S.J.L Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Hey guys. Here is my story! Hope you can help! Soo i got dumped 5 years ago by my girlfriend for 3 years. I f&%ked up big time. I cheated on her and she found out. Yeah yeah i know i was an arshole and all that and i have regreted it for 5 years and still have strong feelings for her. Anyway, she moved on, met a new guy, lived together etc etc and now she is single again. I moved abroad and we have had no contact at all for 5 years, and i mean nothing! I have been back in the city for a while now and thought that i would go and see a game on a wednesday evening. It was a last minute decision because i wasbored as hell. WELL who do you think is sitting there watching the game! The ex! ****e i was shocked and didnt know what to do. Anyway she came down to me in the 2nd half and we talked for the rest of the match. It felt very good. Later on that evening i got a text from her saying that it was very very nice seeing me again. This means she had to ask someone for my number because i had changed it. I answered her saying basically the same. It all ended with me visiting her late 3 days later and we were pretty intimate. It was a very nice night and felt the same as for 5-6 years ago. So anyway, i told her i was very sorry for what i did and that i was an idiot because i never really got the chance 5 years ago. I felt that why not just say exactly what i feel and have felt for 5 years. So thats what i did. She was very suprised but also happy that i had been honest with her now, even if its 5 years " to late" She said she still had old feelings for me but that she has gone on with her life abit. She doesnt know if its to late but she said "lets see what happens" Right now we have daily contact in sms/mail and the tone is good. We will be living in different coutries for 8 months now but i dont want to give up. And i think maybe its a good thing that im abroad for a while. Give her a chance to see if she misses me etc etc. Soo i would like some advice in what my next step should be! After i move should i wait until she contacts me? Shall i tell her that i miss her like crazy. Or just play cool? She knows how i feel about her and i have said that i want to give it my all if there is a chance.. I have changed as a person and she also says she can see that. I have also been pretty clear and told her that i dont expect anything from her now. But hope we can get to know eachother again, because thats what we have to do i think. So guys and experts of the Loveshack! What shoud i do? I want her back bigtime and i have no problem waiting even longer for her. It feels like we have a small start going but dont want to rush it. I apreciate all the help i can get from you guys! Sorry for the bad english..
salem mark Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 let her chase u let her initiate contact and take it from there, dont tell her how u feel yet
Author S.J.L Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Yeah maybe that is the best. But there is also a risk she doesnt chase me? Maybe she will be waiting for me to make a move.. Hmm its difficult this
Mike_d Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 jesus, you've already got expectations. you should step away from this until you get a bit more level headed about it. the moment you have an investment in the outcome your ****ed
todreaminblue Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Hey guys. Here is my story! Hope you can help! Soo i got dumped 5 years ago by my girlfriend for 3 years. I f&%ked up big time. I cheated on her and she found out. Yeah yeah i know i was an arshole and all that and i have regreted it for 5 years and still have strong feelings for her. Anyway, she moved on, met a new guy, lived together etc etc and now she is single again. I moved abroad and we have had no contact at all for 5 years, and i mean nothing! I have been back in the city for a while now and thought that i would go and see a game on a wednesday evening. It was a last minute decision because i wasbored as hell. WELL who do you think is sitting there watching the game! The ex! ****e i was shocked and didnt know what to do. Anyway she came down to me in the 2nd half and we talked for the rest of the match. It felt very good. Later on that evening i got a text from her saying that it was very very nice seeing me again. This means she had to ask someone for my number because i had changed it. I answered her saying basically the same. It all ended with me visiting her late 3 days later and we were pretty intimate. It was a very nice night and felt the same as for 5-6 years ago. So anyway, i told her i was very sorry for what i did and that i was an idiot because i never really got the chance 5 years ago. I felt that why not just say exactly what i feel and have felt for 5 years. So thats what i did. She was very suprised but also happy that i had been honest with her now, even if its 5 years " to late" She said she still had old feelings for me but that she has gone on with her life abit. She doesnt know if its to late but she said "lets see what happens" Right now we have daily contact in sms/mail and the tone is good. We will be living in different coutries for 8 months now but i dont want to give up. And i think maybe its a good thing that im abroad for a while. Give her a chance to see if she misses me etc etc. Soo i would like some advice in what my next step should be! After i move should i wait until she contacts me? Shall i tell her that i miss her like crazy. Or just play cool? She knows how i feel about her and i have said that i want to give it my all if there is a chance.. I have changed as a person and she also says she can see that. I have also been pretty clear and told her that i dont expect anything from her now. But hope we can get to know eachother again, because thats what we have to do i think. So guys and experts of the Loveshack! What shoud i do? I want her back bigtime and i have no problem waiting even longer for her. It feels like we have a small start going but dont want to rush it. I apreciate all the help i can get from you guys! Sorry for the bad english.. my ex has told me many times he ****ed up......when we have spoken about it........that makes me feel sorry for the ow he is with now....if he considers her a mistake....but there were many mistakes not just the one that he made with her.......saying you ****ed up still means that the onus is on you it doesnt excuse the **** up nor does it mean that you can revisit that place you were before the mess occurred> Let sleeping dogs lie......its normal to have regrets when a relationship ends and you can see where you made mistakes.......there is no white out though for this....not something you can gloss over and keep writing....its always going to be there under that gloss It took me a long time to move on....gave up on love i invested a lot of what i had to offer..to the wrong guy for me....**** ups are damaging especially affairs, it would never be the same as it was or could ever be the sameas before the affair or one nighter.....my ex doesn't miss me or actually doing the hard yards with me...he misses my heart that his current partner does not have......could even be just the sex ....you have to seriously consider this before you reignite a flame that was meant to go out..and the ashes swept away......things happen for a reason.....i let my flame go....i could never trust him or love him or even make love to him..... the way i did in the very beginning too much water under the bridge........for me to swim in that water again....you have to really assess what your motivation is to rekindle.......good luck....best wishes.....deb.......deb
immitable Posted September 29, 2012 Posted September 29, 2012 Just wanted to make a few points: - It is not about what she wants it's about you -You shouldnt scold yourself for what happened (or you did) there was obviously a reason and you should concentrate on that reason - She is going to contact you otherwise she wouldn't be speaking to you. - If you've learned from the past she is going to FEEL that, no need for you to apologize or verbalize/bring past up yet One more thing: did you have life over the past 5 years on your own (dating, working on yourself etc?) You should treat thios contact as something new Cheers mate
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