hellodearest Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Ex and I broke up on ok terms. She fell out of love with me, sees me as a best friend, but was really really reluctant to leave me because in her head she knows I'm a great guy who has cherished her and been great to her, but her heart just doesn't feel it. She was talking marriage and kids. Anyway, we have concert tickets for tonight, she's going with one of our mutual friends, and I can't decide if I should go alone or not...
DavidG Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Ex and I broke up on ok terms. She fell out of love with me, sees me as a best friend, but was really really reluctant to leave me because in her head she knows I'm a great guy who has cherished her and been great to her, but her heart just doesn't feel it. She was talking marriage and kids. Anyway, we have concert tickets for tonight, she's going with one of our mutual friends, and I can't decide if I should go alone or not... It all depends on how you are coping with the break up. If you are ok with being friends then by all means go. If not then you will probably end up having a bad night. Without knowing how you feel about the situation its hard to give solid advice.
okiedokie Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 don't go..nothing good will come of it. 1
Author hellodearest Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Ah. Yeah, I'm really broken up about it and anxious. I can hold it together outwardly very well though. Yes, I know it's not good for me emotionally. However, I don't want to seem like a coward for avoiding the situation. She respects courage etc. etc. Deep down, I want her to break down and want me back, though I know it's too soon for that to happen. (it's happened before, same reason for breakup, took a couple weeks and she came running back talking about marriage and kids) This time feels different though, somewhat more... final. That's just a feeling though. I saw her a couple days after the breakup and she was so... numb. I don't know how to deal with that at all.
okiedokie Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 You're not being a coward by not going. In fact you are being smart and showing her that you mean what you say and putting your healing first and foremost. You are putting your well being above some impression that you **THINK** she may think...you gotta let go of caring what she says, does, thinks at this point...it's about you right now..be selfish in your healing.
Mike_d Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 already answered in the other thread you have, you just looking for the answer you want? you shouldn't go, you'll end up emotionally skewered in the end, but up to you
Mike_d Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Well, how'd it go? what did you end up doing?
Author hellodearest Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Yeah, wanted more perspectives haha. Well, it turned out good. I hadn't planned on going, but our mutual friend called me and wanted to drink/smoke before hand so I did. He convinced me to go because my ex wasn't getting off work until halfway through the show, so I had just planned on leaving before she got there. She called my mutual friend to solidify plans and he told her that I was going to be there, but was planning on leaving so it wouldnt be awkward for her... she told him to tell me not to do that because she wanted me to be there. I ended up getting really ****ed up, but I held things together really well. Upbeat show, was joking around a lot with mutual friend, and was dancing with a girl (not attractive girl, probably a lesbian anyway) when my ex got there. My ex was laughing at the whole thing and loved it. Made some funny jokes, made my ex laugh a lot without giving her too much attention, just acknowledged she was there and played it cool. Not standoffish, but I didn't cater to her or anything. She could tell I was really ****ed up though, said I kind of had spaghetti legs on the stairs down from the venue, but I wasn't emotional and I didn't do anything I regret. Ex put her hand in my pocket at some point in the show. I didn't acknowledge that, and after a few minutes got another drink at the bar. She also held my hand but I think that was just to make sure I wasn't too ****ed up. I didn't reciprocate the hand holding, and she looked me in the eye and said "im not letting go!" I just laughed and pulled my hand away gently. She insisted on giving me a ride home, dropped off mutual friend first and then asked me to stay the night. She knows I was really drunk so it was probably just to take care of me. I politely declined and thanked her for the ride, went inside and passed out. This morning, I saw she had texted me after she got home: "You ok?" I didn't reply, but this afternoon she called and I picked up. She said she was "checking up" on me, but then started asking if I had a test this week, said she was just laying in bed not doing anything and didn't have to work. I told her I had to study all day, and not to worry about me, I got ****ed up but it was fun I said. So, I don't know? Step in the right direction maybe. I saw her and didn't freak, and she saw me and is thinking about me. Back to playing it cool - don't have anything coming up where I'll see her.
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