No contact works and does not work.

[Apollo432]

Well I didn't think that I would be posting this thread ever but here she goes. Last week I was pretty fed up with the ex. She would only contact me at work and it was starting to get on my nerves. So I stopped replying and decided to see if she would call. She kept on emailing and finally called (while I was at work) and said why are you ignoring me I want to talk to you.

 

I left it be for two days and then wrote her this. I want you to know that I am not mad at you but, this is just to hard for me right now. I'm having a problem being one of the guys again mostly because I still have feelings for you. She came back and said that she still loves me but a lot has happened since the break. I said I don't know what you think how you feel etc...if there is something that I can help you with please let me know. I said I still hope we can meet up one last time before I leave. (We were supposed to be moving away together in August, I still am). She came back and said If you ever want to hang out and do something just ask, I would love to. So I jokingly said what are you doing tonight? She said nothing wanna do something?

 

So we decided to go to a movie. We met up and it was a bit awkward. We haven't seen each other in 4 weeks. So we went to see Anchorman and it stunk half way through the movie I said this movie stinks wanna get outta here and get a drink?

 

So we go to the bar and play pool and have a few drinks. She really started to open up and began touching my arm ect.... I didn't go there to pressure her with questions b/c a lot was left unresolved. But, out it came. I didn't even have to ask. She told me everything from her going out on a few dates to getting therapy to not having sex with anyone and that she needed to be alone for once in her life. We ended that conversation and went on to have a wonderful evening It was amazing. More than I ever expected. (I thought she was going just to make me happy).

 

I left for a wedding over the weekend and Told her that I wanted to see her again when I got back. I figured no contact was not the thing to do in this situation and said I thought about you over the weekend and I am glad we got some things out. I really am happy for the first time in 2 months. I then asked her if she wanted to see me this week and she replied yes. We are going to watch a movie at my place tonight. It should be quite interesting.

 

SO the point is no contact is not always the rule. I did a lot of the initiating after a few weeks and I had to b/c I am leaving in two weeks and if we are ever meant to be I couldn't leave it the way it was. This is not advice for anyone b/c all situations are different I just want people to know that these people who broke our hearts are not as strong and as black hearted as we might think they are.

Wish me luck tonight.

[Pained]

It all depends on what you're using "No Contact" for. I truly believe that NC isn't to get someone back. That's playing hard to get. I think NC is to give yourself time to heal. And I don't think that absolute no contact is always the best, but if you have someone who broke it off with you because you were too stifling or clingy, the best thing to do is really leave them alone, at least for a while. If they were rude or hurtful to you, the best thing to do is leave them alone indefinitely.