hellodearest Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I've other threads on here, so I won't post the whole thing, mid twenties, 2 year relationship, great relationship overall, both of us happy, but when I asked if she was happy, she realized that she had some doubts about the relationship, wasn't totally in love, though loved me more than anyone else. I'm her first relationship. It's been 9 days since we've broken up, and I thought I was feeling alright for a few days but yesterday was really rough. Saw her a two days ago at a show we both had tickets for, had a couple mutual friends go, and we all hung out together. A few times our friends wandered off and it was just me and her. She held my hand and put her arm around me during the concert. I shrugged her off, gracefully. I was really ****ed up that night, but held it together emotionally. She could tell I was ****ed up because I had spaghetti legs going down some stairs, etc, but I didn't do/say anything stupid or that I regret. In fact, I made her laugh a lot. Kept the night casual, she asked me if I wanted to stay the night at her place, saying she wanted to make sure I was ok. I declined in a nice way, saying that I was fine, but thanks. That night she texted me "you ok?" after she got home, I was asleep by then. Yesterday morning she called to see how I was doing. It wasn't so much what she said, but I could tell she was lingering on the phone. She wanted to talk (maybe hang out... judging from her tone of voice etc.), and she asked if I had a test this week (an indicator if I have to study or have the weekend free. I DO have a test, so she backed off). I ended the conversation when there was a lull - she wanted to talk more, but there wasn't much else to say unless we got into deeper issues. Anyway, last night I couldn't sleep at all, keep missing her. I've played the whole break-up really cool so far. She hasn't even told her close friends we've broken up (we've broken up in the past over the same issue, and gotten back together, so she feels stupid about the whole thing). Every day while we were dating, there was some iteration of a back rub over a TV show. I'm thinking about texting or calling her and say "Wanna trade back rubs over boardwalk empire before I hit the books?" I don't know at this juncture if that would be a move in the right direction? Obviously the choices are, ask her, or not ask her, and I'm trying to decide which one, at this point in time, is the best decision for a possible reconciliation later?
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