Necromancer Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I hear people here say that "intelligence" is so attractive and how they hate dumb people yada yada... Really the most exiting girls i have seen where dumb as a vacuum, they just said and did whatever when they wanted to. I think in general around the age of 20, people don´t give a **** about their parkners intelligence. Intelligence doesn't mean = good personality. And dumb = bad personality.
ThaWholigan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I think you make a good point with regards to intelligence not equaling a good personality - as well as a dumb person also not meaning they have a bad personality. I've noticed people who are simple in nature tend to be happier and less cynical in fact . Either way, intelligence is sexy to some people - me in particular. Probably not many in your age-group. It also depends on your demographic, where in some circles, intelligence is a desired trait - while in the demographic you seem to be in, more base traits (i.e. good looks) set a very high precedence compared to other traits. There are a lot of people like this, and I tend to see them in the more socially buzzing places I frequent. 1
GirlontheLam Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Intelligence sticks around a lot longer than looks. Intelligence + good personality = #winning 1
MrCastle Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Nothing gets me hotter than a woman that can hold her own intellecually and give me a witty/clever back and forth banter when we flirt, but am I wrong for also liking airheads from time to time? Sometimes they say/do the darndest things and it makes me laugh. And making me laugh is a turn on.
Titanwolf Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 An intelligent man, knows how to appeal to an intelligent woman and vice-versa. These types of relationships are ideal because you can only gain more knowledge as you grow. For my friends and I, intelligence in a potential partner is a necessity. 3
xpaperxcutx Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I look at it this way, some semblance of intelligence and humility should always go together. There are alot of smart people in this world, don't get me wrong, but there are does who hold their intelligence a little higher than others and they place themselves on a pedestal. It's all about balance.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 (edited) Evolutionary psychologist think that intelligence came about by a combination of necessity and sexual selection. We lived on African grasslands, don't run fast, and don't have teeth and claws. If intelligence wasn't attractive to hominids. Then it would never evolve. The question is since one cannot see intelligence how does one know it's there? The woman who can develop a better spear, or man who can control fire, is more attractive. The proof of intelligence is in what you do with it. The proof of intelligence is creativity. This is the best explanation I can find. Health Correlator: Certain mental disorders may have evolved as costs of attractive mental traits There is another reason why ancestral women might have possessed certain traits that they selected for in ancestral men. Like anything that involves intelligence in humans, the sex applying selection pressure (i.e., female) must be just as intelligent as (if not more than) the sex to which selection pressure is applied (i.e., males). Peahens do not have to have big and brightly colored trains to select male peacocks that have them. That is not so with anything that involves intelligence (in any of its many forms, like creative and interpersonal intelligence), because intelligence must be recognized through communication and behavior, which itself requires intelligence. Intelligent people pick other intelligent people, or people more intelligent than themselves. xxpapercutx I look at it this way, some semblance of intelligence and humility should always go together. There are alot of smart people in this world, don't get me wrong, but there are does who hold their intelligence a little higher than others and they place themselves on a pedestal. True. I know quite a few such people. A good example of what you say, about needing humility, is this man. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMaBmik4VYg (Richard P Feynman on the Nobel Prize) So long as one isn't so humble no one ever notices them. Edited September 29, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
O'farrell Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Social intelligence is not the same as intelligence. Intelligence is not necessary.
Mycteria Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I've very recently discovered that intelligence is the only thing I really care about. I knew it was really important to me, but I didn't realize just how important. I thought that physical attraction was just as important but now I realize that intelligence is the ONLY thing that turns me on. I've recently dated guys that were incredibly gorgeous but they just didn't do it for me because they didn't excite my mind. Most girls look at my ex and think "wow, he's gorgeous." Every time we would go out, he'd have girls fawning all over him. But he could never keep my physically interested in him and our sex life was never great. Now I'm dating someone new and he has made me realize that intelligence is really the only thing I should be paying attention to.
Mycteria Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Intelligence and common sense are polar opposites. Someone can possess book smart intelligent but lack street smarts and social intelligence such as tact. The term is very relative and subjective. Definitely not polar opposites, just different forms of intelligence. And someone can have both.
CptObvious Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Emotional intelligence is the only intelligence I care about. I don't care if the bitch can't read as long as she can control herself.
Els Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 OP, have you ever heard of the saying "birds of a feather flock together"? I don't think anyone is surprised that you love 'vacuums'. S'all good.
insertnamehere Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I like intelligence in a woman, but it's not a dealbreaker if she's not the brightest.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I agree that intelligence absolutely does not equal a "good personality." Also intelligence is not a "personality trait."
O'farrell Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Someone needs to be slightly intelligent for it to be considered attractive. Not smart enough to be more of a thinker than a doer, but just smart enough to notice some things that other people don't. Lets say if your IQ is only about 5-10 points higher than average, you're going to notice things other people won't and you will be able to mentally stimulate people, but you're not smart enough to be analytical in nature and think more than do. I hope this makes sense it is late and I am tired.
Minka333 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I always get an "invisible orgasmic high" from brain**** with someone who has a brilliant mind. It is a special place no penis can enter.*So when it comes to dating, i weed out those who only thinks with their "head" below. An intelligent man that stimulates my mind is someone i can imagine engaging endless thoughts/conversations with when i grow old. By that time, when all my libido is gone, i still have a piece of him i can intimately connect with. Anybody can have sex with anybody at any given time.. and that's about it! But a person that could penetrate my soul is someone truly unforgettable.
sweetheart5381 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 What is intelligence anyway? How do we assess it? Is someone who can answer every question on Jeopardy intelligent? Perhaps... My definition of an intelligent person is: One who seeks out knowledge for the purpose of converting it into wisdom. Application folks! Logic would dictate that an intelligent person, with this ability will be more successful in dating because they keenly and purposely acquire knowledge with the intent to intrigue the mind of the other person. In addition, an intelligent person can quickly gauge another's knowledge in a variety of conversational subjects and guide the conversation so that it is comfortable and enjoyable for both parties. IE - they know when to "dumb it down" or speak expertly when appropriate. They tend to also be good listeners, always paying attention to other more subtle cues like body-language, tone, etc. Intelligent people have the ability to change another's perception of them, simply by using what they know of the other person. While intelligence is not a personality trait, it does in fact impact the way others perceive you personality-wise.
Taramere Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 In real life (if not on this board) I'm a bit of a people pleaser/peacemaker rather than a teacher/disciplinarian. I will often find myself being lectured to by people who clearly aren't that bright and don't really know what they're talking about. Unless I'm acting in a professional context (ie as their adviser or opponent in a formal debating setting) I'll just let them carry on lecturing me and just respond in a politely interested way. It sounds awful and dishonest when I read it, but I think life would be unbearable if every time I encountered somebody like that I started contradicting them - with all the pointlessness, frustration and conflict that entails. In real life, if I'm arguing with you or contradicting you it means I respect your intellectual and emotional intelligence enough to think you can and will consider an alternative point of view. My brother's similar. Other than when he's arguing on the internet, he can't really be bothered contradicting people who are lecturing from a position of ignorance. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, is a know it all. A while back there was some BBC show on that measured IQ. Both she and my brother did it. He got something like 145 whereas her IQ was around the average mark. Needless to say she was shocked by the disparity, whereas a more perceptive person wouldn't have been remotely surprised. Despite the disparity, their marriage works. To be honest, that requires my brother to dumb down to a degree that is a betrayal and waste of his gifts....but he's always been happy to do that. It's not his wife's fault. As long as people have a decent amount of self awareness, I don't much care what their intelligence level is. I see the benefit of boyfriends as being to provide physical affection and to lighten me up rather than to complicate life even further for me. However, I only tend to attract men who value intelligence...so the chances of my life being lightened up by a happy simpleton are fairly minimal.
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