pinkie Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Is it not normal for couples to talk about their ex's or why the previous relationship failed? (not on a 1st date of course, but after 6 months or more when the new relationship is more grounded...) or is it nobody's business, or too personal and perhaps should not be discussed with significant other?
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Is it not normal for couples to talk about their ex's or why the previous relationship failed? (not on a 1st date of course, but after 6 months or more when the new relationship is more grounded...) or is it nobody's business, or too personal and perhaps should not be discussed with significant other? i think it is up to the individuals in question.....i don't care about my partners past when i have a partner i only care about what we are doing i don't want to compare relationships ......or have a bias that would impede the current relationship from being all it could be.....if a partner wanted to share with me his past relationship and if i felt there was damage done i would do what i could to build him up again i would listen for those cues..... that would be my only interest....in making the relationship stronger....better for both i am not insecure that i could give a partner what they needed I am experienced enough.... i am more insecure before starting a relationship than in one...because i have a past and i would want them to know me, i would share whatever they wanted to know.... and share what i feel they should know.......i am insecure because i dont want to be discarded.....for a past i have regret for and things that were out of my control.... in saying that i would always take this risk........so yep insecurity that i feel i consider to be normal and in normal range.....i would survive though....i always do...im not infallible though....i do get hurt.. so ill state sharing a past is not something you should judge someone on or base your relationship on......if you want or need to know you need to know..its up to the individuals in question want they want to know or hear..but with that information and shared past, serve it with an understanding and compassion that sometimes bad relationships and pasts happen doesnt mean that the persons future or future relationships are all doomed to fail........best wishes......deb
Author pinkie Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Thanks Deb, that was a great objective answer to my question. Appreciate it!
FitChick Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I like hearing about a guy's exes. I want to know what he liked or didn't like about them, what went wrong, how he feels about it. If he blames them all the time, that is a bad sign. If he acknowledges he made mistakes and is determined not to repeat them, it shows me he can learn from the past.
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