the_opposite_sex Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 my b/f works Mon-Fri, 8:30am-4:30pm....*we're college students so it's a summer job* He works pretty hard he dont just sit around on his butt, he's a Culligan man heh. He recently told me that he wanted some time to himself on the weekends to unwind and relax. But the thing is, is that we only see each other on the weekends b/c we're 45 min away and want to save money and gas, so we dont see each other during the week. I feel like i'm smothering him now that he's brought this to my attention. All in all, my question is...is it normal for a guy to want some space/alone time?
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Be careful! When a guy asks for space, you must give it to him. If he starts to feel smoothered, he could break up with you. The best thing is to say "that's exactly what I was thinking! Just let me know next time you want to get together." Let him lead and, YOU can decide whether to follow. What I mean is, let him make plans and you can decide whether you want to do it or not. This is in contrast to you making plans with him, making him feel guilty for not coming and therefore making him feel trapped. I can't say whether this is a warning sign or not. It's possible that he is pulling away from you, or it's possible that he IS just tired. Wait and see...
Author the_opposite_sex Posted July 26, 2004 Author Posted July 26, 2004 we've been together for 3.5 yrs. We're opposites, he's more outgoing, i'm not. He likes to have fun all the time (i do too), but i'm more serious, as far as talkin bout serious issues and so forth. We do go to the same college and he made the comment that "we're gonna be seeing each other everyday here in bout 3 wks anyways". Next summer, we plan on gettin a place together as well and he's all for that! So to sit here and think that he's gettin sick of me, would be kinda out of the question since he does want to live w/ me.
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Ooooh, ok, now that i have all the info. Sounds like everything is going well, and he is just tired from this job. I wouldn't worry about it. He is not sick of you, he's just feeling tired and stressed. But if you try to force him to spend time with you, he will get sick of you. 3 weeks is very soon. So just be patient and don't nag him. You'll see him soon!
Fayebelle Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Good relationships take work-you don't want him to feel like he's going from 1 hard labor job to another. Give him some space then make up for it when he has more time in the fall.
Tech76 Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 It is entirely normal for a guy to want to do things on his own once in awhile. That is the way I am. I wouldn't worry about it.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted July 26, 2004 Author Posted July 26, 2004 yeah even tho its hard for me b/c i wanna see him, he's fun to be around and i love him...i'm giving him what he's asked for, which is him having next weekend to himself, and he said he'd probly see me Sunday. And yes, we've really worked hard to keep this relationship going. The one thing that's kept us together is that we love each other very much!
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Sounds good! He will really appreciate it if you let him off the hook for this one. I know it's hard to spend time apart when you love someone, but he'll love you even more for giving him a couple days to himself!
Pained Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I TOTALLY agree with HoldOn! Two weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he needed time to think about things. Well, after two days he realized he was being a moron and how much he missed me, and amended it to, "I want you to be my girlfriend. I just don't want to see you or ANYONE every single day." He likes his time alone to relax, play video games, etc. Now that we're doing that, we're getting along incredibly.
lilylilylilylily Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 IF you want to see him- TELL him- let him know that you like the time spent together since it is rare and only on the weekends. If your both ignoring your friends than that is a problem but why can't you hang out with th efriends in the eves and spend the nights alone. All to often we do what HE wants because WERE afraid of losing him....SHOULDN'T he be afraid of LOSING you.
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