Jump to content

Why do I miss him so much lately... want this feeling to stop


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

5 months out of a 4 year relationship, 4 months since i've seen/been with him, didn't speak to him for about 3 months (he tried calling me once exactly 1 month after I saw him but I didn't answer because he hurt me by kissing a girl in front of me 3 weeks after our BU) He contacted me 3 weeks ago and I answered the phone and ever since i've been very wishy washy.

 

I now find myself wanting to contact him. I don't know what I would say or what it would change if I did contact him. I just find myself thinking about him a whole lot lately and I miss him and what we used to have when it was good. I realize now the fights we used to have were stupid and maybe I should have appreciated him a little more and things would have been different... I've gone on dates with 2 guys since the BU but I don't want to be in a relationship and I still feel like i'm waiting for him to come back... I know it's stupid. Just need to vent.

Posted

Gosh I know how you're feeling. Granted, mine was not 4 years. I miss him, I want him back, I wait by the phone, I even hope he'll show up at my door (he lives on the other side of the country). The fights in hindsight are stupid. But what can we do? Everyone says move on. How does one do that? You seem to be doing the right thing, dating other guys. But if your heart is still elsewhere, how do you stop wanting him to come back?

 

I guess I don't have many answers, just lots of empathy for you.

Posted

same boat as you two, but been on NC for 30 days. I did finally email her a few days ago. Kinda was my last ditch effort, but one that gets my last feelings out there before I just give up.

 

Eventually you both will give up like me. You'll realize that person will not come after you. Of if they do, it will be at a time in your life when you've already moved on.

 

It's tough to move on.. I myself find it good a few days and you fall back in the whole the other.

 

My friend told me something.. we feel like crap because WE got left behind. If we had dumped them, we would feel better. Thats why our ex's can go on with their lives. They feel they made a GOOD decision. So they feel good about it. They might have some doubts, but overall they keep telling themselves it was better off because of so and so reasons.

 

We hurt more, because we feel rejected, as if someone was wrong or we feel guilt as if we should done more. I slowly am realizing it doesn't matter now. Sure there might be things we messed up on or coulda done better. But I guarantee our ex's at time messed up too. Except we didn't leave them, so why should we feel bad.

 

As long as we can look at this and improve, we will be okay for tmrw.

 

I know we will miss our ex's but thats because we are attached. Our ex's detached themselves from us and then were able to leave us. While we never got the time to detach ourselves, which is what NC I believe does. It gives us time that our ex's had before us to detach ourselves. Thats the problem with breaking up.

 

The dumper gets the advantage because they remove themselves from us before hand and fire the canon. However, we are attached and we get hit while we are attached. So it hurts more and we see our ex's recover faster because they were already ready to detach and move on. So as dumpee's we are a bit behind in the process. Nothing is wrong with us, just that we got hit when we least expected it.

 

Soon we will detach ourselves and then we will move on too. We will learn they no longer are part of our lives and that they just arent around anymore.

  • Like 2
Posted

I still feel the same way to. I went on one date and it made it realize I still don't want anyone else, still hoping she will come back. It's tough I keep thinking I will just contact her once more and this time she will be happy to hear from me and respond, it sucks.

Posted

I am missing my ex too. And thinking about him a whole lot more these past two days. The fights seem really childish now and so insignificant. All I can really remember are the good times. I wonder if at some point they feel this way as well.

 

I wanted to send a short text and say "hi, how are you doing?". But I am afraid of the rejection and silence which follows. Not sure what else I can say to him now. "Do you miss me???".

 

Maybe in a few months time, I will be able to do that - send a short text, or wish him a merry christmas or happy birthday next year?

 

I miss him a whole lot :(.

  • Author
Posted

It really sucks that we all feel this way but im glad I'm not the only one. Notadriveby I know what you mean. Sometimes I get the urge to text but I'm also scared he won't respond. then is be even more hurt. His birthday is at the end of October. Ive already planned on sending him a happy birthday text. I know it wouldn't change anything but I just want to plant the seed in his head that I'm still here. It's so hard.

×
×
  • Create New...