Firegirl04 Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 My bf and I have been together for over a year now. We are living together. He can't get a checking account (partially due to ex-wife) so his paycheck (and mine) goes into my account. The problem is he wants his whole check everyweek. He doesn't care about bills. He doesn't care if we get things caught up or even if there is food in the fridge. All I here is give me my check, I worked for it ... ITS MINE! I take out $200 - $300 dollars of his check and give to him on Friday after work. He has this totally gone by sunday evening. I told him I am trying to get bills paid and caught up... he says give it to me and I'll give it back to you. I think its pointless and that is a big hassle for me to take it all out of the bank give it to him, him give it back to me and the go back to the bank. What should I do... besides kick his @** out the door.
dyermaker Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 You should give him the entirety of his check, it's his money that he worked for. If you don't feel comfortable doing this, don't allow him to use your account.
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Why do you get your boyfriend's check? How does it go directly to you and not to him? Although I think he needs to take responsibility for his share of the bills you two incur I do agree with him that it is his money. Not yours. He should be receiving his check and giving you the money you two agree on for the household bills. If it is $300 a month then that is what he should give you and how he spends the rest of his money is his business. Make sure to include all costs in the monthly household contribution. Consider all utilities, gas, food, going out to dinner money, rent, insurance and any other joint bill you two share. Once you come to an agreement on the total that you both with equally contribute (if it's $300 a month you both put in $300 a month to the household account) and how he spends his remaining money is his business. My husband and I have a household account. We both put in $X amount twice a month. All groceries, utilities, mortgage, insurance, car repairs, eating/going out costs are included in the set amount. How my husband spends the remainder of his check is his business and I don't question him about it. He doesn't question me about my money either. We both work for it. We have the right to spend the excess how we want to.
Mr Spock Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Make him cash it at one of those moneymart places, where they'll take a chunk off the top. He obviously isn't good with his money-make him pay half of his share of things from that cash, up front.
Author Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 OK... so I've tried giving him the whole check thing. I don't ever so a penny of it back. The "boy" doesn't know how to handle his money. He spent 135.00 in one day and doesn't have anything to show for it beside 1 CD. I can support myself, but can't support him too. Thanks. The reason again his check goes into my account is because he can't get a checking account.
Fayebelle Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 If he wants to hold his $ let him. Then sit down tog. and work out a bill paying schedule- if he's late on his share 3 times -he's evicted. That way he knows what he needs when and if he doesn't have the maturity to cover it he will learn the consequences. And it's not like you "finally flipped" if he has to move out- he had fair warning. You should both sign a contract agreeing to the terms.
Author Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 Not a bad idea... we have tried that too. He knows the bill schedule. He just doesn't care. I love him alot ...with the exception of the money managing thing...hes not a bad guy. The funny thing is he wants me to do all the budgeting. Oh well I will try one more time... then hes out
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 He can't expect you to support him because he is bad with money. Does he pay you for the bills at all? Or does he just pay you late? If he doesn't pay you at all, I would dump him. You can't deal with this bullshine.
Author Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 Here lately hes paid on time (because I have put him on a budget... if he wants money he asks me for it. I give it to him as long as there is money to give) He had lost his job and was off work for two months. I paid for his food, etc. Made sure enough $ went to the bills so he could live. Also helped him buy a car... gave him $400.00 for it -- he hasn't paid me back yet
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I did the same thing. I helped my bf buy a car, I helped him when he was out of work, I helped him buy music equipment for his band and his business. Guess what. When we broke up, I was $30,000 in debt and I didn't get one d@mn dollar from him. I tried to sue him and he declared bankruptcy so I wouldn't get any money. Don't give him any more money.
Author Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 I haven't given him anymore of my money. I get his money out of the bank. Your "band" boyfriend sound like my ex. (only i got my money back)
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 Hope it wasn't the same guy! Just don't fall into the same trap twice.
Author Firegirl04 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Posted July 27, 2004 Not unless your ex-guy is a wannabe drummer from Indiana
HoldOn Posted July 27, 2004 Posted July 27, 2004 I don't know, but ever since I dated him, I can't STAND the thought of dating another musician! Even like a famous millionaire.
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