songbird70 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Ok...so I posted my breakup situation a few days ago so I won't go into all the details again. My problem now is moving forward I've stopped all contact with his family and feeling much better about accepting it's over. It's been 2 months now NC. Well, 2 days ago a family member just showed up out of the blue to come visit me. Apparently since the break up he has been NC with his family as well. when she mentioned I have been trying to get a hold of him, his reply was 'we are not talking right now'...whatever that means...lol. ok, today's dilemma is an old fling called me and wants to come visit. I allowed this man to pop up whenever he wanted to when we were together, so now I'm nervous about him popping up while this man is here. All hope of working things out will be shot out the window. I know I need to move on and stop hoping for something that's not going to happen, but I don't want to loose any chance I may have either.... advice needed :-(
lovejoy41 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Hi Songbird, You pretty much answered your own question. Move on my dear. Whatever is meant to be will be. Whatever you consider moving on, that's what you do. Don't ever sit and pass precious time waiting on someone to be yours again. Life is too short. Enjoy it. If someone comes to your house unannounced, you tell them that they are no longer welcome to do that. Start setting boundaries for yourself. No one should have access to just pop up at your house at will. No one outside of family anyway. If that doesn't work and they pop up again, you call law enforcement. Move on girl and enjoy your newfound life.
River Rain Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Yes, I think also it's time to move on. I let my ex walk all over me because I clung to the hope that we could fight through anything together and still come out strong and in love. But, that was just my desperation to hold on to him, to hold on to something familiar, I only thought of the good memories and turned a blind eye to the reasons why we broke up. You can be strong, you can move on and find new love and happiness that you deserve. 2
lovejoy41 Posted October 1, 2012 Posted October 1, 2012 Hi Songbird, You pretty much answered your own question. Move on my dear. Whatever is meant to be will be. Whatever you consider moving on, that's what you do. Don't ever sit and pass precious time waiting on someone to be yours again. Life is too short. Enjoy it. If he ever comes to your house unannounced, tell him that he is no longer welcome to do that. Start setting boundaries for yourself. No one should have access to just pop up at your house at will. No one outside of family anyway. If that doesn't work and he pops up again, you call law enforcement. You are two separate entities now so he can no longer "just pop up" nor does he have a right to get upset about who you have at your house. You are both single now. I will advise this. "Don't open another door without completely closing the other". If you are not over your b/u, don't rush into something else with your old fling. You would just be rebounding him & that wouldn't be good for either you or him. In that case, focus on YOU and take your time and enjoy being single. No matter which you choose, still move on. 1
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