ericamariie Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Ok, so. I have a very clingy boyfriend. He doesn't want to grow up and I'm pretty sure I'm done with him. Anyways, I met this guy a year ago. He came into the restaurant I was working at. He became a regular. We had always talked and he picked on me a lot. Anyways we started texting and now we've hung out a few times. He works from 1 in the morning until about 5 at night. He stays up late so we can hang. He knows my situation with my boyfriend and hes always making fun of or asking questions about my boyfriend. I told him I liked him and he said that he already knew. But he never really gave me a clear line of where he stands and if he likes me back. I've asked him why he picks on me and he said its because he was flirting. And I wrote him a note on a cup and he told me he kept it because no one every writes him cute notes like that. There's so much more to the story but I'm still no quite sure if he likes me. I mean, he's made quite a few sacrifices for me and I just need to know if he's playing me or not. And btw he also hasn't tried to make a move. The other thing that makes him hard to read is the fact that he is very sarcastic by nature. I've known him for a year. He's always flirted with me and honestly at first I hated him. I thought he was just mean and being an arrogant jerk. But then we started talking more. Were getting more comfortable around eachother. We try and talk to each other everyday. He's always talking about other girls that he has hooked up with but he immediately looks at me to see a reaction. Idk if he is trying to make me jealous or if he just likes to talk. He likes my mom and he always seems happy about seeing me and always says so when he leaves. His dad treats me like I'm something special. Also, the way his family acts towards me is odd. Its like they know we have this weird connection. I feel so drawn to him its almost crazy. And I swear his family sees it and acts upon it. And I know this is badddd! So please dont remind me. I just need input to know if hes playing me or if he might actually like me...Thanks!! And if you guys have any other questions or curiosities about our relationship that might help you get a better insight, then just ask!!! Please, I'm willing to do anything to figure this out.
SmileFace Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 You have a boyfriend. Why would he make a move - you are taken. There isn't anything to actually figure out.
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 You have a boyfriend. Why would he make a move - you are taken. There isn't anything to actually figure out. Some women in relationships like being given fresh/new attention. Obviously OP is being attentive to this, and it doesn't look like it will end well, she's already justifying potential cheating.
SmileFace Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Some women in relationships like being given fresh/new attention. Obviously OP is being attentive to this, and it doesn't look like it will end well. I don't care what attention people like receiving. That doesn't make it right. 1
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I don't care what attention people like receiving. That doesn't make it right. Never said it does, but I've updated my post. This is a train crash about to happen, I can see. 1
Author ericamariie Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 My only question is...a train crash between who? Me and whom? My current boyfriend, or the other guy?
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 My only question is...a train crash between who? Me and whom? My current boyfriend, or the other guy? It could be all three, but I really see your boyfriend getting hurt the most. The fact he's clingy could mean that he's insecure about something.
Author ericamariie Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Its the clingy part that drives me crazy. He cannot go anywhere without me, not even to smoke a cigarette. He always likes to know what I'm doing, even when I'm at work. He feels me pulling away because I am growing as a person and changing and he hasnt changed since we have been together, but he trys to hold tighter, which is making me want to leave even more....
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Its the clingy part that drives me crazy. He cannot go anywhere without me, not even to smoke a cigarette. He always likes to know what I'm doing, even when I'm at work. He feels me pulling away because I am growing as a person and changing and he hasnt changed since we have been together, but he trys to hold tighter, which is making me want to leave even more.... There we go, you know why he's insecure. Are you going to do anything about it?
SmileFace Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 So break up with your boyfriend . People grow apart all the time. Do not wait to find a way out of your relationship - Just walk out the door if you aren't going to try and fix your relatiobship. 1
Author ericamariie Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 There we go, you know why he's insecure. Are you going to do anything about it? I'm not sure. I told him he needs to go back to his dads house for a while (where he used to live). He said he would. I want to know how I feel without him...better or worse.
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I'm not sure. I told him he needs to go back to his dads house for a while (where he used to live). He said he would. I want to know how I feel without him...better or worse. Either both of you fix it, or you leave him. From experience and second hand experience, he will probably never accept you again if you leave him.
SmileFace Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I'm not sure. I told him he needs to go back to his dads house for a while (where he used to live). He said he would. I want to know how I feel without him...better or worse. If you want to take a break from your boyfriend go ahead. Taking a break to go explore some other guy isn't taking a break.
Author ericamariie Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Thats the part I am most afraid of. I love him dearly, but I dont know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. And I dont know what I'd do if I lost him as a friend. I've known him since I was 14 (were 21 now)...and its just incredibly heartbreaking. Another thing is that we dated when we were younger. He lived 4 hrs away though. After almost 2 years together, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a while and he went out and dated. But I have never had any other boyfriend in my life. I just dont know if I can love him and spend the rest of my life with him because I'm not even sure what else is out there. I havent experienced it yet. I think to truely love someone, you need to make sure you've seen what else is out there and know what you like.
silicone Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Thats the part I am most afraid of. I love him dearly, but I dont know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. And I dont know what I'd do if I lost him as a friend. I've known him since I was 14 (were 21 now)...and its just incredibly heartbreaking. Another thing is that we dated when we were younger. He lived 4 hrs away though. After almost 2 years together, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a while and he went out and dated. But I have never had any other boyfriend in my life. I just dont know if I can love him and spend the rest of my life with him because I'm not even sure what else is out there. I havent experienced it yet. I think to truely love someone, you need to make sure you've seen what else is out there and know what you like. I'm reading pretty much the same thing on another forum, except she says her boyfriend is perfect. If you aren't in love with him, then respect him enough and set him free to find someone that loves him.
SmileFace Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Thats the part I am most afraid of. I love him dearly, but I dont know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. And I dont know what I'd do if I lost him as a friend. I've known him since I was 14 (were 21 now)...and its just incredibly heartbreaking. Another thing is that we dated when we were younger. He lived 4 hrs away though. After almost 2 years together, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a while and he went out and dated. But I have never had any other boyfriend in my life. I just dont know if I can love him and spend the rest of my life with him because I'm not even sure what else is out there. I havent experienced it yet. I think to truely love someone, you need to make sure you've seen what else is out there and know what you like. Yes I agree to a point. However I say break up with him. At least be fair to him when you are sampling the greens. If it is meant to be - then you will get back together.
TLY22 Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Thats the part I am most afraid of. I love him dearly, but I dont know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. And I dont know what I'd do if I lost him as a friend. I've known him since I was 14 (were 21 now)...and its just incredibly heartbreaking. Another thing is that we dated when we were younger. He lived 4 hrs away though. After almost 2 years together, we broke up. We stayed broken up for a while and he went out and dated. But I have never had any other boyfriend in my life. I just dont know if I can love him and spend the rest of my life with him because I'm not even sure what else is out there. I havent experienced it yet. I think to truely love someone, you need to make sure you've seen what else is out there and know what you like. Don't make excuses. The truth is, you're already emotionally cheating on your boyfriend by flirting around with this new guy. This thread wasn't even started about your boyfriend, so don't turn around and whine about how "heartbreaking" it is to leave him. You just want to know if this new guy is worth leaving your boyfriend for; if not, you'll probably stay with him as a security blanket. Shame on you for thinking, "oh he's my only boyfriend, I need to experiment." You need to break up with this poor boy and hopefully he can find someone worthy of his attention. Women like you honestly make me ill. 1
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