MilitantPacifist Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 (edited) So, I had a great date last night with a woman I've been seeing for a month. (This only comprises about 5 or 6 dates though because we're both pretty busy.) We're both 29 and recently (within the last year) out of long term committed relationships. For her it was a three year marriage, for me it was a three year engagement. So primarily I'm wondering if FUBARed the relationship because of my performance in the sack, so I'll cut right to that, backstory's below if you care to read it. We were just kind of cuddling and watching a show I'd been talking about before. Not 5 minutes into the thing light caresses turned to petting and then some pretty heavy foreplay. It was the first time we've done it so it took a while to figure out exactly what she likes (as it always does the first time with a new woman) but we were both really into it and kind of lost control for a minute. After it was clear she was ready to go (and we'd already discarded her blouse and bra and my shirt) I started to pull down her pants, already on top of her. She said no... and I figured she wasn't 100% ready so continued with the foreplay and some dry thrusting through the clothes. Try to pull down her pants, same result... an empathic no. I diligently continued with the foreplay even though I was way beyond ready. And finally a third attempt.. this time pants came off, only underwear left. But at this point as I was trying to get rid of the underwear and finally enter her, a third empathic NO. I was hugely disappointed but sucked it up because obviously I'm not going to rape the girl. And it wasn't entirely out of left field because up to that night all we'd done is kiss, hold hands, a little casual necking, etc. Regardless it was clear that she was going to leave frustrated if she didn't get off, so instead of penetrating her, I proceeded to give her 5 or 6 (kind of lost count by the end) orgasms with mouth, hands, and rubbing my hard part, all on various parts of her body. On the plus side I learned exactly the best spots and what she does and doesn't like. So afterward we're just cuddling and smoking, me with seriously frustrated, blue balls and her with dazed happiness. I've long since (three hours later) lost my drive and have given up on the idea of any kind of pleasure for myself, but as we're cuddling apparently she gets turned on again and demands that I mount and take her. Both of my heads are thoroughly confused at this point, and I absolutely can't get started again. She did nothing to assist this at first (stated she had a sore throat when I told her to give me a BJ, and just sort of held it but didn't do anything when I tried to get a HJ). I was getting more and more turned off as she seemed to have no interest in getting me off at all or in my cock. I tried my damnedest to get going again but couldn't, so I just gave her one or two more orgasms and called it a night, without having been able to penetrate her or get off myself. (I would have just continued trying or fallen asleep with her and then had regular sex in the morning as I'm sure I would have been ready to go again, but she has kids and it was already 4:30 (we'd started at 12:30) and she has kids who are usually up around 5 or 6 so I knew she had to get back. She seemed happy when she left but I have no idea if she would ever want to do it again since I couldn't complete my part of it. I did explain to her why it happened: a) Her repeated and empathic NOs pre-entry brought rape to my my mind over and over. And that's sick, it's not a turn-on. b) She really didn't do anything to show she appreciated or wanted me, pretty much was all about pleasuring her. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of pleasuring a woman, but I was very confused by the fact that she seemed to have no interest in my cock. (I've been told it's a pretty good specimen by most girls though, plenty of length and girth. Which is proportional since I'm 6'4.) Is she off laughing at me somewhere for my inability to finish the deed? I'm sitting here wondering if I have a problem and if I just totally blew the whole situation with her. --- Anyway that's the part I'm wondering about, this was what led up to it: So we had a nice dinner at a good restaurant, went for a drive around town (she didn't care for the movie I'd picked out, and the event I was going to take her to was shut down early due to some sort of altercation, was swarming with cops). I intended to drive her to a nice overlook of the city, but the road was closed down. She too picked a spot, but that was closed as well. Eventually just driving around we found ourselves near my place, and she suggested we just go there for a bit and hang out. This was great as she'd never been to my place before. She seemed to like my place, got comfortable, even introduced herself to my cats and tried to make friends with them. We listened to some music, compared pictures of family and other stuff of relevance to us, and just talked for a while. Then I suggested maybe she'd like to watch something, and she picked out Breaking Bad which I'd mentioned before when she was talking about how much she likes Weeds. So in order to see the TV she gets off the chair she'd been on and hops on my bed, we get comfortable and lie down entwined together, and 5 minutes later.. see above lol. Edited September 30, 2012 by MilitantPacifist
SmileFace Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 No she sounds selfish. I say she blowed it. However first times can be awkward but this situation most definately isn't your fault .
Author MilitantPacifist Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 No she sounds selfish. I say she blowed it. However first times can be awkward but this situation most definately isn't your fault . Thanks for the response. I hope you're right. We'll see if she's interested in contact or if she just blows me off now.
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