suladas Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Well my ex went on a week vacation/her friends wedding and for some reason it hit me quite hard, because I was suppose to be going but she just went alone. I don't know why but I was doing fine for the past few weeks, then when I realized she was there (seen it on facebook wed night) I was crushed and been down since. For those wondering why were still on facebook, I knew the trip was coming, and we are next door neighbors so it's not like I wouldn't of known anyways. But I am thinking about deleting her off facebook and just telling her it's too hard to see her posts on there, although I think it's best to leave it until she's back from her trip, I don't want to message her about it and bother her when she's on vacation. I mean last night I seen my other neighbor going into her house as they are watching it for her and that seemed to hurt to. I know that since we haven't talked in 2 months there was no logical reason for her to ask me to do it and being broken up and all, but it still hurt for some reason. I guess i've just really been hoping we'd slowly work back to being just neighbors but nothings happened yet. I don't get it though. I really have no idea if I even want to be with her, I don't know why I care so much what she is doing. I've had the urge to contact her, but I know it's a really really bad idea and I absolutely refuse to do it. I mean the last two weeks especially was going so good, I barely thought about her at all, but now i'm back to much worse and anytime I don't force myself to think about something else i'm thinking about her. Oh well, I just needed to vent. I wouldn't want to do something dumb like text her again. Even though a part of me is hoping she is thinking of me and texts me when she's away even though I am pretty much positive it's never going to happen.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Being completely honest with myself, no I didn't know if it would ever work out long term. I though about it when we were together, and we even talked about it a bit, neither of us knew. We both just said we were taking it one day at a time and we really enjoyed being with each other. We really just needed to sit down and have a serious talk about what we wanted and see what the chances were that it could work out and if it was a good idea to stay together or not. That's why the BU took me by shock, I knew she had doubts about being together but I though she told me all of them. As far as not seeing me as long term, that's not true. A week into dating her sister actually asked about it, and how i'd probably want kids. To which she promptly told me she would never have another kid, so if I did i'd have to find someone else. If she just wanted sex, she wouldn't of turned down other guys asking her out, another neighbor asked her out and she turned him down. Why would she wait nearly a year to finally go out with me if she could just easily go out with someone else if it was just sex? And why would she go through all the effort of asking me out? She came over all the time to talk to me over many months. Before she would go out with me I met her sister and 2 of her friends because she didn't want to unless they approved and could tell that I was not a typical 23 year old. But I do know there was times she didn't see it lasting forever and flip flopped on it a bit. She even told me she was scared I was just using her for sex, because she had a tough time believing why i'd want to be with her. The best I can do? You say it likes she's worthless because she's 35 and has 4 kids. That mentality is why she was scared to be with me because she though one day i'd wake up and want nothing to do with her, which is foolish.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Dude, just shut off her facebook news feed if you don't want to delete her. That's what I did with my ex. Not to be unfeeling toward your plight, but damn, you were kind of asking for it.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Dude, just shut off her facebook news feed if you don't want to delete her. That's what I did with my ex. Not to be unfeeling toward your plight, but damn, you were kind of asking for it. I could do that actually. Why was I asking for it? As I said, I knew the trip was in sept as I was suppose to go I just didn't know the exact date, and she lives next door so it's not like I wouldn't notice her gone for a week. I don't know if seeing it on facebook made it any worse, I doubt it. But ya I am definitely going to turn off new feed so I don't get anything more.
CptSaveAho Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Being completely honest with myself, no I didn't know if it would ever work out long term. I though about it when we were together, and we even talked about it a bit, neither of us knew. We both just said we were taking it one day at a time and we really enjoyed being with each other. We really just needed to sit down and have a serious talk about what we wanted and see what the chances were that it could work out and if it was a good idea to stay together or not. That's why the BU took me by shock, I knew she had doubts about being together but I though she told me all of them. As far as not seeing me as long term, that's not true. A week into dating her sister actually asked about it, and how i'd probably want kids. To which she promptly told me she would never have another kid, so if I did i'd have to find someone else. If she just wanted sex, she wouldn't of turned down other guys asking her out, another neighbor asked her out and she turned him down. Why would she wait nearly a year to finally go out with me if she could just easily go out with someone else if it was just sex? And why would she go through all the effort of asking me out? She came over all the time to talk to me over many months. Before she would go out with me I met her sister and 2 of her friends because she didn't want to unless they approved and could tell that I was not a typical 23 year old. But I do know there was times she didn't see it lasting forever and flip flopped on it a bit. She even told me she was scared I was just using her for sex, because she had a tough time believing why i'd want to be with her. The best I can do? You say it likes she's worthless because she's 35 and has 4 kids. That mentality is why she was scared to be with me because she though one day i'd wake up and want nothing to do with her, which is foolish. Do you have a father figure in your life or a male role model? This entire situation screams... not healthy... the fact is you dont see its not healthy is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY beyond me. You got played by a player.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 Do you have a father figure in your life or a male role model? This entire situation screams... not healthy... the fact is you dont see its not healthy is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY beyond me. You got played by a player. Yes, why would that matter? How does it scream played?
Calico Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 This entire situation screams... not healthy... the fact is you dont see its not healthy is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY beyond me. But not because of the age difference. My mother lived with her 17 years younger boyfriend for nearly twenty years and they only split when she was close to 60 or so. That was a happier and healthier relationship than many "close age" partnerships I see around, my own included.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 I can't even begin to describe how screwed up this is. Start with... 1. You think a woman (forget her age, your age and the kids) who dumped you only after a few months wanted a long term relationship and marriage. 2. You think she wants you and only did so because she is scared. Explain this to me... She wasn't scared of her abusive and cheating Ex-Husband. She knew this while dating him and was not afraid to marry him and have 4 kids. Since you only lasted a few months because she was scared of you... Are you the Spawn Of Satan? I only ask because you would have to be if you are scarier than her loser Ex-Husband. When did I ever say a Ltr or marriage? I didn't. Where are you getting she was scarred of me I'm completely lost where you are getting that from.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 But not because of the age difference. My mother lived with her 17 years younger boyfriend for nearly twenty years and they only split when she was close to 60 or so. That was a happier and healthier relationship than many "close age" partnerships I see around, my own included. I'm really curious what you think makes it not healthy? Are you Mis understanding something? Or am I missing something obvious to you guys? I guess I could be but I really really doubt it but id like to hear what you think.
Calico Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 I was responding to Cpt, since I felt he implied that the age difference was part of what may have made the relationship "unhealthy" -- and I disagreed with that.
Author suladas Posted September 29, 2012 Author Posted September 29, 2012 I was responding to Cpt, since I felt he implied that the age difference was part of what may have made the relationship "unhealthy" -- and I disagreed with that. Oh I got that, but from the way you said it, it seemed like you agreed it didn't seem healthy. Ya I don't see the age difference as a issue, my dad has 12 years on my mom and its so common, it's just usually the other way around.
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