lovecash Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Let me give a little background first.. Been dating the love of my life for 4.5 years. Everything was great in our relationship and true love from the beginning. About a year and half into our relationship, she started having anxiety problems, and was prescribed an antidepressant to treat it. It slightly changed her- she lost some of her spark and was less sexual, but other than that she was basically the same loving person. After college, (she stayed one extra year while I began working in NYC), she moved into the city and we continued our relationship. She has a VERY high stress job as an accountant working pretty crazy hours, so I've not had the time to always be there for her as before. Due to her job, she has basically been sacrificing her own personal well being and not taking care of herself. She stopped taking her medication a few months ago because "she didnt have time to see the doctor" which is a HUGE no no (you have to carefully plan a stop in this medication for months and slowly wean off it, as it causes changes to your brain chemistry). We had made plans to move in together, start a family, get married, etc. A month ago she says she is no longer 'in love' with me and wants to explore feelings with a co-worker. She has been acting completely out of character since she got off her meds, and myself and our friends have all noticed. I brought it up with her, but couldnt get through to her. Everyone is completely shocked with how she is acting. I know she needs time and space away to get to the bottom of her feelings and basically adjust her mind to getting off a medication she was on for 3 years that affects your brain chemistry and feelings. We are currently NC right now, so how long do I wait to try to talk to her or see where she is mentally?
Mike_d Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 you are the dumpee, you don't wait. you continue NC and continue on with your life, and work on accepting what has happened, and move forward putting all this in the past. sorry to hear this, but you can't wait your way to someone coming back, that is putting your life on hold. you don't want to do that... well, unless you are a certain user here... lol. she's dating/being with/banging another guy, that's the last thing you need to be in the middle of. Plenty of great girls out there who are not an AD, who don't work crzy jobs, and who will treat you like a king. time to move on 1
Minka333 Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 The mere fact she said she is not in love and wants to explore feelings with a co worker means there is nothing to wait for now. Whether it's the effect of medicine or not she cannot help control her feelings. I know you love her and it ain't easy. Let her move on and learn her lessons. Right now she is preoccupied with thoughts of him while here you are preoccupied with thoughts of her. Just go and try to improve other aspects of your life for the meantime. Don't hold your hopes to high so you won't get disappointed. She may or may not come back to her senses but it's up to you to turn your life around with or without her. 1
Author lovecash Posted October 1, 2012 Author Posted October 1, 2012 thanks for the advice. I am going to do what i've read/been told to do-- just work on myself and be a better person. Its so hard to stop thinking about all the good times with her tho. I also just moved onto the same block as her in NYC just this passed month. She helped me pick out my aparment, move everything, set it up. Why couldnt she tell me she was having all these feelings before I picked up my life for her? ughhhhhhh.
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