Women what makes a man F***able vs Datable

[somedude81]

Frankly, I'd love to be either.

[SandRat]

Sorry for the language but we're all adults here. Now I'm having really bad luck with women. Either I'm not interested in them in the long term or when I get interested in them it all goes down hill. I literally bumped into an old friend tonight and her and I were talking. She was asking about my personal life and I said I've been dating but nothing serious. Her reply was well you've always been the f***able one just not the datable one. Who says that! I feel like I'm a keeper. Yes some might take that as a compliment but can't I be doable and dateable?

 

So women what makes us men doable vs dateable?

 

Lol! You don't get it do you? Well, of course you don't, you're asking the questions here.

 

It's real simple, quit doin the horizontal bop on the first date. Or even at all. make THEM wait! Lol! Give it a try, you might be surprised.

 

If an old bastard like me can still make 'em weak kneed I'm guessing someone without one foot in the grave can too, you think?

[NoMoreJerks]

Ah, yes. Conclusive proof of what I've always been saying. Treating women like crap will make them want to jump your bones. Hypothesis proven.

First off, I did not say I'd **** a guy who treats women like ****. I said I might consider it. Considering it does not mean doing it, except maybe in your twisted dictionary. I said there is perhaps 1% chance that I might sleep with such a man, and I was being generous with that number. It's closer to 0%. And whatever chance there is that I might do it, has nothing to do with the way the man has treated/talked about women.... Maybe with the looks or with how horny I am at the moment, etc. But even that -- like I said -- will not help a guy get laid (in my books anyway) if he does not respect me.

 

That said, a ONS has none of the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship/dating, and so, it makes more sense for douchebags to get laid but not to get dated. They're just there to satisfy some women's sexual needs (not all, since not all women are into ONS -- I for one am not). In other words, it's not just that the guy is using the woman as a hole to penetrate, but the woman using the guy as something to penetrate herself with. lol! Actually, both think along the same lines, hence the ONE night stand. So take whatever lesson you will from my post, but "if I act like a douchebag women will come running after me" is not one of them.

Edited September 29, 2012 by NoMoreJerks

[jcrew11]

I have to admit, I don't want a gold-digger bf either... doesn't make me "Alpha" female, just means I respect myself and the accomplishments I have achieved. I also don't mind if a man has not achieved in his pursuits (low earning men) to date. Their time will come if they work hard enough.

 

Bottom line, I don't want a husband, someone to support me and I certainly expect that they do not want that either. Independence is key. I want a man that has a dream, a desire, and is willing to pursue it. If that's the case then I hope they would like my company along the way.

 

Its good that you are open-minded to dating low-earning men.

But I see "being ambitious" is just another code word for "get rich someday"

 

Its a nicer way for single women to say they "care about how rich a man is" without seeming like a gold-digger. Now instead of saying "how rich a man is present-day" they want to find a "man that will be rich in the future"!

 

I think its completely fair for "ambitious women" to marry "ambitious men" but I think that bottom-line women prefer men who are rich or who will someday be rich. After all, women have to find men to financially support the children.

[GirlontheLam]

Its good that you are open-minded to dating low-earning men.

But I see "being ambitious" is just another code word for "get rich someday"

 

Its a nicer way for single women to say they "care about how rich a man is" without seeming like a gold-digger. Now instead of saying "how rich a man is present-day" they want to find a "man that will be rich in the future"!

 

I think its completely fair for "ambitious women" to marry "ambitious men" but I think that bottom-line women prefer men who are rich or who will someday be rich. After all, women have to find men to financially support the children.

 

Being ambitious is a mindset. Someone who is ambitious is likely always striving for more, better, and extra. I am ambitious. I don't believe in just taking what I get, so if you aren't ambitious, we are incompatible. It has nothing to do with how much money you get along the way.

 

An unmotivated trust-fund or independently wealthy guy is equally as unappealing as an unmotivated low wage worker.

[january2011]

In my opinion, strong "rip his clothes off and jump him" sexual attraction but zero/minimal compatibility = f'able.

 

Increased compatibility = dateable.

[sweetheart5381]

May I inquire as to your age?

 

I am 37, happily single, and do not foresee that changing anytime soon

[sweetheart5381]

Its good that you are open-minded to dating low-earning men.

But I see "being ambitious" is just another code word for "get rich someday"

 

Its a nicer way for single women to say they "care about how rich a man is" without seeming like a gold-digger. Now instead of saying "how rich a man is present-day" they want to find a "man that will be rich in the future"!

 

I think its completely fair for "ambitious women" to marry "ambitious men" but I think that bottom-line women prefer men who are rich or who will someday be rich. After all, women have to find men to financially support the children.

 

Put it this way... men and women ultimately want the same thing... mutual respect and this is often displayed through having common ideologies, values and attitudes.

 

I don't ever care to be rich and I do not necessarily respect people that are rich, based upon their wealth alone. What I do respect is the work ethic and risk that is involved with pursuing a goal, even though one may never get "rich".

 

And I have never, ever relied on a man to financially support my children. I have 3 kids, btw and made it very clear to the Dads that I never, ever want their money. I am the provider for the children I bore.

 

Time to let go of societal stereotypes and start seeing women as equals my friend.

Edited September 29, 2012 by sweetheart5381

[MilitantPacifist]

First off, I did not say I'd **** a guy who treats women like ****. I said I might consider it. Considering it does not mean doing it, except maybe in your twisted dictionary. I said there is perhaps 1% chance that I might sleep with such a man, and I was being generous with that number. It's closer to 0%. And whatever chance there is that I might do it, has nothing to do with the way the man has treated/talked about women.... Maybe with the looks or with how horny I am at the moment, etc. But even that -- like I said -- will not help a guy get laid (in my books anyway) if he does not respect me.

 

That said, a ONS has none of the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship/dating, and so, it makes more sense for douchebags to get laid but not to get dated. They're just there to satisfy some women's sexual needs (not all, since not all women are into ONS -- I for one am not). In other words, it's not just that the guy is using the woman as a hole to penetrate, but the woman using the guy as something to penetrate herself with. lol! Actually, both think along the same lines, hence the ONE night stand. So take whatever lesson you will from my post, but "if I act like a douchebag women will come running after me" is not one of them.

 

Lighten up lady. I was being sarcastic - ie, I meant the opposite of what I said. I figured it was ridiculous enough that that would be clear.

 

Apparently Poe's Law is in full force here.

[SteveC80]

Contrary to popular belief most women dont always need a huge emotional attatchment to have sex,just like men if a women is really physcially attracted to a guy she just wants him to bang her brains out in the worst way wheter shes fond of him as a person or not

[SmileFace]

I didn't know there was a difference. There are guys who I will have sex with and guys who I won't(friends). However a guy being fu(kable or datable.. falls into the same category of guys you will have sex wih. Him being datable or fu(kable depends more on what he wants or if I am looking for a relationship.

[NoMoreJerks]

Lighten up lady. I was being sarcastic - ie, I meant the opposite of what I said. I figured it was ridiculous enough that that would be clear.

 

Apparently Poe's Law is in full force here.

hahaha. Ooops, sorry! I came across a few people who really believed in that stuff, and who commentd on my posts, so I thought you were one of them.

[xxoo]

In my opinion, strong "rip his clothes off and jump him" sexual attraction but zero/minimal compatibility = f'able.

 

Increased compatibility = dateable.

 

Agreed.

 

One major dealbreaker could remove a guy from "dateable". For example, he could be a really fun guy, charming, sexy, and compatible in many ways--but if he has an alcohol problem: not dateable.

[MilitantPacifist]

hahaha. Ooops, sorry! I came across a few people who really believed in that stuff, and who commentd on my posts, so I thought you were one of them.

 

It's cool. My humor's pretty dry so I'm used to people misunderstanding it, especially in digital form.

[Caryopteris]

Doable: Hot, sexy, the right mix of naughty and nice for your taste.

 

Dateable: Is there a future? Will he fit in with your friends and family? Do you like his personality in the long run without seeing a lot of things you'd feel the need to correct. Guys don't mind tiny improvements, but the idea that a woman wants to change them usually upsets them. Or else they agree to change, but of course they only do it until they feel the relationship is in the bag.

 

So what you need are women to tell you what these issues are so you will know whether you want to change them or not. Maybe you just talk too much politics or have grease under your nails or wear your hair in a ponytail. I don't know, but your friends do.

 

 

Sorry for the language but we're all adults here. Now I'm having really bad luck with women. Either I'm not interested in them in the long term or when I get interested in them it all goes down hill. I literally bumped into an old friend tonight and her and I were talking. She was asking about my personal life and I said I've been dating but nothing serious. Her reply was well you've always been the f***able one just not the datable one. Who says that! I feel like I'm a keeper. Yes some might take that as a compliment but can't I be doable and dateable?

 

So women what makes us men doable vs dateable?

[NoMoreJerks]

I'm pretty sure you just made a thread about your XBF, who is in Thailand, and has literally promised you he was going to have a threesome with 2 prostitutes. I'm pretty sure, not 100%, but that is no where near respect for you. And I hate to say this, but you're not even respecting yourself

If you re-read my original post, you will see what I was talking about -- he's not disrespecting me by doing that. He's disrespecting himself. However, when he pressured me to have a threesome, and threatened to break up with me, I broke up with him, and told him I refuse to be treated like a sex object and thrown around. Since then, we haven't met, but he's been very respectful towards me. He calls me almost religiously, and does not talk about sex much, if at all. Is he still going to prostitutes? Maybe. I don't know. But if he's doing that, and doing it without my knowledge, he's really hurting himself more than he is hurting me. And at the end of the day, I will most likely not have sex with him, assuming I will stay in the relationship. If he brings up traveling to Thailand again, that will be the end of it, actually.

[jcrew11]

Being ambitious is a mindset. Someone who is ambitious is likely always striving for more, better, and extra. I am ambitious. I don't believe in just taking what I get, so if you aren't ambitious, we are incompatible. It has nothing to do with how much money you get along the way.

 

An unmotivated trust-fund or independently wealthy guy is equally as unappealing as an unmotivated low wage worker.

 

Eh, I just see the "ambition" excuse as just fluff talk. Women find lots of reasons to complain about men, because from society's point of view Men are supposed to be the providers and protectors of women. So if a man is not ambitious and wealthy, then he is failing at protecting his woman. I just think in this economy and with the feminist movement, there are far more successful women at any time in history, with more blue-collar and unemployed men than at any time in history. Successful women shouldn't settle for a poor man, but there are less job opportunities for men than before. On the flip side, successful men know that they are a rare breed, and can casually date many women and play the field until old age. Its this "alpha/ambition" mentality that has permeated society for single men and women. Also, with the ambitious men, they become workaholics and then their wives complain they don't spend enough time on romance. At the end of the day, I really think the "ambition excuse is weak" because a woman just wants a caring monogamous poor man to control. The ambitious rich guys are selfish, cheating, players.

[BeautifulBrunette]

Sorry for the language but we're all adults here. Now I'm having really bad luck with women. Either I'm not interested in them in the long term or when I get interested in them it all goes down hill. I literally bumped into an old friend tonight and her and I were talking. She was asking about my personal life and I said I've been dating but nothing serious. Her reply was well you've always been the f***able one just not the datable one. Who says that! I feel like I'm a keeper. Yes some might take that as a compliment but can't I be doable and dateable?

 

So women what makes us men doable vs dateable?

 

How rude of your friend to say that! Just because one woman out of millions say that does not make it true. Don't take everything people say as face-value.

 

I have never looked at men as "f*ckable. Ever.

[sweetheart5381]

Lol. I was just wondering because all the posts I've read from you have been written from an very independent standpoint... is all. enjoy

 

Very true I like my independence. I also accept and appreciate it when a man wants to retain his independence as well. Love represents freedom, not a ball and chain.

 

Quite often relationships involve giving up your own independence in order to fill the other person's sense of inadequacy in one area or another. That's not love and it's definitely not healthy.

 

I may be single for the rest of my life and that's cool with me now. A healthy relationship requires 2 fully independent people who wish to share parts of themselves with a like-minded individual who understands this principle.

 

I personally don't consider a man do-able unless he is date-able. Just sayin

[sweetheart5381]

Eh, I just see the "ambition" excuse as just fluff talk. Women find lots of reasons to complain about men, because from society's point of view Men are supposed to be the providers and protectors of women. So if a man is not ambitious and wealthy, then he is failing at protecting his woman. I just think in this economy and with the feminist movement, there are far more successful women at any time in history, with more blue-collar and unemployed men than at any time in history. Successful women shouldn't settle for a poor man, but there are less job opportunities for men than before. On the flip side, successful men know that they are a rare breed, and can casually date many women and play the field until old age. Its this "alpha/ambition" mentality that has permeated society for single men and women. Also, with the ambitious men, they become workaholics and then their wives complain they don't spend enough time on romance. At the end of the day, I really think the "ambition excuse is weak" because a woman just wants a caring monogamous poor man to control. The ambitious rich guys are selfish, cheating, players.

 

Define success. Seriously.

 

Every person perceives "success" differently.

 

To me, a successful person stands by their word, their character... they believe in themselves and not because they have money. They have honourable intentions, strong motivation to have integrity in both word and of course actions.

 

Rich dudes with nice cars, nice houses, nice promises of travel, etc make me laugh when they use their money to impress.They clearly do not have the emotional intelligence to understand that I will not be impressed, in fact I am turned off by all that stuff. I would rather a "better-off" man take me for a walk in the park, go to the butterfly conservatory with me, actually listen to me than buy me things and take me to fancy places.

 

Money does not equal success in life or in love.

[jcrew11]

Define success. Seriously.

 

Every person perceives "success" differently.

 

To me, a successful person stands by their word, their character... they believe in themselves and not because they have money. They have honourable intentions, strong motivation to have integrity in both word and of course actions.

 

Rich dudes with nice cars, nice houses, nice promises of travel, etc make me laugh when they use their money to impress.They clearly do not have the emotional intelligence to understand that I will not be impressed, in fact I am turned off by all that stuff. I would rather a "better-off" man take me for a walk in the park, go to the butterfly conservatory with me, actually listen to me than buy me things and take me to fancy places.

 

Money does not equal success in life or in love.

 

I think what you are talking about is having an "ambitious and charismatic personality" but doesn't necessarily equate to becoming rich now or in the future. This sort of seems like a "dreamer mentality" where you want a guy who has big goals and dreams, but in reality he may be just another unemployed loser. Sure having lots of actual money helps, but having "bigger career dreams" is even better?

 

I kinda think girls often get caught up in "fantasy hollywood movies" and are disappointed that men aren't "prince charming riding on a horse to save the princess." They want men to be romantic don juan poets, that have upper middle class jobs, and are monogamous. Sure, there are men like that out there, but perhaps these "quality" men are so rare makes women keep alive these "fantasies"

[Necris]

Just like Sweetheart said - if a man indicates he can fulfill emotional *and* sexual needs/desires, he's dateable. If it's just sexual, he's f*ckable. And if it's just emotional (or less) - he's a friend.

 

Makes sense, this is also probably the reason why I'll never have a girlfriend. With a little work I can show women my personality and we can become friends but that is as far as it will ever go, its impossible for me to spark that more sexual primal feeling in a woman, they just don't feel that way about me at all.

[threebyfate]

As a guess, attractive enough to do but lacking in staying power which includes an inability to emotionally invest.