Ani Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I know most of you all hope to move in and/or get married but I was wondering how long till that happens and what is stopping you guys for doing it now? Another thing is how long have you been in an ldr? My girlfriend and I have decided to wait till we are done with our degrees which i have 3 years left. What's stopping us from doing it now is her parents haven't met me do to cultural and religious reasons. It's against Indian culture to date and its also against her religion to date a non Muslim. So those are huge problems. Friday was our 2 year anniversary.
january2011 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Been together for over a year. Both have loose ends to tie up in our respective locations. Will see what happens over the next year. I think we're old enough and have been around the block enough times to decide if this relationship is going to lead to marriage in the next year or so. If it doesn't, then I guess I have to start asking some hard questions of myself and of him.
meeji Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 we don't really have plans at the moment. He lives in a different country so it is a little tricky for us. Eventually, we want to be together. I'm giving it 3 years tops. If we haven't starting making moves by that point then something is wrong. He has a very good job where he is and I could push for him to relocate but I know how hard it is to find good jobs these days. As for me, I could relocate there but I would have to find a good job myself, that has very good benefits because of heath concerns. In my own country, its not a problem but trying to get visas and health insurance overseas is a big can of worms to open. I guess its bad not to have a plan but we're still in the very early stages so we have plenty of time.
LittleTiger Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Three years for us. Still head over heels in love! We got engaged in August 2010, and our wedding was organised for 3 August 2011 out in Queensland, Australia. (He's a Kiwi and I'm English) Sadly we were forced to postpone the wedding for a couple of reasons. His ex put a spanner in the works regarding his daughter (she's a nasty woman!) and the recession has given us both major financial problems. We're still engaged and planning to get married as soon as one of us is able to move. Who will move to start with depends on who becomes free of home 'ties' first or at least free enough to make a move possible. Ultimately, we will settle in NZ. We've looked at the area we want to be (near his young daughter) and even houses we both like. That's all dependent on me selling my business and my property and, until the recession starts to ease off, that's looking unlikely in the immediate future. On top of that we both have elderly/sick parents. They have all given us their blessings whatever we decide to do, but I wouldnt want to move 12,000 miles away until I was financially able to fly back at the drop of a hat. He is also concerned about being able to fly back and forth to see his daughter. It's all very complicated, but we're sticking it out and holding on to hope that something will shift in the near future. Until then, we'll keep doing what we've been doing because, at the moment, it's working well for us. 2
HeavenOrHell Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Our plans for closing the distance fell through a year ago, so we've no end goal now. We've been together 2 1/2 years, met up about 20 times. Work issues, health, and several other reasons, (too personal to go into here), mean neither of us can move for the foreseeable, we've mostly stopped thinking about closing the distance now as it's pointless and frustrating and gets us nowhere, we're living in the here and now instead, and making the most of what we have. We tried breaking up when we knew moving wasn't going to happen after all, but that was worse, we're now closer (emotionally) than ever. We'll just stay together until/unless one or both of us becomes miserable because we can't be together properly and we want more from a relationship. Letting go was/is never going to be easy, not when you have something special. Nothing else we can do right now, at the moment it feels ok, I love what we have and am not about to let go of it (again). But I realise probably the majority of couples would call it a day if they thought they might never be together.
HeavenOrHell Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I think you're probably like me and my partner in that even though it's been so tough at times it would be far far worse to break up, because you still share so much and are incredibly close and loving together even though you're apart most of the time. I still feel like I share my life with my partner day to day, even though it's not the same as being there with him. What you and I have with our partners is still very precious and special. I hope you'll find a way to be with him properly in time, no-one deserves it more than you two. Three years for us. Still head over heels in love! We got engaged in August 2010, and our wedding was organised for 3 August 2011 out in Queensland, Australia. (He's a Kiwi and I'm English) Sadly we were forced to postpone the wedding for a couple of reasons. His ex put a spanner in the works regarding his daughter (she's a nasty woman!) and the recession has given us both major financial problems. We're still engaged and planning to get married as soon as one of us is able to move. Who will move to start with depends on who becomes free of home 'ties' first or at least free enough to make a move possible. Ultimately, we will settle in NZ. We've looked at the area we want to be (near his young daughter) and even houses we both like. That's all dependent on me selling my business and my property and, until the recession starts to ease off, that's looking unlikely in the immediate future. On top of that we both have elderly/sick parents. They have all given us their blessings whatever we decide to do, but I wouldnt want to move 12,000 miles away until I was financially able to fly back at the drop of a hat. He is also concerned about being able to fly back and forth to see his daughter. It's all very complicated, but we're sticking it out and holding on to hope that something will shift in the near future. Until then, we'll keep doing what we've been doing because, at the moment, it's working well for us.
LittleTiger Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 I hope you'll find a way to be with him properly in time, no-one deserves it more than you two. Aw thanks HOH, that's really sweet of you. I really hope your story has a happy ending too - we all deserve it. 1
AshleyLoveKaleb Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 We've only been LD for 2 months, but we've been on and off for a year and a half (nearly 11 months non-stop). Simply we can't close the distance now because we are both teenagers. I still have a year left of high school, and he has two years. Then I go a college-type school (here the school system is wonky) for two years, and then I hope to go to university in Oklahoma, where he is.
Appleanche Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Our plans for closing the distance fell through a year ago, so we've no end goal now. We've been together 2 1/2 years, met up about 20 times. Work issues, health, and several other reasons, (too personal to go into here), mean neither of us can move for the foreseeable, we've mostly stopped thinking about closing the distance now as it's pointless and frustrating and gets us nowhere, we're living in the here and now instead, and making the most of what we have. We tried breaking up when we knew moving wasn't going to happen after all, but that was worse, we're now closer (emotionally) than ever. We'll just stay together until/unless one or both of us becomes miserable because we can't be together properly and we want more from a relationship. Letting go was/is never going to be easy, not when you have something special. Nothing else we can do right now, at the moment it feels ok, I love what we have and am not about to let go of it (again). But I realise probably the majority of couples would call it a day if they thought they might never be together. I feel your pain. My partner and are in a similar position in that we would like to get married and move in together, and even though we only live 1 hour apart, we still can't find a way to make it work. I have a son whose father would never let me uproot him, so that pretty much locks me in to this area, at least until he's out of school. If my ex would "allow" me to still have my son on my days if I were to move in with my bf, my work schedule then becomes the next problem. I would have to get up really early with my son just to get him to school and make it to work by 8. Even if my son was okay with this routine, I am NOT because I know I would never get enough sleep. After 5 years with this man I really don't anticipate us ever getting to bed at a decent hour, so lack of sleep on a everyday basis is just not something I can handle. Although he has talked about it I would never expect him to move this direction as this would present a slough of problems for him, so the way I see it is: we are stuck for now. We are ok with this for the time being, but it is frustrating that we can't ever come up with any new solutions when we talk about it.
amayana Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 Hi Ani My boyfriend and I have only been LD for 4 months so far. We've been together for 7 months, so we're still "babies" in our relationship. So far everything is going well in spite of both of us living in two different continents - Europe and US. We're both in college. We met in London when he was an exchange student at my university but sadly he had to go back to the States last May. He's a junior, I'm in my 2nd year of university, which means we'll be both graduating at the same time. We are currently planning on closing the distance then. Obviously there are visa issues involved, yet we are both ready to move for the other one. We have talked about marriage and we think we're a bit too young and it would be great to wait. We also wouldn't want to get married purely out of convenience. I understand your religion issue. Most of his relatives are Christians and I'm not religious at all. He's more open-minded, he's not very religious himself. They do expect us to get married at some point. We have been quite intimate with each other already and his family would probably be disappointed if they ever found out.
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