shanemike88 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Sorry for the language but we're all adults here. Now I'm having really bad luck with women. Either I'm not interested in them in the long term or when I get interested in them it all goes down hill. I literally bumped into an old friend tonight and her and I were talking. She was asking about my personal life and I said I've been dating but nothing serious. Her reply was well you've always been the f***able one just not the datable one. Who says that! I feel like I'm a keeper. Yes some might take that as a compliment but can't I be doable and dateable? So women what makes us men doable vs dateable?
NoMoreJerks Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Attitude, I guess. I've seen plenty of men at work who keep talking about women in an objectifying/purely sexual way, even in front of other women. It's only about sex, sex, sex. I would never ever try to date those guys, but might consider having a ONS with them (1% chance that I will actually do it, though ). I don't think any man who does not have some respect for women and does not treat them as more than just a hole to penetrate, is dateable material. I'm not saying that's the case for you, obviously, but in my mind, that's the dividing line.
ThaWholigan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 It's like a fine balance really, the one extreme is placid, the other is active. One is nicer, more pleasant, less in your face, but less edge, not much happening, just easy. The other is straight up edge, sexualized, adventurous, super erotic - the complete opposite. You may lean towards the latter on some unconscious level (maybe you're a good looking guy, maybe there's something about your energy that evokes that in women etc). Seek to find more of a balance, try to monitor and watch your actions, the energy you give off. You might find the answers. 1
kaylan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Id say its the same thing that makes a women worthy of being slept with but not dated. Essentially the man or woman is attractive, but doesnt fit into who you want as a partner. Simple. And what we find compatible for dating varies from person to person. 3
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I agree with Whooligan... It depends on the vibe you exude, whether you know what is or not. You might come off with much bravado, which would lead them to believe just that.
jcrew11 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Perhaps it has something to do with your job. If you have a low-paying blue collar job, girls won't take you seriously as a potential husband, but they won't mind fooling around with you. If you have a "respectable" white collar job, then girls will think you make a reliable husband who can take care of a family. Its a bit of gold-digging, but given a choice, a woman wants to be a spoiled princess than homeless, or even paying for a boy toy (male gold-digger). Sort of like guys wanting to screw hot strippers, but not wanting to marry a sketchy stripper.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Perhaps it has something to do with your job. If you have a low-paying blue collar job, girls won't take you seriously as a potential husband, but they won't mind fooling around with you. If you have a "respectable" white collar job, then girls will think you make a reliable husband who can take care of a family. Its a bit of gold-digging, but given a choice, a woman wants to be a spoiled princess than homeless, or even paying for a boy toy (male gold-digger). Sort of like guys wanting to screw hot strippers, but not wanting to marry a sketchy stripper. Well, FWIW, I would not have sex -- ONS -- with a guy who doesn't look like he has a decent job at least on par with mine. The last thing I want is to have sex with a hot guy who is... a useless hippy, or someone working at McDonalds. Even if it's NSA.
ascendotum Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Id say its the same thing that makes a women worthy of being slept with but not dated. Essentially the man or woman is attractive, but doesnt fit into who you want as a partner. Simple. And what we find compatible for dating varies from person to person. ^ this is my answer as well....though I think when it comes to women, given so many guys are horny for for it, the threshold when it comes to looks is lower than what it is for women. A lot more guys will get in relationships just for regular sex imo. OP, when your friend told you this, I assume you would have asked her this question back...and what did she say?
kaylan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Well, FWIW, I would not have sex -- ONS -- with a guy who doesn't look like he has a decent job at least on par with mine. The last thing I want is to have sex with a hot guy who is... a useless hippy, or someone working at McDonalds. Even if it's NSA. Lol thats just you though. Ive known tons of good looking cats with various kinds of jobs, and they all get women. PS - Theres nothing wrong with blue collar work.
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 This conversation can go as deep as facial symmetry and ovulation. At certain times of the month a woman will prefer different men, a safe secure one.. and while in heat, a manly one. but in the end.. i still agree it's your vibes, and probably everything about you. The things you say and the way you say 'em, that give women the idea you're don't have much to offer but a ride.
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Sorry for the language but we're all adults here. Now I'm having really bad luck with women. Either I'm not interested in them in the long term or when I get interested in them it all goes down hill. I literally bumped into an old friend tonight and her and I were talking. She was asking about my personal life and I said I've been dating but nothing serious. Her reply was well you've always been the f***able one just not the datable one. Who says that! I feel like I'm a keeper. Yes some might take that as a compliment but can't I be doable and dateable? So women what makes us men doable vs dateable? if a man isnt dateable what makes him doable...dont you have to want to date someone first like multiple times or is that order out since i dated in the 80s....beam me back scotty....im leaving.....deb 1
sweetheart5381 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Perhaps it has something to do with your job. If you have a low-paying blue collar job, girls won't take you seriously as a potential husband, but they won't mind fooling around with you. If you have a "respectable" white collar job, then girls will think you make a reliable husband who can take care of a family. Its a bit of gold-digging, but given a choice, a woman wants to be a spoiled princess than homeless, or even paying for a boy toy (male gold-digger). Sort of like guys wanting to screw hot strippers, but not wanting to marry a sketchy stripper. Haha, your reference to "hot strippers" vs "sketchy strippers" is classy..with a K. If a strong, independent woman wants a man, she wants him. She doesn't care if he is blue collar, white collar or purple collar for that matter. Strong, independent women do not find validation in what a man does for a living, what clothing he wears or what he drives. She knows inherently what she desires in a man. It's very simple, really. If a man cannot fulfill a woman's emotional needs (we figure that out pretty damn fast) but can fulfill sexual desires, women consider them "****able". If a man can fulfill both needs, sexual and emotional (potentially... although there is room for error, aka players, liars, etc) then we consider them date-able, for the time-being) 1
todreaminblue Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Haha, your reference to "hot strippers" vs "sketchy strippers" is classy..with a K. If a strong, independent woman wants a man, she wants him. She doesn't care if he is blue collar, white collar or purple collar for that matter. Strong, independent women do not find validation in what a man does for a living, what clothing he wears or what he drives. She knows inherently what she desires in a man. It's very simple, really. If a man cannot fulfill a woman's emotional needs (we figure that out pretty damn fast) but can fulfill sexual desires, women consider them "****able". If a man can fulfill both needs, sexual and emotional (potentially... although there is room for error, aka players, liars, etc) then we consider them date-able, for the time-being) sweet i agree with nearly everything you wrote except do you think if a guy can fill your emotional needs he automatically is in tune to learn what to do in the bedroom because he wants to do that....he wants to fulfill needs....lol...i mean within reason not like tie a rocket to hsi back or anything but a guy who fulfills emotional needs it automatic that he desires to knwo more about his partner......i don't feel any guy is doable until you get to know them so they have to be dateable....emotions and sex are tied together how do you feel? Am i retarded because i think this ? I ask because i am interested in your reply ? your post was well written....hugs....deb
jcrew11 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Haha, your reference to "hot strippers" vs "sketchy strippers" is classy..with a K. If a strong, independent woman wants a man, she wants him. She doesn't care if he is blue collar, white collar or purple collar for that matter. Strong, independent women do not find validation in what a man does for a living, what clothing he wears or what he drives. She knows inherently what she desires in a man. It's very simple, really. If a man cannot fulfill a woman's emotional needs (we figure that out pretty damn fast) but can fulfill sexual desires, women consider them "****able". If a man can fulfill both needs, sexual and emotional (potentially... although there is room for error, aka players, liars, etc) then we consider them date-able, for the time-being) Maybe I'm wrong, but I've read that Successful women often seek out other Successful Alpha Men to marry and date. They don't want a gold-digging boyfriend to financially support and have no respect for low-earning men. Women can have flings with the Dumb Hot Guy. But Women marry the wealthy skinny nerdy guy because they make better husbands.
Frogwife Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 It's like a fine balance really, the one extreme is placid, the other is active. One is nicer, more pleasant, less in your face, but less edge, not much happening, just easy. The other is straight up edge, sexualized, adventurous, super erotic - the complete opposite. You may lean towards the latter on some unconscious level (maybe you're a good looking guy, maybe there's something about your energy that evokes that in women etc). Seek to find more of a balance, try to monitor and watch your actions, the energy you give off. You might find the answers. Haha - This is just wishful thinking to justify why someone doesn't want to date you! Trust me, plenty of edgy, sexual, adventurous, erotic men are dating women versus just being screwed by women. Just like Sweetheart said - if a man indicates he can fulfill emotional *and* sexual needs/desires, he's dateable. If it's just sexual, he's f*ckable. And if it's just emotional (or less) - he's a friend. 1
Ugh1 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Personally... the difference is this... (this is only for me specifically)... A guy is only doable if he is dumb. I have met some pretty hot, but stupid men. One in particular, a super hot soldier in the Army. Don't even remember how I met him, but he made me drool. mmmmm... Well, he was amazing to look at and freakin awesome in bed. However, he was dumb as a rock and had nothing at all intelligent to say. So, he was simply doable, definitely not someone long-term. If some potential mate can even be close to that AND be intelligent enough for me to see alot of interesting conversations in the future, then he is dateable. (the conversations are a higher priority for me)
sweetheart5381 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 sweet i agree with nearly everything you wrote except do you think if a guy can fill your emotional needs he automatically is in tune to learn what to do in the bedroom because he wants to do that....he wants to fulfill needs....lol...i mean within reason not like tie a rocket to hsi back or anything but a guy who fulfills emotional needs it automatic that he desires to knwo more about his partner......i don't feel any guy is doable until you get to know them so they have to be dateable....emotions and sex are tied together how do you feel? Am i retarded because i think this ? I ask because i am interested in your reply ? your post was well written....hugs....deb I know what you are saying Blue, and no, because he wants to fulfill emotional needs does not mean he can fulfill sexual needs. To me it's a dance... there needs to be something present from both elements. There needs to be a desire to share and explore sexually with a respect for emotion and obvious caring for the other. There is the emotional side, the caring side and there is the sexual side... pure lust. As a woman, I think that if you can find a man that can be both sexual and emotional (at the same time), you have just hit the jackpot
sweetheart5381 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Maybe I'm wrong, but I've read that Successful women often seek out other Successful Alpha Men to marry and date. They don't want a gold-digging boyfriend to financially support and have no respect for low-earning men. Women can have flings with the Dumb Hot Guy. But Women marry the wealthy skinny nerdy guy because they make better husbands. Well, gotta tell ya, I am not fond of "Alpha" men. Didn't even know my ex was "A" til he told me he was with pride, haha. Then I learned about alpha's... suited him to a T. I have to admit, I don't want a gold-digger bf either... doesn't make me "Alpha" female, just means I respect myself and the accomplishments I have achieved. I also don't mind if a man has not achieved in his pursuits (low earning men) to date. Their time will come if they work hard enough. Bottom line, I don't want a husband, someone to support me and I certainly expect that they do not want that either. Independence is key. I want a man that has a dream, a desire, and is willing to pursue it. If that's the case then I hope they would like my company along the way.
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Well, gotta tell ya, I am not fond of "Alpha" men. Didn't even know my ex was "A" til he told me he was with pride, haha. Then I learned about alpha's... suited him to a T. I have to admit, I don't want a gold-digger bf either... doesn't make me "Alpha" female, just means I respect myself and the accomplishments I have achieved. I also don't mind if a man has not achieved in his pursuits (low earning men) to date. Their time will come if they work hard enough. Bottom line, I don't want a husband, someone to support me and I certainly expect that they do not want that either. Independence is key. I want a man that has a dream, a desire, and is willing to pursue it. If that's the case then I hope they would like my company along the way. May I inquire as to your age?
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Should be banned for being negative lol jebus. Dude, what's up?! What happened? How many times were you rejected? We're you raised by a spiteful mother? No mother? Cause seriously, all is the same. Humans are humans, we come in various forms. Come on man, open up to us.. make a thread and spill your beans, I'm curious... I'm here for you Goebbels.
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Its amazing how smart/right you think you are Goebbels. And what, at the tender age of 23 no less.
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I'll tell how you can help me not be sad anymore. Why don't you put on your Birkenstock's and moonwalk out of the Green Zone, film it all. Then, and only then, will I feel better about myself. 1. I have "rainbow" sandals. Probably the best leather sandal you can buy 2. There is no Green-zone in this War, boy. 1
Hawaii50 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Oh yeah, I'm sure the Afghans would tolerate some Miller lite-drinking, baseball hat wearing National Lampoon's caricature as a next door neighbor Those people actually have common sense- you'd be hanging upside down in a crispy version of your birthday suit if there was no Green zone there. Lol. See now I know you're moderately retarded, on top of reciprocally hating women. Again, there is no Green Zone in Afghanistan. Goebbles, I've been out here since 08'. Yeah, you were still hanging in your closet diddling yourself with your aunt's knickers. something is awry- your marbles are loose; you don't think logically or with any emotion. A textbook sociopath. You point your finger, but you're blaming the wrong people. Instead of hating women because you're not attractive and have the personality to match, maybe you should try going up those stairs that lead out of your parents basement and interacting with human beings, if you think you're up to it. I feel for yah, buddy, i really do. But I'm also thankful that I'm not you. so ever thankful. 1
ThaWholigan Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Haha - This is just wishful thinking to justify why someone doesn't want to date you! Trust me, plenty of edgy, sexual, adventurous, erotic men are dating women versus just being screwed by women. Just like Sweetheart said - if a man indicates he can fulfill emotional *and* sexual needs/desires, he's dateable. If it's just sexual, he's f*ckable. And if it's just emotional (or less) - he's a friend. That's exactly what I was getting at! 1
MilitantPacifist Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Attitude, I guess. I've seen plenty of men at work who keep talking about women in an objectifying/purely sexual way, even in front of other women. It's only about sex, sex, sex. I would never ever try to date those guys, but might consider having a ONS with them (1% chance that I will actually do it, though ). I don't think any man who does not have some respect for women and does not treat them as more than just a hole to penetrate, is dateable material. I'm not saying that's the case for you, obviously, but in my mind, that's the dividing line. Ah, yes. Conclusive proof of what I've always been saying. Treating women like crap will make them want to jump your bones. Hypothesis proven.
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