some of us are picturing different scenarios in this thread. I'm picturing an "out of sync" scenario where the woman is placing a seemingly arbitrary hold on sex even when it would seem that the natural relationship development should be able to handle it. Are others envisioning just a little more slower development of the relationship in general? At least to me, these two situations would be very different and "waiting" would be much less of an issue in the latter.

[fishtaco]

I can see your point about mixed signals, possibly intentionally so, although I don't generally think that is what women intend when dating a new man.

 

By nature of mixed signals, you cannot tell what the intent was. If you could, then it wouldn't be mixed signals would it? My point was, regardless of what the intent was, it's not a stretch of imagination that the recipient of said mix signal would be unhappy about it. And some may choose to get mad as a response.

 

Most, though, I disagree with the use of the word "compromise" in the bolded sentence. I do think there is a place for compromise in a sexual relationship, and I agree that dating should be a cooperative effort. But I disagree that timing for moving to a sexual relationship should be a compromise or happy medium. Both people should have a resounding "yes!"

 

Sure, but I was talking about in general.

 

But since you're using my words to specifically talk about sex, then let's do it. Yes there are things that cannot be compromised, but how about having a little tolerance/understanding for the other side? That's too much to ask too?

 

So being that the timing cannot be compromised, then it's my way or the highway? And that's perfectly fine with me. I don't have a problem with it. But then no one is allowed to have a problem with it. The guy bails out because she didn't put out fast enough. Hey, it's his way or the highway. You can't point a finger at him and say he sucks, because he's doing exactly the same thing you are... there is only one way, your own, period, end of story. If these are the rules then don't complain.

 

Although this is a tangent of what I was trying to talk about. My main point was about mixed signals. They are everywhere in dating. The intent cannot be discovered unless the person comes clean. And it's really easy to not come clean, just like in my example where I was just "being friendly". Smoke and mirrors, what's new right?

 

When you play, regardless of what your intent was, have the decency deal with the resulting consequences, whether you are the one getting mad, or you are the one complaining about people getting mad. Don't like it, that's fine, don't play.

[kaylan]

Is there not inconsistency on the man's side when he sleeps with a girl he has no intention of dating? If sex is so fundamental to a man's bonding process, why is he sleeping with girls he has no intent of bonding with? Why can a guy be inconsistent (sleep with girls but only date a few) but girls cannot be inconsistent?

Who says sex have to always lead to relationships. Both men and women seek sex without relationships. Its only a problem when 2 people want different things. Being honest stop the problem and people can go find those who dont want relationships.

 

Like for example...at this point in my life, I wouldnt sleep with you Verhzn because I know you are more relationship oriented. However Id gladly have a fling with TigressA because I know shes ok with having a casual sexual relationship.

 

When 2 people dont sync up, if either person knows this to be the case, its up to them to back off. Ive had girls tell me theyre ok with keeping things casual, but were actually lying about being ok. A lot of girls will do this to a guy, hoping he will come around...and yet the guy will still look like the user bad guy. However, if my teens and 20s have taught me anything so far, is that many girls will use us boys for sex, but as previously stated, these women wont be super honest about what they actually did.

 

And we all know people view women using men, much different than they view men using women for sex. All because most folks buy into stupid generalizations about women always wanting emotional stuff, and guys always wanting physical stuff. When in reality plenty of guys, like myself, also want an emotional connection...even if a relationship doesnt follow. The same way that many women can enjoy a physical connection sans the emotional aspects, even though they enjoy emotions.

Edited October 3, 2012 by kaylan

[joystickd]

A lot of the frustration with this subject and other things regarding women is their duplicitous nature in regards to dating and sex. Women in general go on what they feel. This is why one won't have to wait and another will. This for an inexperienced guy can be frustrating as hell because feelings are inconsistent. Mixed messages are sent out by women because of them guided by emotions. We see it all the time ex the complaints of frustrated guys that are deemed too nice see women with men who they see are jerks, this issue here sex. The thing is men have to push for sex or we are not deemed as desirable so its a damned if we do and damned if we don't situation. There is this notion that waiting will "test" the man. I have known men and I have played the role and waited. In a sense waiting can be problematic for this one reason. No matter how long we wait can we really get to know someone or know their true intentions. In essence its not about waiting but asking the right questions. For example if I am a having sex with more than one woman or one woman its not a problem to wait because I'm having sex with someone. This guy can get in sync with your time table and create the illusion of compatibility just for the sake of having sex with you, but if a woman asked the right thought provoking questions then she could learn what he is about.

 

This is why I encourage guys to learn about attraction and tapping into women's emotions because it's all talk. When you as a man hit the right buttons all the time tables and standards go out the window. We see the emotional nature at work now. Women misinterpreting what we say and over exaggerating it to "entitlement". When the reality is no one has stated anything that suggested or implied entitlement.

 

Men take note the same woman that will say this: Ladies, this is fantastic material for you to read. If you take sex off the table and the guy sticks around because he views you as more than an object, enjoying connecting with another human being, hold on tight to this type of man because he's a winner!!

 

They will meet a man that will hit all the right emotional triggers and she will drop the panties ASAP and convince herself that he is a winner.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

So far no woman has answered my question on why her feelings are more important than his. Why is his choice to move on if things aren't going according to his timetable any less valid than her choice to wait x amount of time before having sex?

 

Huh? Who said a woman's feelings were "more important"?

 

People "move on" for a million different reasons. Sometimes the reason will be sex. That is just a given.

 

Relationships usually come in stages that build upon each other. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman wanting to wait. This does not mean she isn't into a guy or that she is playing head games or that she is banging every other man but him.

 

 

No, but you're likewise not entitled to any man sticking around and adhering to your timetable.

 

In all relationships compromise is required. Whether it's a compromise about sex or other aspects of a relationship. I don't know one couple that doesn't have to regularly compromise on big and small things in their life.

 

So it's not about a "man sticking around and *adhering* to my timetable. It's about the two of us figuring each other out, figuring out how we work together and sometimes making some compromises for one another.

 

You guys are making it sound like women never compromise on things they may want. Or that women don't have to wait for things from men they may want. Well they do. All this pressuring for sex and bitterness for women making choices about their own sexuality reminds me of high school... and not in a positive " you make me feel young" kind of way.