Finally made the break and I miss him so much! Need help with the pain.

[supergirl79]

Well, I finally made the break with my boyfriend of 10 months, whom I truly love. I finally decided last night that it was over. Not only did he move out on Tuesday of last week, he worked shift work (Thurs, Fri, Sat, and every other wednesday nights) so his shift begins at 7PM and he gets off as I"m going to work....plus works weekends and sleeps most of the rest of Sunday - so what I"m getting at is, I never saw him even when we did live together and since he moved out, I haven't seen him in 5 days. I was really worried about him moving out because he's pretty selfish and inconsiderate so I kinda knew he wouldn't be able to find time for me, which turned out to be the case. I've posted a few posts in the past on this guy, and he wasn't the greatest guy in the world, but I couldn't help that I loved him and continued to try and hold on. Well last night we were supposed to hang out and I waited and waited until about 9PM, when I shut off my phone. I had made dinner and got him a housewarming gift, stupid stuff that I shouldn't do anyway, and he "lost track of time" and finally called at 9:30. Well, I work a regular job from 8-5 so staying up much after 9:30 doesn't always happen. I was so mad that i called him back and told him to get the rest of his stuff, and never call me again. He has been telling me he still wants me to be his girlfriend but I can't have a relationship with a guy that I never see....he calls every day, it's almost like we have a long distance relationship and live in the same town. So after last night's disappointment, I was done (there was MUCH leading up to this) - he simply does not and will not make time for me.

 

I am so sad today but I know I need to stick to my gut feeling. He told me he's going to call today and I told him not to call me anymore and then I said "why don't you call me when you actually miss me" - which could be months from now. The thing is, I'm not desperate, I have plenty of things going for me and could easily get another guy - but i want this one! I'm not sure what to do next, I feel so lost and confused - I'm sure he'll call within the next couple days, but I know I need to ignore his calls and then I can start the healing process. He's erally good at manipulating me into doing whatever he wants and getting me to take him back. He just turns something around on me, makes me feel bad and then I feel like it's my fault so I take him back! Normally, I'm a super-confident person, but he's got me to the point where I feel so small and am trying to hard! I hate to say things between us would NEVER work out (I'm 25 he's 29) - but probably can't be friends right now. Would it be out of line to write my feelings and our situation in a letter to give to him so he knows why I made the decision I made, or is it better to turn the tables, act like I don't care and just assume that it's over for good. He has a way with word to weaken me, and I'm already vulnerable - he's been playing games with me for quite sometime and there's a part of me that wants to turn those games around on him! But, I'm not sure if that's the mature way to handle my anger/sadness/frustration? He says he loves me very much, but he NEVER proves this to me....it's always over the phone, since we never see each other. On top of that, he never thinks of me! I care so much about him and want him to be so happy, of course with me, but apparently that's not the case. HOw can I get myself out of this vicious cycle i'm in with him, get stronger, and feel like i'm getting my point across with him? I'm very wishy-washy - I really don't want to break up, but he doesn't care about me anymore so it's what i have to do. Can anyone help me get through this and offer some advice as for how to handle things with him? He's obviously going to try and keep me because he doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't really want me, but he doesn't want me to be with anyone else?! Help!

[manofmystrey]

Hey supergirl79

 

I understand the pain that u are going through. Its not easy breaking up with someone. But if u know he is selfish u should find someone that will give u all u deserve and a person that will give u the time u deserve and appreciate u waiting up for him to call and someone that will never take u for granted.

[supergirl79]

Thanks for your support manofmystrey -

 

Do you think I should attempt to do anything, or just let it go? It's always hard to stop all contact, but I know he'll try to contact me again - how should i handle it? Should I even talk to him, or just let the phone continue to ring? Should I even bother with a letter or email? I'm so confused and I think my emotions are taking over all thought processes!

[manofmystrey]

Hey supergirl79

 

Our gut always tells us to pick up the phone and or to write a letter and or a email but by doing this u are giveing ur emotions into the palm of his hand and u dont to do that. U dont want to let him be in controll of ur emotions u dont want him to call come to u when it is convenient for him. That is not love. U should never have to settle for him. U will find someone that will give u the world and then some. Love is not a settlement love is give and take. If or when he calls act like u are moving on never let him see ur pain, never let him be in controll and he will realise he made a mistake. Or u will meet someone that will treat u like the queen u are.