Can both genders just stop the hatred?

[2.50 a gallon]

Gender War?

 

I am a firm believer in following the advice of the good book and "Love your enemy"

[TaraMaiden]

That can be read in a couple of ways....

[Taramere]

Gender War?

 

I am a firm believer in following the advice of the good book and "Love your enemy"

 

I'm not.

 

I wonder how many serial killers out there can count, amongst the senders of love-letters they receive, well-intended women of a Christian disposition. I recall an article describing how the Yorkshire Ripper had quite a few female fans who fell into that category. If somebody hates me, I either hate them back, or mildly dislike them or vaguely question why they would care enough to form a view on me....but I don't love them.

 

There are certain aspects of Christianity that I see as quite sensible, from a philosophical perspective, but loving those who hate you is not among them. It sounds too much like a recipe for drama and masochism.

[threebyfate]

There are certain aspects of Christianity that I see as quite sensible, from a philosophical perspective, but loving those who hate you is not among them. It sounds too much like a recipe for drama and masochism.

Let's be frank. I've yet to meet a Christian who honestly loves people who hate them.

[Taramere]

Let's be frank. I've yet to meet a Christian who honestly loves people who hate them.

 

Unless the word "love" can be substituted with "feel morally superior to". In which case...okay. I Christian heart my enemies too, and I'm sure my enemies love me back in the same way.

[EasyHeart]

I don't mind idiots. Idiots are a large part of the world and a very large part of the internet.

 

I find it more interesting that so many of you apparently feel compelled to respond to and engage them. I don't understand it. Do you think you're going to change the mind of a closed-minded person? Or are you so insecure in your own beliefs that someone disagreeing with you is perceived as a threat to your worldview?

 

It honestly puzzles me.

[Woggle]

I have no issue with being against men who are against women but very often that turns into hatred against all men. I remember when everything happened with my ex I lost count on how many women said that I should just shut up and get over it because I am only getting a taste of my own medicine. No women on here have said it but I was right next to my coworker's office and I heard them laughing about how I must have had a small package or that it was somehow my fault or that they admire my ex for living like a man.

 

I used to come home from work so angry about hearing that that I could barely function and one day I just snapped and decided to start throwing hatred the other way. I know that is wrong to feel that way but at the type I felt strong and empowered for the first time in my life. For once I was not being a victim anymore.

 

I have never before that hated women or abused them or even cheated on a woman and even today I never try and say women should be 2nd class or that women are over once they hit a certain age so what the hell did I do to deserve to be treated like that? If it is simply because I was born with a penis then how are women who think anybody better than the misogynists on here who spout hatred against women?

 

If it is okay to hate the misogynists who are against women then what is wrong with me hating the misandrists who abused me my entire life? Was I just supposed to keep taking it with a smile on my face? I know I shouldn't hate all women and this forum was showed me that not all women feel that way but there was a time when it really felt like they did.

[verhrzn]

In my opinion, one of the biggest reason for fights in the gender wars is that women don't want to admit how much easier they have it and dating & relationships compared to the average guy.

 

There are a few women out there who do acknowledge that they have it easier, and they have my respect.

 

And the women out there who say they have it just as bad, when it's obviously not the case, receive nothing but disdain.

 

*Points* Why I hate men. Because no matter how much I try to have sympathy and empathy for them, they refuse to extend me the same courtesy even when we are in the exact same situation.

[verhrzn]

same situation??????????????????????????????????????????????????? is this a case where a woman who can't get laid for a month says shes in the same situation as a thirty year old man virgin?

 

I'm speaking personally, for myself. I came here as someone who has failed spectacularly at dating and attracting men, but been denied sympathy over and over by male posters in the exact same situation (failing at dating, can't attract women, etc.)

 

For the record... sex is not the be-all, end-all of dating and relationships. Just because you get sex once, or twice, or even lots of times, does not make you successful at dating. It especially does not make a woman successful at dating... is it really a point in the woman's favor if a guy slept with her because he was desperate and bored? If he essentially just used her instead of his hand? No, so let's stop making "got sex" the measure of success.

[MonsterMash]

Lets face it people, theres a better chance of there being lasting peace in the middle east than between men and women. Why? Its a simple difference in the way they think. Men are logical thinkers, women are abstract thinkers.

 

And never the twain shall meet.

[iris219]

In my opinion, one of the biggest reason for fights in the gender wars is that women don't want to admit how much easier they have it and dating & relationships compared to the average guy.

 

There are a few women out there who do acknowledge that they have it easier, and they have my respect.

 

And the women out there who say they have it just as bad, when it's obviously not the case, receive nothing but disdain.

 

Why can't you admit that SOME men have it easier than SOME women and vice versa.

 

There are a lot of guys (and I don't mean hot, rich guys) who do just fine with the ladies, better, in fact, than me and V.

 

I'm going to say at this point in our lives, YOU have it easier than I do because 1. You can date both younger and older women 2. You are surrounded by women you'd be willing to date. I have neither 1 nor 2 going for me, so in that respect, you have a much better chance of finding someone than I do.

 

I don't pretend that my situation is typical. I acknowledge that SOME women certainly have it easier than SOME men. Sure, many women have it easier than you, but I'm not one of them.

[El Brujo]

Woggle may indeed have crowned himself LS's king of cynicism, but in that case, I'm definitely the prince of cynicism.

 

I think he is right... women have already made it clear they don't want to be Stepford wives (which is not what a lot of men including myself are interested in anyway), but IMO we men can help a lot by letting go of our whole off-putting machismo thing.

 

Bros, listen to me on this... forget about acting macho (which is something I suck at anyways) or trying to be something you're not (which I was never comfortable with anyways), and just concentrate on being interesting. It may not attract every woman you see, but at least nobody will be able to accuse you of being a macho BSer.

[Pyro]

I am going to extend this olive branch because I truly am sick of feeling like I am at war with women and that I have to constantly be on the defensive and look out for when something is going to come from out of left field.

 

Wouldn't the world be a better place if both sexes just treated each other the way they would want to be treated and showed mutual respect. Are any gender haters who mistreat the opposite sex actually happy?

 

I am the king of cynicism on here but this dark worldview is not working for me so why not just try and see some lightness in this world?

 

The reality of SOME men and women out there who dislike each other has been around for a while. Do you really honestly expect that to disappear into extinction like the dinosaurs?

 

I suppose next you are going to ask if murder can be stopped.

 

You are very delusional if you believe at all that the portion of the population that dislikes the opposite sex is going to go away.

 

Wake up and realize that it will always be there, but that gives you a convenient excuse to hold on to your views.

 

Most healthy people are able to look past that percentage of people but you won't and that is always going to hold you back from the rest of society.

[somedude81]

*Points* Why I hate men. Because no matter how much I try to have sympathy and empathy for them, they refuse to extend me the same courtesy even when we are in the exact same situation.

How are things working out with your boyfriend? Good I hope.

 

Me? I'm still alone looking for my first girlfriend ever. Alone and miserable. Thanks for asking

Why can't you admit that SOME men have it easier than SOME women and vice versa.

 

There are a lot of guys (and I don't mean hot, rich guys) who do just fine with the ladies, better, in fact, than me and V.

 

I'm going to say at this point in our lives, YOU have it easier than I do because 1. You can date both younger and older women 2. You are surrounded by women you'd be willing to date. I have neither 1 nor 2 going for me, so in that respect, you have a much better chance of finding someone than I do.

 

I don't pretend that my situation is typical. I acknowledge that SOME women certainly have it easier than SOME men. Sure, many women have it easier than you, but I'm not one of them.

Yes some guys do well with women and some women do worse then some men. It does not change the fact that dating and relationships is much easier for most women then it is for most men.

 

The key point, is that the vast majority of girls that are single, are single because they chose to be. In addition, somebody who is having trouble finding a man because their are few men her age around her, has chosen to be single.

 

And no Iris I do not have it easier because I am surrounded by women I would like to date. The fact that so far they are all hands off for me, makes it even harder than if they weren't there at all. It's like being lost out at sea and dehydrated. There is water everywhere but you can't drink any of it.

 

So far my dealings with women has been nothing but an annoying game of keep away.

 

Going for extreme lengths of time without a partner is not really something that happens to girls, unless there is some sort of significant circumstance. It's also very rare to hear of any girls under 25 who've never had a boyfriend.

[Woggle]

The reality of SOME men and women out there who dislike each other has been around for a while. Do you really honestly expect that to disappear into extinction like the dinosaurs?

 

I suppose next you are going to ask if murder can be stopped.

 

You are very delusional if you believe at all that the portion of the population that dislikes the opposite sex is going to go away.

 

Wake up and realize that it will always be there, but that gives you a convenient excuse to hold on to your views.

 

Most healthy people are able to look past that percentage of people but you won't and that is always going to hold you back from the rest of society.

 

I realize it will never go away completely but some of the things are read are just depressing.

[TaraMaiden]

Woggle:

 

I hate 'men'.

 

Most of the misfortunes vested upon me have been perpetrated by men who took advantage of my good nature, and shat on me from a great height. I'm talking about male relatives, spouses and employers.

 

I have always had employers of the opposite sex. To a man, I've been treated very poorly and unfairly by every single one of them. In fact, my last employer will pay dearly for the crap he threw at me, because he's going to an Employment Tribunal.

 

My partners to date have all been very different characters, so there has been no running theme, or 'specific type' I've been attracted to. I was attracted to them for different reasons. Yet all, hitherto, have seen fit to do a dirty on me.

Some relatives (and no, I'm not going to go into details) have been extremely abusive and behaved abominably towards me, and that's something I forgave a long time ago, but i can still remember. We're on good terms now, but time was.....

 

To look at my history, and to sit and talk with you in detail, I believe knowing more, you'd agree with me that my experiences so far have not been good ones.

on the face of what I have put above, it doesn't seem like any big deal, but please believe me when I tell you, I've really just skimmed the surface....

 

Yet when it comes to dealing with emotional problems on here, I think - I hope - you will agree that I am completely unbiased, impartial and 'genderless' when it comes to giving my input.

 

if I can do it - so can you.

[Woggle]

I hope you are joking when you say you hate men. Even I don't outright say I hate women.

[serial muse]

Men are logical thinkers, women are abstract thinkers.

 

Logical and abstract are not opposites. If that's what you were going for.

[serial muse]

I realize it will never go away completely but some of the things are read are just depressing.

 

Some of the things in this very thread are pretty damn depressing. I get angry when I spend too much time on LS these days, after reading statements from certain posters, such as how women should stick to their gender roles, there are things women can't do because they're women, women aren't logical, women can't fix the pipes under the sink, if women don't agree with a particular man's point of view on whether or not they have "legitimate" relationship troubles then they're lying - it's all a bunch of stupid thoughtless bullshxt, posts that are designed by their authors to add hate to the world and thumb their noses at the purpose of this very thread...but what're you gonna do? Some people, amirite?

 

Here's what I'm gonna do: Go outside, into the sunshine, and count my blessings, including the many lovely women and men in my life who treat others as individuals and respect or despise them accordingly. Hug my husband, who I am grateful to have found. Offer up a bunny --> :bunny: <-- or three to the awesome people on this very website who take the time to give thoughtful rather than knee-jerk responses to peoples' emotional aches.

 

A few more bunnies, a "toast" to the spirit of this thread. :bunny::bunny:

[TaraMaiden]

I hope you are joking when you say you hate men. Even I don't outright say I hate women.

 

That's why I inverted the commas.....

[Woggle]

I don't post stuff like that. I will be the first to say I have trust issues but I am not a chauvinist.

 

All these feelings are getting brought back up because of my mom and my ex have to poke their heads into my life again with the lawsuit and the will. The other day I tried one last time to rebuild the relationship with my mother because after all she has done to me I still want her to find some peace before she dies. I want to spend at least a few years experiencing some happiness instead of burning hatred but she swears she will be a proud misandrist until the day she dies. I give up anymore. If she wants to die miserable then let her.

 

I made this thread because I guess I need to become the change I want to see. If I want men and women to stop hating each other I guess begins with me because I don't want to be an old man one day saying I am a proud misogynist for life.

[Woggle]

That's why I inverted the commas.....

 

Is that supposed to mean you were sarcastic? I don't quite get it.

[serial muse]

I don't post stuff like that. I will be the first to say I have trust issues but I am not a chauvinist.

 

I know...I don't think you're a chauvinist at all. I just brought up those things to point out how easy it is to get derailed by all of this stupid shxt, which is invariably posted by people with an axe to grind. People enjoy riling other people up, for reasons best known to themselves. This thread stands as a testament to that.

 

Actively seeking a balancing perspective is the best way to counteract the negatives and to preserve your sanity.

[Pyro]

I realize it will never go away completely but some of the things are read are just depressing.

 

and if what you read online affects you in a negative way don't you think that you should stop reading it? That is basic common sense and I would have thought that your counselor would have gone over that with you. (Assuming that you are seeing one)

[TaraMaiden]

Is that supposed to mean you were sarcastic? I don't quite get it.

 

I actually strongly resent the constant "upper hand" men have had over the past couple of millennia, and the disgusting way that the stronger half of the species has used, abused and generally suppressed the physically generally weaker other half. There isn't another single species on earth where one gender is consciously and deliberately set on keeping the other half under a glass ceiling and at a social disadvantage, sometimes through cruel, inhuman and barbaric ways. Yet when women complain and do things to redress the balance, the vociferous and outraged outcry from men, is deafening in its unreasonableness. For a woman to stand up and protest that all she wants is to be heard on equal footing, is an abomination to a few men, but to my horror, there seems to be an underlying unconscious misogyny in many men, and although this is not their fault, it's down to their upbringing and the influence they have been subjected to.

 

Individual men, I get on with very well. I have several what I would term 'close male friends' on this forum of whom I am extremely fond, because i see that they, as individuals, are fair-minded, lovable, generous, funny, chivalrous and kind gentlemen.

 

But as a general race, as the gender which wields the most political, professional and global power, I strongly resent that there is as yet, even in this so-called enlightened 21st century, no female equivalent to help keep this planet spinning smoothly. Women are the silent strength in the background, the worker ant that bears the load but gets little or no praise. If every woman on the planet were to 'down tools' and refuse to continue with her chores, the global crisis would be felt almost immediately. Yet there is precious little credit given, where credit is due. And no effort, determination or offer to somehow redress that balance, or compensate for the inequality of the numbers game.

 

Yet to see my responses to individual males who bear a broken heart and a distressed emotional profile, you would never guess I harboured such sentiments. Because individually, every man is a human who deserves compassion and kindness, as much as any other.