blue_jay_bird Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 The last thing i said to my ex was, " Only, ever contact me if you want a second chance with me" he, said, "No, i think we are over". I then set up another meeting, to which he said yes. I then texted him and cancelled this meeting, "saying, there's no point as you said it's over." I was strong the first half, and crumble and did a little crumbling in the end. I guess what i'm asking is: Is telling the person only contact me if you want a second chance, i sign of weakness or strength. I'm in the gray here, i think it sounds a little needy.
okiedokie Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 No it's not weak or needy. You were in a relationship and you stated that you are not interested in downgrading yourself from love to just friends. The hard part is keeping true to this statement. You will have moments of weakness where you want to reach out to him and it's completely natural as you are healing but you need to remember that he stated he is only willing to be friends. Friendship is not possible until BOTH parties are healed and over the relationship and no longer harbor any romantic feelings.
Calico Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I think it's good that you cancelled the second meeting. It doesn't matter whether it looks strong or weak, because people who tell you they are finished with you no longer matter, and that includes what they think or feel. Saying "only contact me if you want a second chance" to someone who dumped you is a little superfluous and desperate, but I did that too and as I said, it's not relevant what they think. If you had not said it, it would have bugged you that you didn't make that clear enough, even though there is never a need to say that to the dumper.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 I think it's good that you cancelled the second meeting. It doesn't matter whether it looks strong or weak, because people who tell you they are finished with you no longer matter, and that includes what they think or feel. Saying "only contact me if you want a second chance" to someone who dumped you is a little superfluous and desperate, but I did that too and as I said, it's not relevant what they think. If you had not said it, it would have bugged you that you didn't make that clear enough, even though there is never a need to say that to the dumper. It's very hard as the dumpee to understand the dumper. But yeah, he's done, to him. But for me its so hard be in this mind state. My heart is not with my head, maybe one day it will be.
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