bob the brave Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 met a girl at work, got along great...yada, yada. The short version is I was out plalyed by a playa and lost her. She is a single mother in her late 30s but still likes to party. Although my sex drive and performance are great, my attraction for girls is personality first. If they are a knockout, great, if not, I have found once you get to know a person looks just aren't that important and a LTR can't be built on sex alone. Well, it takes time to get to know someone and she apparently wanted sex first. I was too 'nice' and slow and playa simply moved in for the kill. He cared nothing about her personaly. After a while she realized she wanted more and came back to me. Well, both the playa and she weren't to nice to me during their fling, so I declined her affection which really pissed her off. Now she is getting married to someone outside the company and I feel like ****. I love people. I love hearing childhood stories, accounts of their day,what they love, hate, exchange ideas and advice. I find sharing everyday experiences far more intimate and satifsfying in a life sustaining way then sex. No, I am not gay and yes I think I am typically masculine. I just like things that really matter. I think her fallout with the playa and return to me supports this theory. My problem is women seem to hate this. They say they want this, but it seems they really want to be chased and play games. They love the attention. So, using the above approach usually falls flat. I think this girl lost a terriffic friend and lover because she wanted to play games first and sadly even hates me because I rejected her. I think this causes them to underestimate me sexually. If they could till I get there, they would be happily surprised, but things rarely get that far, lately. So, tell me, do girls really like the so called 'sensitive' stuff or is it a waste of time?
Pyro Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 You dodged a bullet there. Game playing is for immature people. You are going to meet plenty of women who like her only want sex and will fall for the player BS and that is no loss to you, but there are also plenty of women who will want what you want. Sensitive is fine as long as you don't overdue it.
SJC2008 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 You wanted to date and she wanted to phuk and she got phuked.
ThaWholigan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Girls like the sensitive stuff, but half the time you have to let them know that you are a sexual person just to balance it out or a lot of them tend to put you in that asexual zone they place certain guys in. And sharing things about their day and talking about childhood memories etc, are things that they can do with friends, old and new. As I have realised, part of the game is simply letting her know you are interested. Give her a glimpse of your passion or your sexuality. Know how to work it, how to say it to her. You should still do all the sensitive stuff, but having that sexual element, that edge will make you a more dynamic proposition for a woman. 2
sweet2th Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Many women, especially those that struggle with self esteem issues, are flattered when men find them "hot". Perhaps we don't feel that attractive and when some guy chases us, we feel sexy and desirable. Playa probably said all the right things and was very attentive and aggressive. Inevitably we do come back down to earth and reality hits us. We find we do want a long term relationship kind of guy that makes us feel secure and loved. I say we, because that woman is me at times. It has been a struggle for me in the past, I am drawn towards the players because the sensitive men who fall in love with me for me are too easy. Too bad she was rude to you because she obviously realized her mistake. Sounds like she is marrying on the rebound possibly?
carhill Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Is being sensitive yhe kiss of death for a guy?IME, probably better to be that way on your own nickel and show that side only to those who've earned the privilege. Regarding 'want', go by what women are attracted to, as evidenced by actions. Words are social lubrication. If the actions are synergistic, they are. If not, next.
ja123 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I love people. I love hearing childhood stories, accounts of their day,what they love, hate, exchange ideas and advice. .... So, tell me, do girls really like the so called 'sensitive' stuff or is it a waste of time? I like guys similar to you, bob! And that doesn't mean I'm not into hot, dirty s*x, either. You can have both! One aspect can help the other, IMO. You just need to find a women who has the same view of intimacy and a similar rhythm to yourself. Perhaps look outside of your work to meet people ... more artistic types perhaps? But as Carhill said ... make sure she's earned the privilege.
Quiet Storm Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Is being sensitive yhe kiss of death for a guy? No. Being a pushover is the kiss of death for a guy.
insertnamehere Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 She is a single mother in her late 30s but still likes to party. Well, hell son. Right there's yer problem! Late 30s chicks still living the party girl life aren't looking for sensitive guys. They're look for full-on aggression. They don't have time for all your "getting to know you" BS.
bac Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 She is a single mother in her late 30s but still likes to party. Now she is getting married to someone outside the company and I feel like ****. I think this girl lost a terriffic friend and lover because she wanted to play games first and sadly even hates me because I rejected her. So, tell me, do girls really like the so called 'sensitive' stuff or is it a waste of time? Girls do love sensitive stuff coupled with sex. You said that she wanted to play games. But, IRL she wanted to get married as soon as possible. She was probably agree on anyone half-decent and available. She did not want to waste her time on your complex games when you first rejected her but, then, wanted her to figure out that you wanted her back. That is too complex for a girl in 30s with a kid who needs a daddy. 1
threebyfate Posted September 30, 2012 Posted September 30, 2012 A single mother in her late thirties who likes to party. What's wrong with this picture if you're a sensitive relationship style guy? Not a good match. As a consideration, look for sensitive or pragmatic relationship style women instead. Party girls are not for you.
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