rosi Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I'm sorry if this is long but I need to give a little history. My husband and I have been married for 27 years, 4 children. The beginning of this month I discovered that my husband and a friend of mine -- who, by the way, never paid any attention to my husband even when we were in social settings together -- started texting my husband after a dinner we attended together. She'd start texting him at 6:30am -- all day, every day -- and he was texting back -- every 5 minutes. I found out because I was on his business banking account and saw that he had two charges for lunches two weeks in a row. I asked him who he had lunch with and he told me my friend -- the first lunch he said they bumped into each other and then the second time, he met up with her. He said that they were just talking business since the two are business owners and she wanted to pick his brain on his two businesses and the one that he worked for someone else How he could keep it all together. He also told me that I wasn't paying attention to him and that he was very stressed out about having, in essence, 3 jobs. All he kept saying was "I can't handle this any more". I took it as he had a bad day at work. Meanwhile, he continued to answer her texts during his very busy day and I thought since he was so busy that it was work texting him -- these texts went on until 11:30 at night sometimes. I never thought to question or even look at his cell phone. It was only when I confronted him about the lunches did he tell me about having lunch with her. Also, I did some more digging the next day and found out about the text messages and it was only then that he told me that they had been texting and talking business -- but he erased all the messages so I doubt it was business at all. I keep telling him if the texts were innocent and indeed about business, he wouldn't have deleted them. Every time I confront him about this, he walks away saying he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. He says he was never interested in her sexually and was only curious as to why she was now paying attention to him. I've kept a close watch on the cell phone account and I know that she hasn't communicated with my husband and neither has he with her. (I forgot to mention that I did text her one night and pretended to be my husband -- used his cell -- and she immediately called and when she did, needless to say, I gave tha b*tch a piece of my mind and threatened her that if she made any contact with him, she'd better watch her back.) My husband has repeatedly said it didn't mean anything (but I think of it as a EA) -- he doesn't see it that way. He would only tell me things when I found out about them -- first the lunches and then the texts -- all the time he kept saying at first that it was only the two lunches and that was it. As a matter of fact, when I confronted him about the texting, he said that I couldn't leave things alone and that I had to keep digging. I told him I did because something inside (gut feeling) told me he hadn't fully come clean. He tells me he loves me, always has and that nothing has changed for him. He swears he never touched her or had any intention of doing so but I sometimes think it's because I caught on before it could go any further. To me the first step was texting banter back and forth which I'm sure had sexual innuendo and then the two lunches. I think it might have gone further if I hadn't confronted him. Oh and did I mention my friend is married and had mentioned to me how unhappy she is in her marriage! I had mentioned this to my husband, too, because my friend and I had gone out one night and she chewed my ear off about this -- practically hinting that she was thinking divorce. Oh and, over labor day weekend, she had invited us to a beach day and all she did the entire time on the beach and at dinner (in front of her husband who didn't care) was flaunt her fake t*ts and toss her hair back and forth. I felt so uncomfortable about the entire day and couldn't wait to get the h*ll home! And this was during the time they had texted and had lunch. I feel like such an idiot when I think back. She played me --I thought she was my friend and all the time she was flaunting and showing off her fake assets to my husband. I want to tell her husband but haven't yet. Some days I'm good about my relationship with my husband -- he's been telling me where he goes (since he's on the road so much)and he's been very attentive but I can't stop thinking about this. Should I tell my friend's husband -- who probably doesn't have a clue what a b*tch and fake his wife is? I have the print outs of the texts calls -- he can see how many and how often. Help please....I need advice. Thanks.
BetrayedH Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 This story has been told here before. Care to come clean about that or are you going to make me dig through old threads to find it?
Author rosi Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 I'm sorry if you think I just copied and pasted my story but I'm new to this website and trying to work off a laptop with no mouse. I'm not very good at this and I know that I tried posting the story a while back (actually September 3rd cause it was like 6:30am when I tried posting). I hadn't slept at all that night and I might have screwed up the posting. How do I find my old posting if I already have replies? I posted again because I couldn't find my original posting.
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