stemac Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 hello River 18 years is a long time for you to be on your own, yes depression its so common now, i have it, had it for 20+ years but i learn to live with it, didn't really bother me, till this has happened, the feeling of your world fall apart, So made me very very depressed, doctor gave me anti-depressant, ive not taken them because i know i can get through this dark place she has put me in. yes an Email/text is very much a cowards break up/ just shows what kind of people they really are. its really hard..like your self, no friends or family around i felt like i was going to Explode first few days, when she left me, i had to contact the Samaritans in the UK, my mother been a great help but she going through the same her boyfriend left her after 4 years together, for someone else, I just can understand people anymore, how they can just walk away and not care, what they leave behind my ante been sold for me, she a great person to talk sense into me , but with understanding at the same time, ive put in for some voluntary work at my local hospital last week, i phone them today and its on the way being processed, so hope to hear from them soon i love music.. im a big pink Floyd fan but must admit, some of floyd not good if down lol , so listening to Kate bush at the moment, yes i thought if she new, how much she has destroyed me it would make her think about what she had done, i just didn't want her to get away not knowing the mess she left behind, ive got to admit this women has destroyed me inside, for all the kindness and love i gave her makes it all the worse, BUT!! i can see light at the bottom of this black hole, and i am starting to think, i am lucky, you see she did this a month after we met, then she did it again about 4-5 month ago, and that time it hurt me soo much, she came back again and i forgave her, well course i would, I cared and loved her very much but this time, she destroyed the lot, stamped on my heart till it died, I haven't lost her, she lost me, Im a good person and deserve alot better in a person, and deserve respect, just as i respect back, its her loss not me... hope your feel ok today, keep trying to eat i am getting a bit better every day about food, morning are the worse, i did get upset few times this morning but I am fighting this, and i will win :-)
Author River Rain Posted October 3, 2012 Author Posted October 3, 2012 Yes, 18 years was too long and I can’t get them back. My life experience has taught me that I can’t be timid, I need to move forward and go after what I want because time goes by before you know it. Anti-d’s, if they work (they didn’t for me), are simply a bandaid. In my case, I only started to feel more alive when I allowed myself to feel the emotions. I crawled out of the dark place and I refuse to go back in now. I contacted the Samaritans too a few years back. It was okay, but I needed to talk to people in real time, but reaching out does help. I don’t mind not having friends or family, I set up my life that way on purpose, but talking to people on here is helping me overcome the hurt. Distraction is the best way to move on. I’m keeping as busy as I possibly can so I don’t fall victim of self-pity and more hurt. Our hearts are pretty resilient, there will always be another person we will meet and fall in love with – that’s the hope I’m holding onto and it helps me to stay positive. What you did sounds like what I did, he stomped all over my heart and I took him back twice, only to have him do it again, and the damage was irreparable at that point. I was giving him time, but I knew it was over. My biggest regret was not dumping him first. I had set a personal time line, if by “x” day I didn’t hear from him, he was getting a phone call from me to break up with him. Well, one day before that date, I got the dump email. My bad for taking him back so many times! It’s definitely her loss, as it’s his loss, not mine. We are good people and deserve happiness, respect and love. You’ll still get upset now and then, but as time goes by, it’ll be more good days than bad days. I haven’t cried over him since Tuesday now and I’m so proud of that. I still feel hurt, but I won’t let it control me, I just can’t. You'll win, don't even doubt that! You just have to go through the grief so you don't bottle it up and it comes out in other ways.
2sunny Posted October 3, 2012 Posted October 3, 2012 When you begin to FEEL again - it hurts! Crying is useful! It gets the emotions out! Cry as much as needed!
CopingGal Posted October 6, 2012 Posted October 6, 2012 I know it's with kindness, thanks. But don't get the image of a broken woman crying 24 hours a day on her dog's shoulders. When I'm down, I hug him, he gives me little pug kisses, snuggles in my lap and falls asleep. I don't think he's traumatized at all, he has no anxiety, no signs of sadness at all...I've been his fur-mom for 17 years, he's a happy old-timer who only wants to bring me joy. I'd rather date your dog than my ex.
Author River Rain Posted October 6, 2012 Author Posted October 6, 2012 I'd rather date your dog than my ex. Lol...that totally made me laugh...it's true, my relationship with my little dog is the longest and healthiest one I've had, ha ha...good one. 1
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