Deleted all our pictures

[ForeverAlone1991]

So I feel like I've been beating a dead horse for so long and that the only thing left for me was to find where to hide the body so to speak.

I had broken no contact and we had started speaking again. He lied and told me that he thought we were meant to be together and realized he wanted to work it out. 3 days later he told me he wanted to break up again because he isn't in love with me and really kept coming back because he was afraid to be alone. it hurt so bad to hear these things. he told me that he was sorry for what he had done to me and he didn't want to play with my emotions anymore. He said that even if he tried to get back together with me again at some point that I should just say no. There was no talking it out this time. We hugged and it was the most awkward thing I've ever felt. There was no attraction between us in that moment. no need to hold on. I loved him dearly but I was so sick of being treated like trash. I wanted this so badly but I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I would rather suffer now until I feel better then continue this emotionally roller coaster from ****ing hell.

 

That was yesterday. I woke up this morning and deleted all of our pictures.

IT WAS BY FAR THE WORST PART OF THE BREAK UP SO FAR.

I bawled my eyes out with my hand on the delete button wondering if I should really erase all these memories. Memories where once upon a time we were happy and really loved eachother....or so I had thought.

I pushed through it and I did it. I deleted every single one. It was so painful I could hardly even bare it but I know it had to be done.

 

&& Now I am just sitting here. Half numb half dying inside.

Even though this has been coming for god knows how long.

Its still so hard to even comprehend as a reality.

I am wondering when it will all really sink it.

I wonder what I can do to start the healing process.

 

Word of advice. Don't break NC only bad things will come of it.

I couldn't of been an extra week ahead in healing and NC but instead I broke it and ended up getting hurt immediately all over again.

& None of us here deserve that.

We deserve to heal.

We deserve to be loved.

[LostOne1]

super tough to do.. I still have pictures of my ex and I haven't got the guts to delete them. I don't know if she deleted our pics, she had more than I did of us. But for now I haven't deleyted them, because im not fully healed yet. I'm sure at some point I will want to get rid of them when im fully over her.

[MilitantPacifist]

I know it sucks but my advice to anyone else reading this is don't do it. Put the pictures away (in a lockbox or storage bin if you don't want the temptation) but don't destroy them.

 

Some day you might want them again. Might be 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years from now, who knows?

 

It's not healthy to look at them now while you're moving on. But it'll be perfectly healthy if you want to reminisce down the road about good times you have. It's effectively like throwing a part of your life in the trash can.

[JayL]

I deleted all of my pictures with all of my ex girlfriends.

 

Now I look back and feel nothing even when I remember all the good things we had.

 

I still have baggage though from my last one whom I've broken up with 3 weeks ago.

 

I hate her for screwing me over, but want her back... When I picture it in my head though that we're back together, I just don't see things going back to how things used to be and see it crashing down again in just a matter of time.

 

Sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do to move on....

[beyond]

So I feel like I've been beating a dead horse for so long and that the only thing left for me was to find where to hide the body so to speak.

I had broken no contact and we had started speaking again. He lied and told me that he thought we were meant to be together and realized he wanted to work it out. 3 days later he told me he wanted to break up again because he isn't in love with me and really kept coming back because he was afraid to be alone. it hurt so bad to hear these things. he told me that he was sorry for what he had done to me and he didn't want to play with my emotions anymore. He said that even if he tried to get back together with me again at some point that I should just say no. There was no talking it out this time. We hugged and it was the most awkward thing I've ever felt. There was no attraction between us in that moment. no need to hold on. I loved him dearly but I was so sick of being treated like trash. I wanted this so badly but I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I would rather suffer now until I feel better then continue this emotionally roller coaster from ****ing hell.

 

That was yesterday. I woke up this morning and deleted all of our pictures.

IT WAS BY FAR THE WORST PART OF THE BREAK UP SO FAR.

I bawled my eyes out with my hand on the delete button wondering if I should really erase all these memories. Memories where once upon a time we were happy and really loved eachother....or so I had thought.

I pushed through it and I did it. I deleted every single one. It was so painful I could hardly even bare it but I know it had to be done.

 

&& Now I am just sitting here. Half numb half dying inside.

Even though this has been coming for god knows how long.

Its still so hard to even comprehend as a reality.

I am wondering when it will all really sink it.

I wonder what I can do to start the healing process.

 

Word of advice. Don't break NC only bad things will come of it.

I couldn't of been an extra week ahead in healing and NC but instead I broke it and ended up getting hurt immediately all over again.

& None of us here deserve that.

We deserve to heal.

We deserve to be loved.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting. It must have been so painful to hear those words. I know you may not want to hear this at the moment, but at least he was honest with you in the end.

 

You are off the merry-go-round now.

 

Be kind to yourself. Take long baths, get out and about, see your friends, get a new haircut (a cliche - but one that helps!).

 

It sounds like you may be second guessing your decision to delete those pictures. Don't. You did what you thought was right for you. Those memories will always be there in your head when you want to recall them.