jobaba Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 They say the first step to recovery is admission, and I'll admit it. I am a bitter man. Old (mid 30s) wretched, miserable, and bitter. It comes partly from being rejected by hundreds of women but mostly from seeing all of the few women I've had any real feelings for reject me and hook up with other guys. I really feel it's too late for me. And it's definitely too late for some others here too. But I see some good young guys on here in their young 20s who have troubles with women and I see the bitterness starting to appear. That's when it started for me too. I implore you not to go down my path. For those guys, here are some tips to avoid becoming like me... 1) Don't be the hopeless romantic. When I was younger, I was the guy who thought I could charm that cutie by bringing her flowers, telling her how beautiful I thought she was, and playing her a song I wrote on the guitar. Don't be that idiot. DON'T THINK YOU CAN MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU. You can't. Ever. Better to be the guy who chases after many women with low investment. 2) Be more shallow. What, you say? Yes, become pickier when it comes to looks. I see some guys here posting that they are attracted to most any woman who is young and not obese. I, too, am attracted to MANY women. Going in with that attitude will make you bitter. If you were more selective, then you would harbor less resentment for the women who reject you. You would sympathize with their selectiveness because you'd have selectiveness too. It's the rule of reciprocity really. What would you care if a woman rejects you if she's not attracted to Asian men, if you don't like black women yourself? Right? Be particular. GET A TYPE! 3) Don't go for female friends. Developing feelings for a friend whom you meet and learn to appreciate over a period of time is the dumbest thing you could ever do. If you get rejected enough times in this scenario, your bitterness is almost assured. Keep it light, and express interest early. 4) Lastly, get out and socialize with lots of women. Don't be the shy and quiet guy. The shy and quiet guy becomes the bitter guy. Get out a lot and you'll find what type is more likely to be attracted to you. Make that your type and milk it. Learn to be light hearted. Life favors those who forget, and move on quick. Try not to take love so seriously. That is the most important thing to remember. Think car salesman. They're not buying, you move on and forget. Another customer will be coming through the door soon. 2
Necromancer Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Solid advice, very basic but yet makes you think about it. We will all die and be forgotten... Sometimes we just forget that. I always keep telling myself that, it makes approaching\asking out gals two times easier.
gaius Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I am a bitter man. Old (mid 30s) wretched, miserable, and bitter. It comes partly from being rejected by hundreds of women but mostly from seeing all of the few women I've had any real feelings for reject me and hook up with other guys. I really feel it's too late for me. And it's definitely too late for some others here too. But I see some good young guys on here in their young 20s who have troubles with women and I see the bitterness starting to appear. That's when it started for me too. I implore you not to go down my path. For those guys, here are some tips to avoid becoming like me... 1) Don't be the hopeless romantic. When I was younger, I was the guy who thought I could charm that cutie by bringing her flowers, telling her how beautiful I thought she was, and playing her a song I wrote on the guitar. Don't be that idiot. DON'T THINK YOU CAN MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU. You can't. Ever. Better to be the guy who chases after many women with low investment. You can make women like you. You just can't do it by bringing flowers / writing songs when you're getting nothing of value reciprocated. You have to behave a certain way. A manly way. I remember when you had that episode and announced you were quitting LS in every forum, and then came back a week later. You both threw a tantrum and went back on your word in one sitting. That's not sexy or manly behavior. I agree with Taramere that usually people are pretty similar in real life to their online persona. If you're a young guy and you want a woman then work for her. Be a man and make her grow fond of you. Don't let her rejection phase you and you just might end up finding yourself where you want to be.
verhrzn Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 You can make women like you. You just can't do it by bringing flowers / writing songs when you're getting nothing of value reciprocated. You have to behave a certain way. A manly way. I remember when you had that episode and announced you were quitting LS in every forum, and then came back a week later. You both threw a tantrum and went back on your word in one sitting. That's not sexy or manly behavior. I agree with Taramere that usually people are pretty similar in real life to their online persona. If you're a young guy and you want a woman then work for her. Be a man and make her grow fond of you. Don't let her rejection phase you and you just might end up finding yourself where you want to be. Outta curiosity, what does "being a man" mean? You say it a bunch but don't qualify it beyond saying "don't let her rejection phase you." Does that mean don't take no for an answer? This is a genuine question because I see this idea of masculinity and how it's tied to "getting" women a lot in male advice columns and PUA books, and I've never fully understood it. I myself don't really like macho men; so would that advice not work on me? Or is it something besides/beyond being macho?
orionboxing Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 lol. Solid advice mostly....except one thing...mid-30's is not old!!!!
Sun Devil Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I am wondering if your personality or looks have been keeping you from getting a girl. I have been improving myself and finding out my own flaws and fixing them. Currently, my height and aspergers syndrome are what is preventing me from getting a girl, but I have been told that my height may not be an issue. I will have a girl by my 30's and I will do whaterver it takes to make sue that happens
Author jobaba Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 You can make women like you. You just can't do it by bringing flowers / writing songs when you're getting nothing of value reciprocated. You have to behave a certain way. A manly way. I remember when you had that episode and announced you were quitting LS in every forum, and then came back a week later. You both threw a tantrum and went back on your word in one sitting. That's not sexy or manly behavior. I agree with Taramere that usually people are pretty similar in real life to their online persona. If you're a young guy and you want a woman then work for her. Be a man and make her grow fond of you. Don't let her rejection phase you and you just might end up finding yourself where you want to be. I'm starting to agree with the bolded and I'm making a conscious effort to not say things online that I would not say out loud in real life. For me, I feel it's too late. Not that I can't be happy and fall in love, but I feel like I will always be bitter. I'm pretty scarred at this point. Others don't have to follow in my footsteps... I am wondering if your personality or looks have been keeping you from getting a girl. I have been improving myself and finding out my own flaws and fixing them. Currently, my height and aspergers syndrome are what is preventing me from getting a girl, but I have been told that my height may not be an issue. I will have a girl by my 30's and I will do whaterver it takes to make sue that happens It doesn't matter the reasons. I believe if I could do it over, I'd probably still have very little success with women relative to other men, but I could have conditioned myself not to be so bitter towards women and all of the rejection that I have faced. You need to be selective with who you pursue and how you pursue.
yongyong Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I recently read a very good advice from an old guy (60) that I'd like to share. make sure you treat every f-ck like it's your last one. Even if you don't like her all that much, pound her until she is a quivering mush of orgasmic flesh. And when you bust your nut, say to yourself "This is what it means to be alive." Every time. Whether you're 20 or 50. 1
soccerrprp Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 They say the first step to recovery is admission, and I'll admit it. I am a bitter man. Old (mid 30s) wretched, miserable, and bitter. It comes partly from being rejected by hundreds of women but mostly from seeing all of the few women I've had any real feelings for reject me and hook up with other guys. I really feel it's too late for me. And it's definitely too late for some others here too. But I see some good young guys on here in their young 20s who have troubles with women and I see the bitterness starting to appear. That's when it started for me too. I implore you not to go down my path. For those guys, here are some tips to avoid becoming like me... 1) Don't be the hopeless romantic. When I was younger, I was the guy who thought I could charm that cutie by bringing her flowers, telling her how beautiful I thought she was, and playing her a song I wrote on the guitar. Don't be that idiot. DON'T THINK YOU CAN MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU. You can't. Ever. Better to be the guy who chases after many women with low investment. 2) Be more shallow. What, you say? Yes, become pickier when it comes to looks. I see some guys here posting that they are attracted to most any woman who is young and not obese. I, too, am attracted to MANY women. Going in with that attitude will make you bitter. If you were more selective, then you would harbor less resentment for the women who reject you. You would sympathize with their selectiveness because you'd have selectiveness too. It's the rule of reciprocity really. What would you care if a woman rejects you if she's not attracted to Asian men, if you don't like black women yourself? Right? Be particular. GET A TYPE! 3) Don't go for female friends. Developing feelings for a friend whom you meet and learn to appreciate over a period of time is the dumbest thing you could ever do. If you get rejected enough times in this scenario, your bitterness is almost assured. Keep it light, and express interest early. 4) Lastly, get out and socialize with lots of women. Don't be the shy and quiet guy. The shy and quiet guy becomes the bitter guy. Get out a lot and you'll find what type is more likely to be attracted to you. Make that your type and milk it. Learn to be light hearted. Life favors those who forget, and move on quick. Try not to take love so seriously. That is the most important thing to remember. Think car salesman. They're not buying, you move on and forget. Another customer will be coming through the door soon. Bitter and cynical advice from a bitter and cynical person....i've always been courteous, kind AND A MAN and i've done fine. Still looking, but don't regret being a REAL MAN, not the kind you describe....a real man doesn't allow others (ie. women) control how and what he should behave and become....
AD1980 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I think the one thing thats kept me alive and going after 32 years of no women is the fact that i get claustrophobic around people so while im not a recluse or anything and i love to party on weekends and see friends the idea of someone around me 24/7 seems a little overwhelming So lucklily loneliness has never been that big a deal to me which has kept me somewhat sane and alive,its more just ego crushing thinking women arent attracted to me
Author jobaba Posted October 2, 2012 Author Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) Bitter and cynical advice from a bitter and cynical person....i've always been courteous, kind AND A MAN and i've done fine. Still looking, but don't regret being a REAL MAN, not the kind you describe....a real man doesn't allow others (ie. women) control how and what he should behave and become.... Believe me, I tell myself this every day... "Stop being such a f@cking pussy." "Shut the f@ck up." "Stop being suck a f@cking wuss." That is what I tell myself every day when I think of things like the women who have rejected me, things like yearning for women, and things like fear and doubt. I've spent the last 10 years trying to mold myself into someone more masculine and manly, and I regularly give the same advice on boards. But deep down inside, I yearn for women who have rejected me, my heart breaks, and I feel pain. I wish I could be a cold unfeeling bastard, but I can't... I was raised to be a pussy. But I try, and I definitely put on the act when I remember, and your post will make me remember again for a while. Edited October 2, 2012 by jobaba
RogerWallace111 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I recently read a very good advice from an old guy (60) that I'd like to share. make sure you treat every f-ck like it's your last one. Even if you don't like her all that much, pound her until she is a quivering mush of orgasmic flesh. And when you bust your nut, say to yourself "This is what it means to be alive." Every time. Whether you're 20 or 50. Best advice in the whole thread.
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 (edited) Cripes. I didnt start dating until my 30s really. I still suffer painful experiences. I stuck with it and now I do pretty well. Anyway this is my addition to the list: 6. Realize you dont have it so bad. Guys whom you thought were leading a charmed life due to being married are having marriages end all the time. Same is happening to women. I know of someone whose husband left her after 35 years for another woman. Stop whining! Edited October 2, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Bitterness is just one stage on the way to acceptance. My advice to bitter folks is to accept that things are the way they are and they aren't ever going to change. Once you accept that then you can enjoy life and not put effort into fruitless endeavors (like dating for example).
CaptJay Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Bitterness is just one stage on the way to acceptance. My advice to bitter folks is to accept that things are the way they are and they aren't ever going to change. Once you accept that then you can enjoy life and not put effort into fruitless endeavors (like dating for example). ...and not ruminating over past dating disappointments, or anything else for that matter. 1
Revolver Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I've always had decent to good success with women from a young age so I've never really been bitter. But to be fair if a guy is having little to no success and he sees all or most of his Friends/other peers in relationships/having sex it's not really hard to see how over time he wouldn't become bitter. Especially in college
ThaWholigan Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 I've always had decent to good success with women from a young age so I've never really been bitter. But to be fair if a guy is having little to no success and he sees all or most of his Friends/other peers in relationships/having sex it's not really hard to see how over time he wouldn't become bitter. Especially in college If that were true then I would be bitter......
Revolver Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 If that were true then I would be bitter...... Yeah because it applies in ALL cases.....
2.50 a gallon Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Learn how to woo women. Women like sex just as much as us men. Some even more. Learn about love chemicals and how to use them to your advantage. Make them laugh, it releases love chemicals into their blood stream and goes straight to their brain. Study them, learn how to talk to them, and then listen, they will tell you how do seduce them. They like to be seduced. More love chemicals. Learn their individual likes and dislikes. Music, enterrainment, food. When you discover a food that they have never tried, invited them to try it. Girls just want to have fun. What do they like to do to have fun? Suggest new ways to have fun, fishing, monster trucks, the local stock car races, or motorcyle races, hot air ballon event, local football, baseball games, the circus, even flying a kite, or climbing a tree. Teach them how to hang by their knees. Have fun. Move love chemicals. Think positive, most will reject men who think the world is a sh*t sandwich and everyday they have to take a bite. Get yourself a good job. Be reliable Can you dance? Learn!!!! Can you cook? Become a grill master. Teach yourself how to cook some gourmet meals. Celebrate the holidays. Halloween and Christmas. They are looking for the future father of their children, they don't be a bah humbug guy. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Sorry 2.50, I don't look at the world with rose colored glasses on. The world is just a sh*t sandwich that we have to take a bite from everyday. If that doesn't attract women then oh well.
2.50 a gallon Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 322 Gee! That's too bad. Maybe that is one of the reasons you aren't getting laid
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 322 Gee! That's too bad. Maybe that is one of the reasons you aren't getting laid I don't want to get laid. In fact if I had my way I wouldn't have sex at all. I'm only interested in companionship. Go to a ballgame, movies, for a bike ride, etc. Unfortunately, no woman wants to spend any longer than 3 minutes around me. I'm no longer "bitter" about it. I just accept it as fact. I was just disagreeing with you upbeat view of things.
SteveC80 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Learn how to woo women. Women like sex just as much as us men. Some even more. Learn about love chemicals and how to use them to your advantage. Make them laugh, it releases love chemicals into their blood stream and goes straight to their brain. Study them, learn how to talk to them, and then listen, they will tell you how do seduce them. They like to be seduced. More love chemicals. Learn their individual likes and dislikes. Music, enterrainment, food. When you discover a food that they have never tried, invited them to try it. Girls just want to have fun. What do they like to do to have fun? Suggest new ways to have fun, fishing, monster trucks, the local stock car races, or motorcyle races, hot air ballon event, local football, baseball games, the circus, even flying a kite, or climbing a tree. Teach them how to hang by their knees. Have fun. Move love chemicals. Think positive, most will reject men who think the world is a sh*t sandwich and everyday they have to take a bite. Get yourself a good job. Be reliable Can you dance? Learn!!!! Can you cook? Become a grill master. Teach yourself how to cook some gourmet meals. Celebrate the holidays. Halloween and Christmas. They are looking for the future father of their children, they don't be a bah humbug guy. Id agree with the laughing thing,hell i have friends wives who im pretty sure want me because they think im funny
somedude81 Posted October 2, 2012 Posted October 2, 2012 Learn how to woo women. Women like sex just as much as us men. Some even more. Learn about love chemicals and how to use them to your advantage. Make them laugh, it releases love chemicals into their blood stream and goes straight to their brain. That's the same thing as telling somebody, "You don't like being poor? Then learn how to get rich." Thanks Captain Obvious. I would love to learn how to woo women and make them want me. I don't have a fu*king clue how to even start. No matter what I do, I can't get anybody to like me. And I'm getting tired of pointless rejections.
GG2W Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 He is telling you how to get rich I can understand your failure rate, not many woman would look forward to an evening of a woo is me pity party. Keep trying you might get lucky, but ask yourself, why would you want to be around her.
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