Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Now that I am determined to leave and he knows that. He insisted that the relationship with his ex was over but now, after speaking to her on the phone, she said that they had had sex recently. He is, of course, denying this. He is an exceptionally charming convincing person and I know when I see him he will do and try everything to convince me that she is telling lies? I want to arm myself with your past experiences! I need to be aware of every possible lie that I might hear.... I do not want to weaken this resolve that I have now. I can not go back. I need help to stay strong. All tips would be greatly appreciated...
stillafool Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 If you want to stay strong leave. You already have your stuff packed, he has offered you a car to move, so all you have to do is go. If you know he is going to tell you lies again, why wait to hear them. If you want to be a stronger woman it is in your hands not his. 3
Author Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 If you want to stay strong leave. You already have your stuff packed, he has offered you a car to move, so all you have to do is go. If you know he is going to tell you lies again, why wait to hear them. If you want to be a stronger woman it is in your hands not his. I know. I have the keys of his cars and the house we have been sharing together. I also have to tidy up all my work related papers with him. Not to leave such a big mess since my leaving will leave him with some work problems too... many.
Author Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 So far today. I have been told: She is telling lies. I love you. I am with you. I told her a hundred times we have split. She will not listen. She is a liar. She is getting what she wants. She is just telling you what she wants you to believe........ I am wondering what he will tell me tomorrow when he sees me all packed and ready to go...
Silly_Girl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 Which lies will a mm tell to get you back or keep you hooked? Just the one in my experience: "I AM leaving her" To be fair he was lying to himself too, at that point, bless him! He did it in the end, but he had no comprehension of how hard he would find it. 2
stillafool Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 I am wondering what he will tell me tomorrow when he sees me all packed and ready to go... Why does he have to see you all packed and ready to go? Why can't you be gone already? Why stay and listen to what you know are lies? 2
Silly_Girl Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 So far today. I have been told: She is telling lies. I love you. I am with you. I told her a hundred times we have split. She will not listen. She is a liar. She is getting what she wants. She is just telling you what she wants you to believe........ I am wondering what he will tell me tomorrow when he sees me all packed and ready to go... What will YOU say when he says what HE is going to say?! 1
Author Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Why does he have to see you all packed and ready to go? Why can't you be gone already? Why stay and listen to what you know are lies? I wanted to be gone. That would certainly be easier for me however I have the keys of his cars, house and must tidy up my work (as I work for him). Normally I should give notice and I am homeless but I must go. I know he will try to 'get me around' and I would like to be prepared.... I find having read many accounts on LS has helped me deal with him and see his tricks. Had I not been reading on LS maybe he would have fooled me... much more for much longer. I want to know what kinds of lies I can expect... If I know it's coming I will be less likely to crumble... that would be the best help I could get right now.
Author Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 What will YOU say when he says what HE is going to say?! I want to give him his keys, show him all the relevant paperwork regarding work and leave. I do not want to talk. I do know he is extremely calculating and will spend all night thinking of ways to make me stay. I believe if I have a list of all the lies that people have heard before I will be less likely to crumble. It is easy to be logical when reading someones post but I have intense feelings and have spent a great part of the day in tears.... It will not be easy to be so hard on someone that I have had the most wonderful time with. He has a very innocent boyish charm that is very powerful. He is not the sort of person that doesn't get his way. He does not take no for an answer. Even though I know all of this - when he is here in front of me - I foget. I need to spend the rest of the day learning what to expect... which tricks and which lies I will encounter. 1
veryhappy Posted September 28, 2012 Posted September 28, 2012 What he says must become irrelevant to you, so why even bother determining if it's the truth or a lie? Just don't believe anything and keep your resolve. It can range from I love you, how about all we had, I'm going to change, give you what you want to Where do you think you're going? You're nothing without me, nobody else will love you. Mute his words, or better het don't even get into a discussion. This guy's actions are speaking plenty. 1
Author Adamgem Posted September 28, 2012 Author Posted September 28, 2012 Hmmm.. .I don't have a lot of experience with this, but I can tell you that if a person has proven that they will lie to you, you should be prepared that he will tell you any lie that he thinks he can make you believe. The guy you were involved with, you should know him better than we do. You know what kind of things he will say way better than what people here can tell you. This is very true. Of couse I know what kind of things to expect from him as I know him and the people on this board don't. (unless there are more things I do not know about)!! What I have noticed though, reading many stories on LS, is that many of the stories I can really relate to. There are so many things I have read on here that it helps me realise my situation is not unique. That he would be seperated and that we would move in together and have all his family and friends come and visit - that we spent so much time together - that everybody said how happy he was and at the end of all that he goes back to her.... He says he hasn't and that she is telling lies. I do not believe him. Maybe she is - I will never know. I heard how bad she was, how he felt trapped, they never slept together, he wouldn't have anything to do with her if it weren't for the kids and the assets...... more recently she is a great woman! I have read many other posters with similar stories.... I did not think that would happen to me. I really didn't. I thought many other bad things but not that! I see a pattern in a lot of what I read. The same excuses. The same reactions. The same. Like they all read the cheaters guide.... I would like to know what the cheaters guide says in this situation.... I know it will help me...
Kisa Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Well I am happy to say I lived through a TON of lies. xMM had me fooled for a while. 1. He said he lived in the basement 2. He said he never had sex with his wife 3. He said he was working towards a divorce 4. He told me the wife was totally on board 5. He told me they were going to counseling for the divorce transition, nope it was marriage counseling. I could probably go on and on. He deceived me just like he deceived his wife, kids and friends.
Author Adamgem Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Well I am happy to say I lived through a TON of lies. xMM had me fooled for a while. 1. He said he lived in the basement 2. He said he never had sex with his wife 3. He said he was working towards a divorce 4. He told me the wife was totally on board 5. He told me they were going to counseling for the divorce transition, nope it was marriage counseling. I could probably go on and on. He deceived me just like he deceived his wife, kids and friends. I am sorry for you. It was all the lies he told his partner that made me want out in the first place. I knew he would do that to me... I kept telling myself 'be careful with him - he is dangerous'... Lies lies and more lies.... 1
carhill Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Reflectively, the largest exaggeration of truth was that BH had a girlfriend and they (MW and BH) were 'done'. I heard voluminous details about the 'girlfriend' and the scum of BH's behaviors. Then the 'poof'. Houdini couldn't have disappeared a person as suddenly and without warning. This solidified the prior lesson about 'trust, but verify'. I was dealing with a master, as I would learn much later, and was but a pawn in the game. Great lessons.
RickFox Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Just assume that anything out of his mouth is a lie, after all, the relationship was built on deception, so it makes sense that anything he says is designed to deceive. 2
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