CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 So me and my ex have somewhat remained friends after the break up. (she ended it, i wanted it to work out) I know we shouldn't be friends because once she finds someone else I will be left in the dust, but at the same time I'm not one of those people who wait next to the phone for her next call or text. We're just civil when we speak and it's never about the relationship. Anyway, she just asked me today if I could loan her some money and she'd pay me back in the next month. As her bf I would have done this in an instant, but being a "friend" I know it's just not right if I have any self respect at all. So my question is this. How can I word this and let her know that I don't think it's fair for me to loan her money? I don't want to come off as a dick and don't really want to say anything along the lines of "this is something a bf would do for you, not a friend." (so nothing relationship wise) Any ideas on a good choice of words would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Author CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 Just the man I needed to answer. I guess im trying to find a way to end this "friendship" out of the blue. I've been the nice guy so im trying to find a way to taper it off. I guess being a dick is the only way? *waits for your masculant reply
suladas Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I completely agree with gibson actually. Friends with the ex is a bad idea and don't do her any favors. Something around the lines of what he said is perfect, not to nice not to much of a dick.
Mike_d Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 +1 for gibson stop being the emotional tampon who gets no respect.
Author CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 Tell her like it is. It's not being a dick, its you being honest and true to yourself about what you want / need. Example: Ex, Whatever we have been doing the last few months is not working for me and this ends now. I was your BF, not your friend and I have no desire in becoming one. CCCCCCCCCCCC Something like that. Short, sweet and to the point. You don't need to explain it to her, justify it, ask for permission or end it on a good note, etc. Trust me, even if she complains or gets mad about it.. She will respect you for it. Thanks for the advice. I think that's the only way to do it.
Author CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 +1 for gibson stop being the emotional tampon who gets no respect. Whole reason I posted this thread my friend.
beyond Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Just to add, as a woman, I would totally respect you if you turned down such a request (although can't imagine why she thought it ok to ask you in the first place!) Don't try to justify your refusal or make it long winded - just say 'NO' and put a stop to the 'friends' charade.
I'm nuts Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 F'me, I can't believe someone would even have the front to ask, jeez wept, what is wrong with people today, do they have no shame? Can you lend me some money,? hilarious, come on man, do you really need to ask?
Author CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 F'me' date=' I can't believe someone would even have the front to ask, jeez wept, what is wrong with people today, do they have no shame? Can you lend me some money,? hilarious, come on man, do you really need to ask?[/quote'] I was asking how to word what I was going to say to her, not whether or not I should let her borrow it. Anyway, it's been taken care of. Thanks all
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