Titania22 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Hey Guys, I might be seeing my ex-bf for lunch in the coming week. I haven't seen him in a couple of years and don't talk to him at all. I texted him just to let him know I had some letters addressed to him and he suggested lunch. I just feel a bit weird about it. I like my past to stay there, nice and forgotten. On the bright side, he has been flaky in the past so there is a good chance he will cancel. Any of you got to see an ex after a couple of years (we broke up 4.5yrs ago, and I can't remember exactly when I last saw him)? How did it go?
Author Titania22 Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 I was thinking about it last night when I was having trouble sleeping, and I think I might cancel. Should I or Should I have lunch with him? I can't think of anything good that could come out of seeing him again. Does anyone have an opinion?
Regrets58 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Hi,my situation slightly different as we had been exchanging friendly emails. However almost exactly 2 years since I last saw her,met ex for a drink. This was in May and it went very well,had a lovely night. Contacted her after my latest R ended,mostly to apologise for not being in touch.Last G/F became a little uncomfortable with us being in contact. Never asked me to stop,just thought it was for the best. Have to admit still carry a bit of a torch for her,probably always will! Anyway,long story short,we had a fun night and caught up. Was mildly disappointed that nothing more came out of it. However am just happy that we are still friends.
Author Titania22 Posted September 30, 2012 Author Posted September 30, 2012 Thankyou for your response. It is somewhat different for me. At the time I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and I was devastated when he left. I am long over him, but I haven't had a relationship since. He also owes me alot of money which he is paying off incredibly slowly, and I am worried he will use this get together to manipulate his way out of his debt. And despite the fact I am over him, I still don't want to hear if he has met someone new (which seems likely given the length of time since we were together). I really don't give a damn to know anything about his current life. In fact the only thing I would like to hear from him, is that he is giving me the money to clear the debt, and even clear a large part of it. I am excited about my life now, and the people I will meet now. I have no interesting in reminiscing about the past.
DC4 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 I saw my ex on Friday after 18 months. I haven't even spoken to him on the phone during that time. It was weird at first but after a few beers (wasn't going to do that without beers) we had a really great time. I still care about him a lot and I was worried we'd end up at an off-site location if you know what I mean, but nothing like that happened. It was nice to see an old friend and be able to have the in-jokes and say the things I can't say to anyone else on the planet. Difficult parts: he had been dating which sucks because I have had a REALLY difficult time dating. It was more like I was jealous that he could find lots of dates and I was struggling. He makes considerably more money than I do so he's able to do all kinds of fun things like trips and concerts that I can't do since our divorce easier parts: this is so juvenile and petty and I don't care. I look a lot better!!
january2011 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Every time I've seen an ex, it tends to be awkward and occasionally a little bit painful. If you can't stomach an hour of lunch, you might consider texting him and saying that something came up so you can't do lunch, but you can quickly meet him just to hand over the letters. A little passive-aggressive, but I don't see why you must force yourself to spend an hour of your time with someone you really don't want anything to do with. You don't have anything to prove, to yourself or anyone else. You might also consider asking him to notify the mail carrier of his new address so that any future mail can be redirected automatically. Notifying the sender of those letters would also help. After 4.5 years, you really shouldn't be receiving any of his mail and be put in a position to have to do him favours by forwarding it to him.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 The 3 hours I spent when my ex came to give me my things back (after not seeing him for 6 months), were pretty horrible. He insisted on dragging up all the crap from why our relationship failed. I tried to steer things to lighter topics but he kept at it until he made me cry...The whole experience was :sick: I would make up an excuse next time...it's just not natural.
Leigh 87 Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 Nothing good will come of it, unless your both completely happy, over each other, and happy enough in our own dating life so as to now be jealous (on account of having met great people already) It would only really work if you had met someone special, and therefore were totally happy and did not feel any sadness over the past (since you have new people) I strongly recommend cancelling! Why return his letters to him when he is not paying you back your money? Taking the high road is one thing; but going out of your way to give him bloody letters, when he cannot even be bothered putting in the effprt to pay you back your money ( when I know your a mum and much need it), to me, is being a pushover. Too nice....
Author Titania22 Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 Thanks Guys, I haven't cancelled yet, but I think I will, tomorrow or wednesday. No need to rush. When he has cancelled on me in the past, he did so at a moments notice. All in all having this come up, has made me realise just how over the past and excited for my future I am. I really am not a reminiscing living in the past sort of person. Leigh 87 - He is paying off his debt, but extremely slowly. So it could take him another 10yrs. I would just rather it was paid off completely and done. I would be screwed paying the debt given the rate at which he makes payments, if I hadn't already made efforts to pay it off myself.
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